la Dolce Vita

things that i miss..

2011-12-10T00:59:00.000+08:00

konbanciwa..
再！★★***＼（＾Ｏ＾）／*** ★★デビュー！
last 2 month was seriously MAJI hectic ne..
so tensed that i really have no mood to even scribble anything..
but now that the breast and cervical cancer campaign has finally over.. i can finally breath a bit at work..
no more Ot until 8pm I hope after this..
well, not meaning to complain or anything.. but I cant help feeling afraid of going home alone at night at that time..

maa.. a lot have happened last few month.. but the highlight would always be that I was robbed on my way to work..
I am still traumatised over the whole thing .., that even hearing a motorcycle passing by can send me into panic mode.. (
and like adding salt to the fresh wound, we were short of staff that day, i'm the only nurse in the department, and we got a special procedure which i have to stay at work until late in the evening..
and not forgetting the fact that i couldnt get back home for Raya Haji.., lost the house key ( due to the snatch thief)..and patients on that day was like Asededjky@$&*--------> too many to cope!!!!!!
Story of my life.. （ _ _ ）..........o

Maa.. all that passed already ne.. SO.. lets hope for the best in the coming weeks..

_________________________________________________________________

Since its already a new year in the Muslim calendar, i have made a resolution that i will try to do things that i miss a lot since i started working, the one i always want to do but then too lazy... or too messed up and dont have the right spirit to do it..
I WILL STARTS MAKING CARDS AND PAINTS AGAIN!!!!!

so lets begin!!

a thank you card for NiNA's microbiologist.. too lazy to tink of anything more fancy..
maybe i'll try to add on some more to it later..

oh well.... the pic is blur..
but it's my official VIP Product label.. ( haha.. cam la ada company betul)
actually its supposed to look like a man in cap ( cough* YB*cough*) posing with a peace sign

this is for Ekin's wedding this Sunday.. We'll be going to Johor for the wedding tomorrow.. Yoshi!!!! Can't wait!! And Yeah, the Vip logo is kinda.. well.. not well cut.. but who cares right?

I think over the years, i have been making a LOT of cards to give to others, but i never record any of them in photo.. so i never knew what are my previous cards look likes.. except the ones that i give to mum and dad lah.. better starts recording em now...

next.. painting maybe..

traGEEDEE October..

2011-10-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

it's been a whole month since i last update ne..

and i offficiall DID NOT GO to the concert( although my mind was only thinking about it all the time before it was held) But I live through that fact.. * laugh*

been reading the news on the Big bang scandal earlier this month...

maa... i really hope what ever happened would not cause em to change anything..I like em the way they are now.. the way they are always.. and it would be so sad if the group disbanded( not that i was wishing for that to happen.. but looking at the situation.. hell no please)

I never like any other musician as much as i LOVE Big bang.. and they are the only group that i really realy reallyyyyyyyyy update on to.. Please YG.. dont act stupid..

WHY DO ALL GOOD THING HAVE TO END?

can we stop right there.. right now ... go back to the time when things were easy and happy

Even i know that they are too good to be true.. An idol with no flaw..Maji de? Are you kidding me.?
they have their own worries and prob, and streess too so.. can quite comprehend why Gd did that.. And i couldn't hate him for that.. But still, the price of that action is too high ne. *sigh*

~~gd, you such a heart breaker ( TnT)~~

why cant the bad boy image just remains there as it is?Just an album concept.. and nothing more than that. Just leave it there..

Things been going pretty hectic these day.. With all the breast cancer prevention campaign going on..

Being able to meet and help many people was a fun thing to do.. but only if you are not pressured by time and the surrounding..

it limit your attention to a patient ( while in your mind you are thinking of other patient), and make me impatient and stressed

I think i'm not being trully empathic when consoling patient because i dont have much time for them..I FAIL to give the best for one patient.!! and the feeling SUCK so bad!!

for those who have a family history of cancer, please.. please make an effort to have a body and blood checkup ne.

we have several patient diagnosed with breast cancer after the checkup..And being there when they heard the news was giving me such a hard time...In a buzy day like these days, I couldnt give you my time while i wanted to do just that..

i wanted to be that helping hand-when they feel that the world starts moving without them.. at least for that short period of time...

AT LEAST FOR THAT SHORT PERIOD OF TIME FRAME.. THAT TIME.. THAT PLACE..

i'll keep on trying!!! Gambaru Me..

show me love ( not a dream)

2011-09-04T19:05:00.004+08:00

ok.. selain dari lagu kat jukebox kat atas.. tajuk lagu ni langsung x da kaitan ngan apa yang aku nak tulis..
Saja bikin gempak sikit tajuknya..

sebulan x ngadap kamu encik fesbuk dan blogspot... sebulan hati aku aman tanpa rasa macam nak hupdate status tetiap jam... Sebulan jugak aku tertinggal sebarang brita remeh2 kat dunia fana ni ... chewah.. Aku rindu kamu RAMADHAN..

pas abih berhibernasi dari laptop amnya dan internet khususnya.. Hari Ini.. YA Hari Ini .. aku tersanggggaaaaaaaaaaattttttlah terkejut membaca post terbaru YGhype ....

pasai
.
...
......
pasai.

KOREAN WAVE MUSIC FESTIVAL 2011 IN KL!!!!!!

with GD and TOP ..................... an VI ( Ok.. i admit.. still dun quite like this guy..But I like his song nevertheless)

So lovin these 2 badass.. haha

ok.. so u already know about it..( Ok..diam.. sila buat2 eksited macam baru2 tau jugak)

DAMN....

rasa nak pi sesangat !!!!!

but Tiket rock pitt mahai kot.. tambah bila aku kena bawak Jeton... double tu.. ( tambah belanja raya haritu.. mmg makan rumput ja la aku bulan ni)

and also .. my YB is not there.... so kurang trill sgt la nak pi..

why la bukan konsert BB kat sini?

still undecided nak p ke tak.. but if the ticket is available until next week.. probably goin.. if not.. JAAA MATA ne!!! aku nak tunggu jugak full BB concert kat mesia..

so really, BIG BANG ;Show me Love ( not a dream )
please have a concert here in malaysia.. ( preferably in bkt jalil not stadium merdeka)

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on another note:

hari raya di Aloq staq panas !!! sudah sunburn tahap karipap terlebih masak dalam kuali.. Selasa ni ada appointment ngan doktor lagi..... Sure kena leter punya... ( Dr: i told u dun go into the sun..Me: " but i dun go into the sun.. i just play under the sun" ) Rasa malas nak jumpa Dr la macam ni...

Before I forget...

2011-07-26T00:45:00.001+08:00

Sbenarnya entry ni dah bertahun dah aku buat kat LJ.. tp sbb LJ dah x bberapa bermakna sejak x leh download ngan megauplaod dan megavedio dah.. LJ ku semakin bersawang... huhu.. Since entry ni adalah entry feberet aku kat LJ.. aku nak menrecycle ia balik.. haha.. ( sbnarnya malas nak hupdate..) So.. esp to kayers...
I'm PROUD TO BE ONE OF YOU!!!

Jul. 8th, 2009 at 11:31 PM

sebab tetiba je aku terasa sangat rindu sama sekolah lama aku, aku merelakan diri sendiri buat menda alah yang ditag kpd aku neh. Daripada mengusha budak2 lelaki dekat asrama depan pura2 baca buku, baik aku bt benda len. Manala tau nanti dia ingat aku ni rajin bt assignment ke..hahha

Let see how much you remember and how much you regret your high school years...

1. Who were your seatmates?

F1: Nadzirah F2: syapikah Najian + Naemah F3-HAjar + Haizum F4-Tehah F5-Tehah jugak (macam ada konspirasi bagi aku dpt tpt 2 lagi ja)

2. Still remember your English teacher?

HUh... English teacher.. Aku paling suke Cikgu english tym F3, tapi dah lupa r nama dia.. PN Zarina kot ngan Teacher Vijayanthi. tapi dlam byk2 cikgu yang ngajar aku aku pling byk x suka cikgu English. Ingat lagi Ms Au suka panggil kelas kitaorang '" lazy bum".. huh ingat lagi tuh.

3. What was your class name?

Oh...aku sangat suke soalan ni.. aku boleh kata penah masuk suma kelas la. lengkap nama Sultanah Asma

1 sultanah, 2 Asma , 3 Asma , 4 Kedah , 5 Kedah

*nota kakitangandanmulut = S adelah kelas terbaik menengah rendah , A adelahkelas 2nd dan K adelah kelas Utk Budak2 yang amik subjek IT

*nota kukukaki = Aku yang dulu bole tahanla..

4. Who was your love then?

eh?itu soalan sensitip* muka merah* next question..

5. Made friends to the lower years?

Agak ramai la... tapi sy x glamer macam drum major Band ataupun Ketua pengawas ataupun Kak Pah n the geng

6. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend?

apekah soalan ini...nak memerangkap nih.

girlfriend pastilah ada.... sbb 2 sekolah pompuan.

7. How was your table arrangement in class?

susun dua tym F1, susun 3 time F2 ngan F3 ( aku dok kat depan skali wooo), 2 balik tym F4 ngan F5 ( pun aku duduk kat depan skali jugak.. Bangge2)

8. Made any enemies?

aku x suke cikgu math aku time F2, kenape dia mesti nak tampal nama orang yang Galus Math kat papan kenyataan Math. Mesti r nama aku kekal kat situ sepanjang musim.Argh.. benci r ingat.

9. What games did you play?

huh.. batu seremban.. ? aku kaki kayu la..tulang reput x kacip ngan game2 ni sangat . selalu aku jadi tukang tepuk kat belakang jer.. Aku kan penyokong yang setia. Tapi aku mesti pastikan nama aku termasuk dlm list peserta Marathon sekolah la tetiap tahun. Walaupun antara orang terakhir dapat mata, tapi saya suke menda ni. Tapi aku aktif benda len yang bukan sukan r.

10. Did you buy your lunch?

wajibla.. dah bangun pagi pun liat, mana ada time nak bwk bekal.. tapi selalunya mkanan kat Kefeteria Asma cpt abih.. aku slalu makan biskut Tiger beli kat Ko-op jer.. Tu pun kadang2 ada geng2 mengecek biskut tu..

11. Were you a party animal?

Parti binatang? x penah jumpa pulak..

manade.. saya budak baik la time sekolah dulu, suci murni macam Safi..

tapi sejak masuk U ni dah sedikit tercemar la..tapi sy still berasa sy ni budak baik jugak.

12. Were you well known in your school?

Rasanya tidak. kecuali di kalangan pengawas yang jaga kat depan porch sekolah awal2 pagi. nama aku wajib ada dalam buku dorang. tapi aku x puas hatila, kenapa ada sorang senior prefect tu , macam x sabar2 nak tulis nama aku dalam buku dia, x sempat aku nak turun dr kereta, dia dah siap tulis nama aku dah.. Nampak sgt keglameranaku terserlah di awal2 pagi.

13. Skip classes?

time Kelas Jahitan Pn Rozana Luxamana..aku mesti cari alasan x mau pegi sekolah. ngeri r kelas 2 , dah r aku memang x berbakat dalam jahit menjahit ni, Dia plak macam tau2 je aku memang x kacip ngan keja2 orang pompuan ni, selalu je bt round time aku guna mesin Jahit, Salah jahit je aku mesti kena cubit.. Dah la yang mesin tu pun , asal aku guna je bt perangai.. Memang Cis la kelas jahitan dulu. sbb tu sampai skrg aku still x pandai jahit.

14. Did you get suspended/expelled?

walaupun saya kaki dating lambat tetiap hari ke sekolah walaupun En Yusub dah pecut kereta Wira itam dia hari2 mengalahkan micheal shumaker ( time tu dia femes lagi), tapi aku x penah r kena warning nak kn suspend pun. Saya kan budak baek.. heh.

15. Can you sing the school song?

Sekolah Sultanah Asma,

Lahir dari cita-cita,

Mendidik serikandi bangsa,

Berjasa sepanjang masa,

Berjanji setulus hati,

Berikrar semurni kata,

Belajar, berilmu, berbakti,

Tertunai harapan semua.

Dengan tekad dan keyakinan,

Berazam mencapai kejayaan,

Hadapi dugaan, cabaran,

Demi kesejahteraan masa depan.

Oh sekolah tercinta,

Mekar subur perkasa,

Namamukan diplihara,

Dengan peribadi mulia.

*aku tulis sendiri tahu,aku tidak salin dan tampal

16. What was your favorite subject?

walaupun aku suka buat2 rajin, tapi sbnarnya aku memang amat malas blajar, tambah time add math.. (kalau boleh nak antuk kepala kat dinding sbb terasa terlampau bodoh nak paham benda yang diajar tu) .eh.. silap soalan .Aku sentiasa bersemangat time kelas Seni..Kalau Pn Kartini x buat klas minggu tu.. aku akan sgt down spanjang minggu. Oh..dan Kimia, time form 5, sbb terasa paham benda yang orang len x paham sgt.. bangge lah tu.

Tapi agaknya kalau sir Ong yang ngajar aku fizik, mungkin aku akan sangat minat Fizik kot..*wink.wink* hahahah

17. What was your school's full name?

Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Sultanah Asma ( alamat aku lupa)

18. Did you go to the dances?

menari apa? Cak lempong? Oh.. tidak, setakat menari utk pertandingan senamrobik tu adala.. err, jawab soalan ke tuh?

19. Where did you go most often during breaks?

Pusing2 pekan Alor star.. sampai sekarang pun lagu tu. Dah bosan dah pun asyik tengok benda2 yang sama.

20. If you could go back in time and do it all over, would you?

Kalau boleh pegi balik ke zaman tu? Wajaibla aku nakkkk sangatttttt. Mesti la aku x melapaskan peluang tu.x bosan pun. Kalau boleh patah balik, aku nak pastikan aku mesti buli Adib sebelum dia stat buli aku..hahaha, belajar main gitar dari Ida, datang awal 1st day persekolahan supaya boleh pilih tempat. Pastikan aku mintak balik semua projek seni aku dari pn Kartini,( menyesal aku x amikbalikkeja aku tu) blajar lagi banyak sal seni halus, participate dalam banyak lagi xtvt sekolah, share lagi banyak benda dgn Aliaa ngan Erma.. ( pastu sembunyi cd tu dengan pembungkus hadiah sbb x mau bagi teheh nampak), Amik gambar ngan cikgu Harun ngan Sir ONg utk ditunjuk kat anak cucu aku.. ( bahawasanya aku penah bergambar ngan jejaka- most-wanted kat sekolah..heh) Lukis lagi banyak gambar Sir Ong… ohhhhh banyaknya benda aku nak buat.

21. What do you remember most about 5th year?

Mestilah semua yang berkaitan dengan Kayers. Kamu semua sangat best dan gempak la., pengalaman kena jumpa Mak leha sal projek seni x siap, rombongan ke langkawi ( eh. Tu tingkatan 4).time nak dekat xm, blajar waktu petang ngan Aliaa ( yang jd sgt awkward sbb Aliaa tetiba diam.. macam ada yang x betui ja), pesan McD time bulan posa..( kes geng2 uzur).. Upha ngan nadia dok buat pertandingan pantun 2 kerat.."Awam Goreng" dan "ikan gering Koreng" Aliaa dan .. banyak la..

22. Worst memory in 5th year?

Fail ntah brapa kali berturut2 subjek Add math ( tapi aku dapat B jugak time SPM.. Oh, biarkan aku berbangga sekejap dengan diri aku yang dulu.. diriku sekarang?.. boleh tahan kot), Kena gelak ngan ms Au sbb salah sebut “youth”( bebulu tul aku time tu), hari sukan (memang musim paling aku x gemar).Kena tinggal oleh En yusub sbb lambat keluar dari kelas ( sampai kul 7 ptg). Kena kutip sampah sebab datang lambat ( denda le ni)

bila ingat balik, memang sangat best la time kat sekolah dulu.. tapi kenapa dulu nak sangat masa cepat gerak.. I wish we could go back to that moment.

Rindu la dengan:

Sir Ong dan habit dia yang suka sebut OK tu..
Cikgu Sarafudin yang slalu terlelap dalam kelas.
Gelagat Raja dok usha ustaz Faisal.
Kayers ( dan bdk2 pompuan len) yang tetiba jadi diam time Sir Ong lalu kat bilik Sains ( pastu dia sedar orang tengok dia.. dia gelak2 sendiri..Cumel la).
Upha yang slalu bt pertandingan pantun 2 kerat dalam kelas.. ( gile rindu la)
Pah-si ketua yang slalu kelang kabut..da Upha si penolong yang suka pekena orang
Wida yang slalu tido dalam kelas tapi dapat markah tinggi jugak ( jeles x terhingga)
En Rosli dan perut buncitnya terutamanya time dia bersandar kat meja guru..
Adegan menyembunyikan henset time pengawas buat spot check.
Gejala meniru jawapan Add math Raja bila org nak kutip buku.
Erma yang slalu dok usha abang Sue..
Time kelas jadi kecoh time nak bedah Katak waktu Bio.
Sir Tan yang cumel.
Beratur depan kelas, nyanyi lagu negaraku sebelum masuk kelas ( tapi aku slalu x da la .. dah mai lambat)
Time sekolah buat latihan kebakaran tapi x da sesapa pun peduli sbb ingat bunyi loceng time rehat…satu kelas rentung r centu.
jam dinding F4 yang Pah letak dalam kelas dulu..memang semua orang tetiba jadi concern dengan time ketika itu.
Kegilaan Pah kat Jerry sampai beli buku novel Meteor garden dengan drama dia skali..
Kegiatan menyeludup kaset Energy & Vcd Jepun ngan Erma,dan Aliaa.
Choral speaking..dengan budak kelas N ke M ntah
Pertandingan senamrobik, yang adik pah jadi jurulatih, pastu muncul gelaran”Penguin” kat Ana.
En harun yang "ensem" bak kata Aliaa dan ahli2 fanclub dia especially time hari guru. Mesti pengawas yang bagi bunga kat dia gembira x terkira.
budak2 asrama yang selalu tido dalam kelas menjelang hari2 penilaian asrama gemilang.
dan yang paling rindu, berkumpul beramai2 time pertandinagn band, sambil dok boo budak kolej.
Kena panggil'"pREP " oleh geng2 yang x best tu ( bdk2 kolej)
.

ONCE AN ASMARIAN ALWAYS AN ASMARIAN!!Even if i was given a chance to change anything back then , i will still choose all of you!!!

seblog entry terbuka kepada Aliaa tersayang.. ( ewah.. hahaha)

2011-07-03T02:12:00.001+08:00

Tema: irama Malaysia + hip hop

Ahem.. ( clear throat)

Kehadapan dan kekiri kanan sedari Ellie yg jauh di retina tapi dekat di h~~ippopotamus~~ hippocampus, harap sedari sihat hendaknya. Lama udah x menerjah berita sedari cam si encik rambut kerinting yg ntah apa namanya tu.. bagemana hidupmu skrg? Sorry ( ey..silap tema) maaf krn tak bjaya menjadi kawan yang baik kerana kekedekutan kredit dan seribu alasan yang bersekongkong dengannya.. maaf krn x jaga-dalam-sentuh( keep in touch) lama.. tapi percayala( baca macam nyanyi lagu Ning baizura)- Rindulah kamu ( ok.. gelila pulak bila baca sendiri.. haha)

Utk buat cerita pendek jd panjang.. ni nak habaq mai satu cerita..

Genre: seram –seram sejuk

Klasifikasi : untuk tontonan 23 thn ke bawah sahaja mengikut calendar cina..

Dalam dunia ni ada ramai orang, tapi dalam ramai2 orang ni ada 3 ja watak ynag nak diceritakan kat sini.. Jin, Ryo dan Yamapi( watak mungkin bukan jelmaan semata2-kajian pakar menunjukkan ada kaitan dengan yang masih idup dan tak mati)

Jin, Ryo dan yamapi adalah 3 orang homosapien ( bukan homo lain {mudah-mudahanya..amin}) yg telah ditakdirkan utk berjumpa dan bkawan baik . yamapi dan Jin berkwan sejak time tingkatan 4 di sebuah sekolah yang nama lainya School di kalangan scholar yang suka naik scoot. Bagaimana mereka berjumpa tak dicatit di mana2 buku sejarah tamadun awal manusia, tapi disyaki sbb mereka suka melepak2 di pkarangan sekolah tetiap petang mengira kereta2 mewah cikgu, menunggu cikgu yang HARUM berjalan ke keretanya sambil menuggu giliran utk balik. Ada pendapat lain mengatakan mereka terikat oleh satu kebetulan yang mantap, iaitu bapa kpd Jin yg amat dikenali oleh Pi kerana yamapi amat lemah dalam kira2.

Ryo dan yamapi asalnya bukannya baik sangat pun.. Ryo adalah sorang pembuli yang bersama ngan gengnya suka membuli Pi yang comel.. mungkin jeles kerana cikgu yang HARUM itu selalu melintas di depan meja Pi yang terletak betul2 di depan kelas. Tapi sbb Pi sangat baik ati, dia masih berkwan jugak ngan ryo walaupun ryo ada jugak buat dia sakit limpa kadang2. Seperti ujikaki sains yang x berapa betul, ntah mengapa Ryo yang panas+ kuat macam HCl boleh bersebati dengan yamapi yang sejuk+ lembut macam ethanol menjadi sebatian yang berbau buah-buahan. Mungkinkah kerana campuran asid dan alcohol menghasilkan ether dan bukannya bloody mary seperti yang disangka- sangka. Inference berikut telah dipertikaikan sampai ke peringkat PKG.

Yamapi dan ryo dan Yamapi dan Jin x penah mengaku mereka adalah besfren masing2. Mungkin malu, control marcho atau tak terlintas utk mengaku.. tapi mereka bahagia dengan cara mereka.. Jin dan Pi berminat ngan music yang sama dan selalu berbincang pasal sorang awek pujaan bnama izza.. (hohoho) Selagi ada music dan cerita baru ttg awek pujaan, mereka akan bermesej berjam2 lamanya tanpa memikirkan risiko mendapat carpal tunnel syndrome. Jin adalah tempat utk Pi menjadi dirinya yang sebenar tanpa perlu piker tentang pandanagn orang lain terhadapnya. Dia bebas utk menjadi pelik , hodoh, jahat, selekeh, bodoh,gila2 dll di depan Jin. Tapi Pi tak penah memberitahu Ryo atau Jin bahawa dia amat berterima kasih kerana mendapat mereka sbg kawan. Yang dia amat sayangkan mereka spt sorang ahli keluarga. Pi amat yakin yang dia ada banyak masa utk mengucapkan terima kasih dan saya sayang awak kpd Ryo dan Jin.. tapi takdir x semestinya ikut apa yang kita mahukan..

Yamapi diterima masuk Universiti Meiji dalam course yang dia suka, meninggalkan Jin sensorang di kg. Tapi itu bukan penghalang krn mereka masih tahu guna sms dan muka buku dan jurnal hidup masing2. Mesej JIN masih lg jd msg terbanyak dalam henset Pi. Disebabkan jin lg pandai dan lg bijak dr Pi, dia diterima blajar di LA .. memikirkan Jin mendapat kawan2 mat saleh dan bertemu minah2 saleh yang kurang cun dr Izza dan dalam suasana baru, Pi agak sedih sbb takut Jin berubah.. tapi mungkin dia yang salah..

Setelah graduasi, Pi terus mendapat byk work offer, dia menjadi terlalu sibuk utk hidup selain daripada kehidupan bekerjanya.. Setiap hari pun bekerja, balik keja terus letih dan terus dengan kerja keesokkan herinya.. Dia terlupa utk bersosial, dia terlupa utk berseronok, dia terlupa tentang Jin dan Ryo.. dia terlupa menjadi dirinya sendiri. Mesej antara dia dan jin semakin kurang sampai ke satu tahap, dia memikir banyak kali utk memsg Jin,Disebabkan cuti mrk x sama, mereka tak penah dah kuar berpeleseran di secret recipe atau mc donod terpilih sambil bergosip2 berjam2 sampai pihak restoran menjeling2 tajam dengan pandangan Bila-nak-kuar-ni-woi! . BANDAGE yang mengikat mereka semakin terlerai, . mereka hilang Idea bila mahu bercakap hingga akhirnya mesej yang dihantar hanyalah berisi, “ neee.... Aitaiiiiii” dan Cuma berbalas “ aitai yo” sebelum Pi menjadi kurang bijak utk membalas dan menamatkan msg.

Sesekali Pi berasa amat rindu dengan masa2 lepas dimana mereka boleh bercerita apa sahaja kepada satu sama lain. Dia rindu utk “berfanboying” ( heh) dengan Jin, rindu utk tersengih sorang2 macam kerang busuk depan henset atau laptop, rindu utk jerit OMGGGGGGGGGGG atau MAJI DE??????????bila dgr berita2 sensasi yg Jin cerita daripada LA. Senang cerita this YAMAPI misses his JIN.

Jauh di myocardium yamapi, dia ingin menjerit... I miss you!! Dan meminta maaf kepada Jin kerana berubah sikap , kerana menjadi punca kenapa hubungan mereka jadi macam lauk yang terkurang garam, mcm sambal belacan yg x da belacan, macam wasabi yang x berkaler hijau..dan yang paling dia ingin katakan adalah... , You are an important piece of puzzle that i’m beginning to realizing i’m loosing because of my foolishness.. My best friend. Without you, i would not be complete, i’m not me!.

Yes.. Pi misses Jin so very much!!

Tamat part 1.. to be continued..

*Skrin hitam muncul *

*credits muncul

Based on a true story...

Screenplay, editing, scrip, editor, director, producer,wardrobe,camera,stunt, besboy,sound,makeup- IZZA..

this stupid heart wish for.....

2011-04-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

i just wish...............
that..

MY heart stop pumping so hard when I saw his pic or him updating his status..

demmit....

after all these years....why still cant 4get him...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DARN IT!!!!

this crazy little thing called love.... ( or is it?)

Why bother?

2011-04-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

Last few weeks ago, one patient went for a Ct scan of the thorax and abdomen in our hospital. A very elegant woman in her fifties.

I called her in, with a thin smile, she just walk towards me.

we went quite for a few minutes after I explained to her about the CT scan and prepare her for the test.

this was her 1st time doing the scan, so i understands if she felt anxious about it..

I looked at the diagnosis made by the specialist;- CA BREAST..

now i understand what that sad face is actually saying. My heart felt for her.

we talked for quite some time. She has just receive the news about her disease that morning-the lab result from her breast biopsy show that the cell was cancerous.. She was still in a shock., and most likely still unable to accept the news..

I wish there is more that i can do for her except just listening to her feeling and holds her hands in that time. Im half wishing that she could just cry if she want to, because it will ease her sadness, but she didn't. ( And i'm half cursing myself for being the one near to tears). She was calm during the whole conversation, telling me about her life, living as a single mother raising 3 children all by herself after her husband died.

I asked her about her feeling upon hearing the news.

"i'm scared" .. then she stops and look downs..

"i'm not scared of dying.. i'm scared to think how will my sons live without me.. can they cope? i dont want to be a burden to them.. "

a drop of water fell down her cheek.

This is women who just receive the news that she have cancer, she should be thinking about herself but all she could think was her children..( which all are already working and over 22 yrs old already)And I was thinking, "Our parents sure are the greatest person in the world, if only we know and appreciate them before they are gone"

we hugged before she left..with the same thin smile, she walks aways

I ran into the changing room.. Looked at the pic of my parent in the cellphone.Cry.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on another occasion, a bunch of girls went out for dinner..

In the car when everyone else was chatting about around, someone's cellphone rings.

it was her father on the line..

the others went quite for a while..

As the girl on the phone speaks to her parents, someone else from the back sit suddenly snap, " Why must she always talks to her parents everyday? I think even when she wants to get married she will talks to her parents about it"

The other went quite still..

The girl with the phone clench her hand so hard.. forcing herself to calm down from slapping that backseater so hard in the face..

" It was my business.. ( suka ati aku la)" was all she could says.

then someone else's cellphone ring.. It was the girl in the back seat's cell..

Her boyfriend is on the line.. . And she have been calling him even before they started the journey to the restaurant and 30 minutes after that and 20 minutes after the 2nd call..

I couldnt help but to smirk and kick her hard in the stomach in my imagination..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So.. it is WRONG to talk to your parents everyday, but it is totally OK to talk to your boyfriend every minutes..

Oh, I get It.. Parents are supposed to be remembered only when you have problems with your boyfriend and friends..

You dont need to asked how are they doing except the moment your neighbor call saying that your mum/dad was warded.. and then you snap back at your parents, " why havent you told me you are sick" when you called them last month.

You dont need your parents, so why bother talking to them about their life, why bother care about them when they are always there for 24 years of your life no matter how bad you talk to them.. you will always be their daughter. But you need to keep in touch with your boyfriend every minutes because you need them to like you, because otherwise he would think you are not interested in him and search for other girl or maybe he will be fuming mad because you didn't call back when you are really busy.

Yeah.. why bother thinking and keeping in touch with a couple of old people whom have been raising you, give you shelter, Love, education, listen to you when you are sad, tend to your sickness, give you whatever that you want when in fact that they don't have much for themselves.Always think of your best interest even during the time they are sick.

BUT

it is VITAL to think and call that Guy whom you just met the 3 weeks ago, who you doesn't even know if they really like you for you or they have other intention, always pushing you to tell him every thing that you did that day when you were really tired from working, who doesn't have the intention to have something serious with you in the near time..

YEAH.. WHY BOTHER ABOUT PARENTS? Your Boyfriend is obviously very important.

HELL NO!!!

2011-04-19T01:16:00.000+08:00

remember when i said that i have a VERY VERY BAD Luck with people..
it's happening again.. and with the same person.. cet
vavik tul la jadi camni lagi esp time aku dah putus harapan nak keja kat sini..

I think i have made it clear that i dont wanna have anything to do wit that girl..
still why ask me to move out with her.. And Why HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( dalam ramai2 orang)
dont wanna work where she work..
dont wanna go out when she tag along ( because mulut dia mmg x da insurance and yes.. I dont like narcissistic-nosy attention seeker)
Don wanna but in when she's busy seeking attention- HEll, I dont care about your boyfriend or your life, I dont EVEn wanna fucking care about YOU!!
I dont wanna act like i enjoyed her STUPID INSULTING remarks about me( which she obviously think is funny/ amusing)
I dont wanna act normal when I really feel like hitting her hard in the face the next time she open her stinky mouth and insult me.
and doesnt that make it REALLY CLEAR that..
LIVING WITH her in the SAME HOUSE again Is impossible for me!!!!

seriously think I'm SICK of all this game of life..
I'm SICK OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's high time for me to get out of PJ..
there are thing I can tolerate..macam keja ngan Si tukang Kipas boss yang semakin malas bt keja, tahan kena marah ngan boss yg racist, tahan kena tengking ngan patient ultrasound yang tak reti bahasa..diperli/dimarah oleh Radiologist yang pro-si tukang kipas, di-ignore oleh rumate aku dari 2-3 minggu lepas.. Aku boleh tahan ngan suma tu..

TAPI

but

living with the bitch-from-hell is not something i can take right now( or the next 2 month)-unless you really want to see me going seriously depress..

AND HELL NO!!!! I dont wanna relive my 1st year depression again..
i'm walking out of all this mess...
she's going to torture my feeling NO MORE..

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-04-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

nothing much to say...
Just Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

cant help smiling like an idiot watching this movie.. funny and in most part, can totally relate to this movie..

and oh..

MARIO MAURER why do you have to be so Cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw, I wonder what whitening product did Nam( the female lead) use that she became instantly fairer in just a year.. haha..maybe i could get hold of those product too.. ( well, not that i actually have someone in mind to impress.. but who knows, .. Heh) =P

Ok.. cakap banyak pun tak guna.. Tengok je la.. totally worth watching.. Love it to bits!!

mode: In love with Pshone~

A LOVE LETTER TO MR D..

2011-04-09T01:09:00.001+08:00

i remember the 1st time i set my eyes on YOU..
so solid and sophisticated..I'm mesmerized
i cant help thinking about you.. I THINK IT's LOVE
even when i no longer see you nearby, the memory of you still linger in my mind..

yesterday, i saw you again..
my heart was beating so fast... I THINK this stupid love come again
this heartache is driving me crazy!!

my heart was saying..
" can i reach for you"
" can I hold you "
" can I ever have you"
dear Mr D, I really want you..

seeing you in the hand of other...
my heart hurt..
I think It's jealousy..
the way you just fit with that other girl, the way both of you look when you are together..
i want you..
but having you come with a price to pay...and that was something i cant affort right now
Ohoho..

Mr D.. I wonder when will we be together
getting to know each other ..
to get my hand on your magnificent body...
going everywhere together.. no matter what other may say,
i know as long as we are together, I'll be the happiest girl there is..
MR D, I know we were always meant for each other..

I REALLY REALLY WANT YOU MR DSLR Camera....
hahahaaha

the not-so-sincere-writer,

VIPCOLOGIST..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's is an important date to me..
to the most optimistic person whom always inspire me with his writing..
and always brought me smiles even during my hardest time..
who make goofy boys look adorable and make me starts to go nuts over cute-clumsy-guy-who-doesnt-even-know-he -look-cute-being-goofy..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMAPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
may you still be the most handsome and cool 'goofy' ever!!!!!

and for that catchphrase that I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE MOST!!!!! sankyu...

I'M POSSIBLE!!!!!!

ohoho..... I like one part in this CM.. Very much.. *wicked laugh*
just went back from the beach last 2 weeks.. and only 3 things come to mind at that time:
- beach reminds me of Pi very much.. ( which make me love the sea even more, ReGARDLESS of the sunburn i hVE TO suffer the following days (T.T)
2- L'arc en ciel's- shizuka no umi de.. ( well.. it's not that quiet in pangkor anyway.. but the song is sweet..ANYWAY..) next
3- It would be totally GREAT if i have a DSLR with me.. lots of ideas, but i cannot do it with my current digicam.. cet!
which bring me to... the conclusion:

urmh.....I'm SOOOOO getting myself the Nikon DSLR!!!!!!

la dolce vita..

2011-03-27T22:21:00.005+08:00

konbanchiwa minna..

wonder how are everybody doing.. i've been busy being boring, i think i dont have anything to update. * laugh*

when i check the total number of post i've made ( publish or just kept as draft) this is my 101th post.. wah.. that many aa.

i didn't expect myself to write that many nagging thought.. and to think that i first start blogging here because i need an outlet to release my life frustration..having 101 post here, My LIFE must seem like a tragic tale to you.. * deciding to cry or to laugh*

Hope I didn't get you wrongly think that my whole life is like a mess ( well, sometime it is)

LA DOLCE VITA means the sweet life in Italy. it's not that I can read nor understand italian nor am I a fan of the movie.. dolce vita is what i want to achieve by venting out here. SO that i will feel at ease after throwing em out.

i am a person with difficulties to show how I really feel in real life.. i just don't know how to react properly in most cases involving contact with others.

in front of the guy i like, instead of smiling endlessly and shows affection/or whatever it is that the normal girl would do.. my normal reaction would be like this:

Boy :( make a funny statement)

me : *laugh a bit*-if it really funny or just go *.........*

then change the topic without even trying do a fake laugh.

Boy : You are very creative la for doing.......... ( this or that) like this . never knew u are so talented

Me: *without much expression* .. urmh.. thanks..

then walk away like its nothing to be really happy about ( while the truth is i feel like flying with glee when he talks)

or the time when someone make me piss off..

All the time.. I can only smile a bit..or make a face and act as if i dont care eventhough i'm boiling inside.

I JUST COULDNT SHOW MY REAL EMOTION IN FRONT OF OTHERS

so that's why this blog was started..

i am always better at expressing them by writing or drawing than to just let run amuk in front of other. It has always works to calm me down.. except that i never have the chance to tell Dr Poet that I fancy him even before we started the drama preparation .That he was such a wonderful actor and that he was like the generator to the whole English class-without him the class was well..not lively. And I want to thank him because in some part or another, college life was bearable. OH Well.. that was old story.. But I can't help to wonder if our lines will cross again.

I think I have the worst luck with people.

When i loathe someone and wove not to EVER meet him/her again.. the next thing I know, i'm stuck with that person. It's true, there's this ex-roomate from Uni whom like to boast about herself or her man,take my thing without even asking, a fulltime attention seeker with loud voice and endlessly talks..talks and talks *shake head*. I thought after we were allowed to find our own place to life during 2nd year in , I would never have to face her again except during class, and it turns out she's living 2 floor above us.. then when have to stay in hostel again, she's next door and after graduated from uni.. she live just a block away from my house. AND i have to face her when me and my close friend went outing together because she live with that friend .Is this a curse or what? knowing this, I tried to shake the feeling i have for her all this while, but heck, if she's acting JUST THE WAY SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.. i doubt that any change is even possible. Maybe i'm blinded by hate..heh

In RL, i really don't speak much, unless it is necessary..

you wouldn't hear me going all girly-girly or gossiping like i did here..( unless you are Aliaa) I hate conversation just for the sake of not being quiet .. how to say this.. urmh.. the kind u did just to break the silence but you don actually want to listen to what the other reply to you..you just hate the quietness. But I like It, silence is golden, It prevent me saying the wrong thing to others and save others from my cynical remarks ( I'm damn good at that actually, just dont let me get it loose.. I can be REAL MEAN.. and i mean IT)

i dont know where this statement lead to.* laugh*

just.. sorry that all of you have to bear with my continuous rambling about life, this is my only way out since i left all my painting kit at home.. Or, i'll turn really crazy

i promise, i will try to update more on the merry side ( which i always so lazy to write about ) to balance with the ugly side( which i always have the energy to write about)

for bearing with me..

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

oh.. and by the way, i got inspiration on title of the blog from jiyoung's tatoo...*wink and laugh* you would have thought of that already.

Jumping Jumping!!

2011-03-09T22:22:00.004+08:00

Ok.. after the last entry, i thought that i'll be another 2 to 3 month before i have the mood to wrote anything here..

heck.. I cant keep fangirling to myself..

YG.. you should know i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE you so very much..

A BB concert in Malaysia.. KL even.. what more could i ask for!!

really YG.. I LOVE you.. LOL

Really cant wait for june!!!( please2 don't change the place or time.

GOSH... this song is so damn intoxicating..Already fall in love the moment i heard i.. TONIGHT..
and i swear.. Tabi is so darn cool with the new hair.!!and at the end when he says goodnight..
Oh! i think my heart just went out.. ~ melting

WHAT is RIGHT.. kinda like a children song for some reason.. you keep on humming to the song.. ( although all I could sing out correctly is only the'what is right and what is wrong') haha.

ok.. admit it.. Gd look lovely in here..

he look more beautiful than a real girl.. I'm so jealous!!

somebody to love..
jeez.. *eyes fixed at YB*
Jeez!!!!!* blush*

did someone turn off the fan ..it Hot in here

oo

at first.. i think this song was Unn..a no-no for me.. but it starting to grow on me.. (^.^)V

their new album was somewhat diff from the last one.. But all in the good way.
Like. Like.Like and LIKE again..(if only there's a like button here)
just the cover was DUH! wonder why must they make most of their cover like that.. Hurm..

CANT WAIT for JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* better start practicing the dance steps!!*

working live is totally overrated!!

2011-03-08T23:01:00.003+08:00

Remember when you are still a student in some university, all you want at that time is to finish your studies and get into the community as fast as you could..

remember at that time you imagining yourself being a totally different you, more mature, poise, confident and more knowledgeable perhaps..

Yes!! I'm going to be a working women once I graduated from here.. Life would be so much different then" you told yourself..

after working for 6 month..

you liked your job.. and still striving to follow the vibe..

but..

it seem that the way to go or survive at the place is only by flattering your boss, play by her rule.

you have no say on whatever issue that she come up with..

+ workplace politics began to take place more than the working issue..

+ Have to bear with the boss's pet, take over her job( which she messed and never admitting her mistake)..

+ take responsibility of other colleagues mistakes- just because you are higher qualified( while the fact is that you are just starting in the area, so how could I Know everything)

+ try not to be dis-hearted by comment made by others( the colleagues) who don't seem to be able to appreciate what you done ( IGNORANT people are such a pain in the ass!!)

+ You wake up everyday, feeling that job is just a routine from monday to Saturday.. do the same thing everyday.. tired by the end of the day

and then at the end of the day, lay half asleep.. asking yourself.. " what have i actually achieve today?' and just sleep without receiving the answer..

Yeah.. Life is different now.. - for all the wrong reason.

I DONT WANNA LOOSE MY PASSION TOWARDS NURSING.. !!

but given these circumstances.. I'm seeing myself running far away from what i hope to achieve.

I wanna love it here again !!

have I let go of my opportunity to work near home for something that i ends up hating.. ( not quite there yet.. but I fear that it will be one day)

have i lose all that i strive hard for for a job that the only motivation for me to keep on doing it is purely financial based..

i wanna keep on loving you dear colleagues, i wanna keep on enjoying helping you dear doctors, and most importantly,

I wanna be the one who will ease your fear before and during procedure,

A friend when you 1st heard a bad news after a CT/MRI checkup,

A person you can trust all your worries,

i wanna be the best for you .. dear PATIENTs..

Dear me..

PLEASE ALWAYS HAVE THE PASSION AND HEART TO DO GOOD.. no matter how hard the blow come from the surrounding.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
( mother theresa)

One in a mirrion!!

2011-01-30T22:26:00.005+08:00

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

his holding a concert in bangkok this April..

LIKE OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

should i go..?

like seriously, should I really go.. ? I want to go sooo DESPERATELY!!!

but hurm.. is it really safe to go to bangkok these days.. * thinking hard*

damn JE, always holding their show, concert in Bangkok ..

why not try changing the venue to Kl instead.. then i wouldnt be having this double thought about goin because there would be no way i', gonna miss seeing da dorky AKIRA, drop-dead-gorgeous-KUROSAGI, Super Cool-AIZAWA SENSEI..ect2

AKU NAK PI TGK PIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!..

At first when encik puan mas told me about his concert, didnt really have any intention to even consider going to this concert. but after some time, cant help but to think of going..

and over time, the thought grows more intense.. huhu

and usually i will follow what my heart tune my mind into

seeing him dancing... ~~~~~~~~~~ heaven~~~~~~~~~~~~~* dreamy mode*

But really, thinking of going to foreign place without any friend doesn't seem inviting at all..

SO.... WHO's COMING WITH ME? haha ( on your own expense i mean)

anyway... just found out the original singer of the song. No wonder the song have so many engrish to it.. LOL

but .. i think his version make more sense..

* put a msg in a bottle*

*track you down by a satelite*- i donno bout you.. but the lyrics doesnt seem to fit well..it's kinda weird even.

and his voice was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better suit for it.. Ok.. heavely Pi biased.. but WTH.

hurm.. wonder, how much is one Baht to RM ?

ne, i know you would be so depress if i'm not there to support you.. * cough*.. LOL

that's more like it.. * doing the nobuta power gesture*

and YEs.. I still have a great crush on you mr Akira san.. ohoho

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feel great to be able to fangirl back.. !!!

feel free to be me for a while.. haha.

I miss you my crazy fangirl self.. !!! Good to have you back.. * pat self*

hoho..

sebuah entry baru akhirnya...!!

2011-01-20T21:47:00.004+08:00

konbanchiwa..

ahem.....

* dgn suara ala2 penyimpan mohor raja2)saya dengan ini mengistiharkan, I'm BACK!!!!!!!

finally after some time living without MR LaPPy, I've gotten myself a replacement for 'him'

Ureshii naa!!!!

and since today is a public holiday..

I have more reason to be happy!!!!

WORK...

back in the days when everything is all about study, assignment, exam and skipping class whenever possible ( laugh), I keep wishing that time flew faster than it already does..but i don't think that i wanted to be in the working group that much. I just want to escape University sooo badly, i think most of the post here reflect my misery more than the merry part.

But for most part, I'm blessed to have meet each circumstances although there are still unsettled feeling left behind.

You maybe can forgive, but to forget take a lot of time and strength ne.

Some may say that i hold a grudge to the one who hurt me, but it's not about keeping a bad feeling towards someone, but forgetting each insulting remarks and words throw at you is another thing.

Those who doesn't experience let alone understand what other's been through, I don't think they have any right to say anything. fullstop.

sorry, didn't mean to touch this issue on todays comeback post, just wanna clear something over a statement made by someone. I'm not a vengeful person, but a crack in the heart caused by certain people words or action isn't something that can be mend easily, especially when that person keep doing it repeatedly. WAKARU?

ok.. totally forgotten what i originally want to post..

and my mind is too occupied with the latest discovery of an axillary lymph node swelling in my right. God please let it be a normal swelling, not the one i thought it was.

2010-11-27T02:38:00.002+08:00

it's been a while since i felt like wanting to post anything here...

not that i don have anything to say anymore.. just too lazy to open up blogspot and scribble just anything that come across my mind.

then, my dearest laptop broke down.. ( selamat tinggal dear LAPPY) RIP.. huhu..still very much devastated with the lost...all my pictures and video project done throughout the 4 years were totally unable to be saved * SIGH*

anyway.. thinking about that now aleady kill my mood straight away..

I'm Missing MY lappy so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

just a quick update..

- I' M officially a working 'adult' now!!! ( which make no different in my way of thinking, but just change in the amount of things i'm starting to waste money on)

-Tomorrow, my graduation day- but then realize a new pimple forming somewhere on the face. CHEEEEESEEEEEEE sungguh.. time2 genting camni la dia nak bt cameo..

- and oh yeah... i'm still depress about my laptop and the missing memory , i dont feel like writing right now..( said it 3 time already.. emphasizing how miserable i am now.. huhu)

so, until i finally have the courage and gather up my thought, Ciao for now..

it's not IMPOSSIBLE its I'M POSSIBLE

2010-08-16T23:50:00.006+08:00

it is no secret that i am always fascinated with Japan..

well.. maybe recently , with all the halyu waves crushing in, I may seem a little distracted..but here i am back at the first square..

I'd love to go to that country, if given a chance..hehe

just finish reading an article about Foreign Nurses in Japan..

hurm, most people know that they don't really like foreigners working in their land- (so I heard..)

but I found the concept of it is quite the same with Malaysian.. ahem.. I mean, if we all like foreigners working in our country, I think there would not be so much talk or comments that smell anti-illegal worker,or anti-worker from this and that country.. ( ahem *cough*..I might be one of em) Ey..what the point of this part really actually?

to the main point..

I think it was last year that the Philippine made a deal with the Japanese government to have their nurses send to the land where my Dr Aizawa reside.. (I'm a helpless fangirl..huhu )

Anywayyyyy....

they have done it, even though only one of em pass the exam..

Malaysian nurses.. When is our time?.. * puppy eyes*

( dear Dr Aizawa.. I'm looking forward to working with you..!!!)

it may seem to be impossible for me to get it at this point ( since Malaysia did not made such agreement with Japan).. But I believe that I'M POSSIBLE . If I tried my best, I believe I will find my ways to achieve that.. Insyaallah.. ( cepat aminkan beramai2)

HOH!!

2010-08-05T02:14:00.003+08:00

it's been a while since i post anything up here..

been wanting to do something about it.. my mood to write was easily killed after several bloghopping activity..

people may use blog for several reason..some made it as their daily diary, for business, teaching , sharing thought and idea..ect2..

I made this one and my LJ solely because I love to write and I don't wanna forget my passion towards writing.. so..I don't really care who came visiting here..

WORDS.. be it written or spoken have very strong power.. I've said that once.

and it's true..

and some people have the power to get readers to agree with their every written words eventhough it is not the truth about the issue they were blogging on.

it irritate me when people who dont really know about an issue talks like they know everything about it and post something STUPID and argue with anybody whom disagree with them..

like on the issue on religion.. I DON't THINK IT IS SOMETHING YOU CAN JOKE ABOUT..

yet ,these brats take it lightly and play around with it.. macam orang x penah belajar agama.. !!

if the one who post it wasn't a Muslim and didn't learn anything about religion..it's forgivable kot..

tapi.. my fellow Malaysian.. Melayu lak tu.. dan aku rasa Islam la( tapi sgt bangga ngan brand Yahudi dia tu)

malu aku baca weh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aku pun x la baik sgt pun..

Kdg2 aku pun ada kemusykilan gak sal agama.. ada benda yang aku rasa x patut, atau aku terasa nak pertikaikan..tapi, instead of keep on confusing myself over thing like that.. better find the right answer to it.. perbetulkan apa yang dimusykilkan tu dgn orang berilmu agama.

Ni tak..dia dah terpesong ngan pemikiran dia ..nak tarik orang lain jugak sama sesat ngan dia..

Nauzubillah...

Bila orang lain sibuk ngan kempen utk memerangi keganasan yahudi.. dia dengan bangganya pulak memperekehkan usaha2 tu dan menyokong Yahudi..

Sedih aku bila aku baca dia punya penulisan.. mungkin x da sapa nak bimbing dia..

Ye..aku akui.. x baik berprasangka sgt kat agama lain..

tapi encik.. dalam Al-quran pun dah sebut.. Sirah nabi pun dah tertulis ttg agama yang satu tu..

penyokong dia membandingkan Gfnya yang beragama yahudi berbuat baik kpd haiwan ngan orang islam yang membunuh anjing yg kononnya dapat pahala( knp bandingkan ngan orang yang berdosa encik)

Encik..aku pun penah baca pengakuan sorang Yahudi ( yang kemudian masuk Islam) ni yang keras menentang keganasan Israel tu.. Sangat bertuah dia dpt hidayah yang ramai kita sendiri x dapat.

The thing is.. we are not fighting them as a person.. we are fighting THEM whom were tormenting our friends in Palestine.

Aku pun x kata suma yahudi tu jahat macam aku x kata suma org Islam tu baik..

kalau aku ada patient Yahudi pun aku x akan prejudice kat dia just sbb agama dia ( lainla kalau si PM israel tu-mau aku bagi propofol overdose - puas ati aku..)

tapi, issue di sini bila satu organisasi tu dah diketahui membiayai keganasan di Gaza.. membiayai kematian beribu orang Islam sendiri.. bolehkah kamu terus menyokong organisasi tu..?

kalau kamu tahu organisasi tu bagi duit kpd tentera utk bunuh family kamu/org yang kamu sayang.. tergamakkah kamu terus sokong organisasi tu..

UNLESS YOU ARE TRULY HEARTLESS OR TOO STUPID TO SEE THAT i think you will..macam yang kau sedang buat skrg

sbb kami yang kolot ni pikirkan hal tu.. kami benci Yahudi.. Tapi sbb kamu sgtla Cool abih, Moden la sgt kononnya.. Teruskanlah sokong Organisasi Yahudi kamu tu,teruslah berbangga ngan pencapaian Yahudi ( yang terang x da income pun kau jaja sana sini)

And I also cannot tolerate people who are not patriotic..

bukannya nak kau jadi ekstrem sgt cam si-tarian-bali ekstermist dulu tu yang sampai nak bt ganyang malaysia.. ( aku ganyang mulut tu kang baru tau)

tapi..have some respect for ur own country will ya!!!

and also please show some respect for those who have sacrifice for the country..

x tau la time kau belajar sejarah dulu kau tido ke tak..( maybe kau kena belajar balik ngan cikgu sejarah aku-cikgu Rosli- biar kena kaw2 ngan dia baru nak paham kot)

Lahir kat Malaysia, dari kecik sampai dah berjanggut pun x penah tinggalkan negara.. alih2 x abih2 kondem negara sendiri..

yang dah p luar negara pun ada juga la sekerat dua macam tu..buang duit rakyat je hantar kau ngaji jauh2..tp ko lupa daratan mcm tu skali.

the gov have their flaws..that is true..so, instead of complaining and spreading false rumors, why dont you do something about it?

be in the politic! Change the way things are now!

tapi kau mesti jawab"x minat politik" atau politik tu Kotor.. You dont want to do anything and you cant do anything better than the person you were condemning, yet still wanna act as you are sooooooooooooo big?

Haish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the answer i'm looking for all my life is this...

2010-06-19T14:56:00.003+08:00

just read this from Iluvislam... and these is the complete answer to my worries for earlier post.....

i kinda know all these... i guess i forgot that when i was the one who were dealing with crisis...

Disclaimer: the above content are not mine... they are from that site...

just wanna share it here so that i will never forget them..

Kita selalu bertanya dan al-Quran telah menjawabnya.

Kita bertanya: Kenapa aku diuji?

Quran menjawab, "Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan."Kami telah beriman, sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji orang-orang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar, dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang berdusta." (Surah al-Ankabut: 2-3)

Kita bertanya: Kenapa aku tidak dapat apa yang aku idam-idamkan?

Quran menjawab, "Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." (Surah al-Baqarah: 216)

Kita bertanya: Kenapa ujian seberat ini?

Quran menjawab, "Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya." (Surah al-Baqarah: 286)

Kita bertanya: Kenapa kita rasa kecewa?

Quran menjawab, "Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman."(Surah Ali Imran: 139)

Kita bertanya: Bagaimana harus aku menghadapinya?

Quran menjawab, "Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang, dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amat berat kecuali bagi orang-orang yang khusyuk." (Surah al-Baqarah: 45)

Kita bertanya: Kepada siapakah harus aku berharap?

Quran menjawab, "Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain daripadaNya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakal." (Surah at-Taubah: 129)

Kita bertanya: Apa yang aku dapat daripada semua ujian ini?

Quran menjawab, "Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli daripada orang-orang mukmin, diri dan harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka." (Surah at-Taubah: 111)

Kita berkata: Aku sedih!

Quran menjawab, "Dan demikianlah keadaan hari-hari (kejayaan dan kesedihan) Kami pergilirkan di antara manusia (supaya menjadi pengajaran)." (Surah Ali Imran: 140)

Kita berkata: Aku tak tahan!

Quran menjawab, "...dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dengan rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa daripada rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yang kafir."(Surah Yusuf: 87)

Kita berkata: Sampai bilakah aku akan merana begini?

Quran menjawab, "Kerana sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. Sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan." (Surah al-Insyirah: 5-6)

Orang yang paling kuat sebenarnya adalah orang yang sabar. Tanpa kesabaran yang ditunjangi akal waras dan iman kental, kita pasti tidak dapat bangkit apabila menerima pukulan takdir. Walhal sesuatu bala itu juga nikmat buat kita, hambaNya. Tegal di sebalik musibah yang menimpa, jarang sekali kita mengintai hikmahnya.

Ayat Seribu Dinar

"Barang siapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Dia akan mengadakan baginya jalan keluar. Dan memberinya rezeki dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangkanya. Dan barang siapa yang bertawakal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya Allah melaksanakan urusan yang dikehendakiNya. Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu." (Surah at-Talaq: 2-3)

Sumber: Dipetik daripada Curahan Cinta Niagara karya Maya Iris

hijau mata hitamku....

2010-06-15T00:41:00.004+08:00

i'll be facing my licensing exam in a week time....

urgh..............

and i don't really feel i am ready to face this...

just got the result of the final xm last week... well, i have to say that.. Iza, u suck la... camna la bleh jatuh pointer nih?... hurm...

but no regret!! i know i have give my best ... errr ( except the paper part kot... sapa suroh malas lagi..)

overall.. my CGPA bleh tahan la.. but it is below what i have expect... sedey2..

some other have raise in their CGPA.... and some even got beyond what other achieve..

then.... datangla si setan nak menghasut bagi jeles kat org len...

i hate myself when i began to compare myself to other... because I know i could never win this battle if i keep looking at myself in other people's reflection...

i know... things happen 4 a reason... but sometimes cant help but to ask things like.. ,"why didn't I got what she/he got when i have strive even harder than em?"

" this is not fair!!!!!! Why did she get everything that i dream of achieving while i don't? "

" why wasn't i gifted with genius/photographic mind like her? why do i have to "suffer" to get to the level she so easily obtain"

that kind of negative feeling ..

i hate comparison.. really hate it!!!

even when i was on the better site, i cant shake off feeling not so good when i know people were comparing me with so and so..

but at the same time, cant run from it.. kan?

from...

comparing class achievement during xm and test

to ..

comparing who got the highest and lowest(dapat teruk.. nak compare sapa lagi teruk..

dapat elok pun nak banding sapa plg elok... )

to..

who got job first

to ..

who got the best working place

to..

who got the largest salary..

ect2

x habis2 kan...

camtu.. bilala baru nak menang... asyik terasa inadequate compared to someone else.. and that lead to feeling demotivated.. sungguh demotivated..

this is pathetic!!!

padahalnya... kalo suma org dapat benda yang sama ja.. then.. everybody's fate is standardized ke? I have different goal than that person i envy.. but learning that she is getting to her goal even faster than me make me feel so left out..

feel like i haven't been moving from the same place while she is sooo going places with her shinning wings...

i feel like a loser....

This SUCK!!!!

KARMA

2010-06-12T22:38:00.005+08:00

ok... tetiba teringat kat cikgu Rosli bila sebut karma ni... sbb penah jumpa dalam buku sejarah yang dah tinggal sejarah sejak abis SPM..

tapi aku x terniat nak cakap sal cikgu Rosli yang dikhabarkan nak dapat menantu baru nanti.. Tahniah la cikgu.. wlaupun saya x dundng pun... ( dgn nada sedih) saya wish anak ckgu jodohnya panjang le hendaknya..

ok.. tinggalkan crita cikgu rosli tu..

skrg.. back to the main business..ecece..

sblm aku suka-suki je bg aku pya definisi karma ni.. aku google dulu la word ni... sblm memberi ajaran sesat lak kan...

kata encik wikipedia

"Karma' is an Indian religious concept in contradistinction to 'faith' espoused by Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam), which view all human dramas as the will of God as opposed to present - and past - life actions"

aku x yah translate la kan... sbb aku slalu tulis english korang bleh pun baca kan.. lagipun.. aku pun x paham sgt pekebendanya la dorang tulis tu.. hehe.* sambil buka kamus*

ok... wlau apapun yang encik wiki kate... aku nak mendifinisikan Karma ni macam What goes around come around la kan. kalo anda buat jahat kat orang.. korang inagt x tertangkap tu dah cukup hebat la.. tapi jangan ingat korang akan terlepas selamanya.. ada balasannya.. Bak kate pepatah," sepandai2 tupai melompat, akhirnya x berjaya masuk SUKMA jugak".. huh..macam pelik jeh.. apa korang rasa? aku rasa fresh oren (PERHATIAN: jgn guna peribahasa ni dalam karangan SPM korang..pihak kami x bertanggungjawab kalo anda kena mengulang subjek BM dalam SpM anda)

mak aku pulak kate," skrg kalo bt jahat, x yah tunggu nak kena time dah mati, kat dunia pun dah dapat dah" . x caye....? lantak r.. tapi aku percaya benda ni..

aku penah post something sal "kawan " yang bt benda salah, tapi nak jugak org puas ati ngan dia kan.. Ni kira macam lebey kurang la skrip asalnya.. just orang len la.. tapi kes lebih krg sama la. sesapa x puas ati aku ngunkit balik benda ni... bagitau siap2 .. sbb aku nak crita jugak.. Tis is my Blog kan.. and dat story involve me also.

so... dat someone membuat something yang mengsaikokan aku slama 3 minggu aku practikal kat satu wad ni.. Terasa teraniaya? mmg sgt2 trasa dianiaya, marah dan mcm nak nyumpah2 dia kalo aku jumpa dia..Because my team's reputation was torn bcos of her..( sila rujuk entry sblm ni yg menquote word"knapa grup kamu malas ?" ) Old story u may say... but please realize, bad rumors travel fast and they remains longer than any good news. Org bleh bagi seribu keburukan kita dan kosong kebaikan kita..bcause some pple like to think that they are better than other people... Thus there is a need to bring other down.

that person got off with her deed...and i got nothing to say about that.. Her luck kan.. but i think Tuhan tu sgt adil.. macam Karma.. wat u did, u get back. bukan nak bgembira atas kesedihan dia, aku pun bersimpati atas apa jd kat dia.. tapi deepdown.. aku terpikir satu word ja.. KARMA. she got her punishment 4 wat she did earlier n it was exactly wat she did to us. hurm... fullstop.

so, the point here is that, beringat la sblm nak aniaya orang.. Tuhan tu Maha Melihat dan Maha Mengetahui. Aku percaya, if u did good to other, other will also do good to you.. Mother theresa gives her life to people, she may not be rich with money from other, but she's rich with love. sampai skrg pun orang kenang dia.. and pray 4 her. u hurt other, u think other will love you kah? ( ditujukan kpd pn diktator.. ) . U say bad word to other, u think other will say good word about you? stop being delusional!!( macam sambungan emo last wek ja nih). OK... say watever, at least i know i'm not hypocrite and act as if I dont mind ( tune:beautiful monster-neyo).

oooh.. and when u talk abt other on ur blog... other people will also talk about u back...errrrr... WHOOPSIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

words...

2010-06-08T23:02:00.005+08:00

i have a lot in mind to nag about... but when i really have the time to write something, the mood just went passing by and i end up updating nothing until yesterday..

and today...

really should be reading books for the nursing board exam... but seriously.. got no mood to even open up the books..

especially today

ok... what was i thinking just now.. oh! right.. WORDS

I think... the most powerful thing in the world that everybody have is words...

it can either lift you up or bring you down at a short time..

dont you agree?

when someone says words like, " well done" or " good job!!", it really does boost up my spirit a lot.. eventhough the things that i did was just something small. It's like , "yoshi..i'm gonna do better next time so that i can feel this happy" sort of feeling. it motivate you to do better and make one feel like what they are doing, regardless of how big or small it is worth it and appreciated.

but words like, " kamu x layak jadi so and so" atau, " you have no integrity" ( just bcause of some very trivial thing for God sake..) , atau" kalau kamu rasa kamu x suka ngan apa yg saya bt, kamu bleh kluar dr sini" atau, " kenapa grup kamu ni macam malas eh" ( pdhal kamu x rehat lgsung pun dr wad time practical..siap blik lmbat lg) atau.." budak tu mmg slalu mcm tu.. lambat pickup"( when you know you have try ur best to do things up to their standard.. and yang lawaknya, org yang dok ngata tu bt keja x betul pun..tapi perasan dia tu sgt hebat sbb dia dah keja) really make me feel so low..frustrated and sad.

it's not like i don't accept criticism .. but dont do it to the point the person u are criticizing are disgraced. if you want to teach, cant u just words that don't downgrade other. sbg senior, nak ajar junior.. mestikah nak kena ckp kasar utk pastikan msg kamu tu smpai kat jr kamu..? atau staff nurse nak ajar student nurse, mestikah malukan sorang student yang bt salah dpn orng lain supaya ajaran tu sampai..?" adakah penggunaan word BODOH, X LAYAK JD NURSE, LEMBAP tu memastikan student tu paham apa yang korang ajar? hebat sangatkah kamu nak melabel org lain yang terang berusaha utk bt yang terbaik dia bleh buat sbg org yang "BODOH, MALAS, lembap ect" terutamanya bila kamu sendiri xla sesempurna mana. sempurna sgtkah kamu untuk mengadili orang lain... I mean, who are you to judge other... you are not even perfect like the people you are judging, what make you so special that you can just simply go and label other just like that !!!!!

aku mmg tgh emo ngan sorang makhluk Tuhan paling perasan, narcissistic dan paling annoying pernah aku jumpa.. Belajar je tinggi2, tapi bebalnya aku x tau nak cakap apa dah. my mum and dad are both teachers,and as far as i know and experience with my own beloved teachers in Asma, teacher are strict, but they are soft at the same time and also always motivating their student to reach their goal.. Tapi makhluk Tuhan yang dikatakan ni, sebaliknya pula... when she should be helping student to deal with their prob, she created the problem.. When she should be encouraging students to study and strive to get the best of their job, she comes and destroy everyone's happiness and motivation with her stinking mouth and instead of encouraging us to love the profession, she's making us feel like escaping it even before we even enter it.. WTF... I dont really know what is her function in this place...!!!!! but everywhere she go, i smell TROUBLE, added with I-think-i'm- the-greatest-person-on-earth-and-everyone-must-bow-to-me attitude..

( what.... she doesn't smile at me when she sees me 10 meter away... off with her head!!)

And she must have think that she is always right!!! she don't even know you, and yet, just because you once did something that she doesn't like( like not accepting her not-so-useful-idea for an activity, or forgot to smile at her when u meet her, or use the wrong word to address her when u meet her by accident or not ) .. you will forever get the name as " hard-to-deal" or "troubled" student. And whenever she sees you.. watchout!! you should know that she'll always keep an eye on you..in case you did something wrong again. And yes, u are forever her target for scolding eventhough u really didn't do anything wrong!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

to keep on looking for others fault

Live must have been really boring for her ...

i weep for her loneliness and inability to live with peace with everyone

she must have an allergy for affection... that why she seek respect so much ( duh.. respect should be earn.. not forced upon)

i hope you live happily being hated by the whole fac... ( i really cant believe that there is anyone who like her... honestly... kalo ada tu... kira ajaib la)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

do it anyway...

2010-06-08T00:17:00.006+08:00

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” – from Mother Teresa’s wall

chingu

2010-05-01T15:14:00.011+08:00

Dear BLOGGIE…

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More than I’m miss watching YB..( seriously!)I never know that I’ll miss you this much.. haha

So much have happen the last 3 weeks, so much to tell.. but I barely have time or mood to update anything .

My mum was hospitalized for her hypertension, Diabetes mellitus and Bell palsy. So I was home for the whole 2 week .. so..like usual la..I’m in Hiatus. She recovered quite well, although her facial paralysis wasn’t completely cured ( I think after a few therapies. She’ll be back to her usual self).For those who have been worrying about her and cheering me up.. Million thanks u guys !! m(_ _)m

( see... she is as healthy as ever )

There was this saying that you’ll know you true friend when you are in trouble/stress. I guess, I was blessed to have my friends support during my time of distress ne. Dealing with a sick relative was quite a challenge for some, including me. Being in a different picture, now as a patient’s family kinda teaches me a lot. Regardless of who she is, I think one really needs a support of someone in that kind of situation. You can’t help feeling hopeless when you know there isn’t anything much that you can do to make things better. You are anxious, distress and weary.. but there was no one there to calm you down except for yourself.

That was the time when a friend is most needed. It doesn’t need expensive gift or anything fancy ne. A simple word such as “ How are you feeling” or “ take care” already means a lot, and a simple act like to visit them in the ward can lighten up the patient and their family more than you think they would. My mum smile a lot and seem really happy that all of her colleagues and some students from school visit her at home after she was discharged. One of the teacher even volunteer to help her with the facial therapy everyday for 2 weeks. She came to our house every night to massage mum, buy her some complimentary medication, talk to her about her worries, and help her to go through her situation more than I can. And she did all of that for FREE! With all of them coming to visit her and all the care and love they show, that make me think.. “ human are so nice, ne” I couldn’t thank her enough! and I wish I can be that good/ helpful to my friends and make a positive different in their life like this teacher does. I mean, that was what friends are for right? They help each other, and they sincerely care for each other.

I believe everyone needs a friend, ne. But not everyone knows how to appreciate a good friend and be a good friend to other. If you want other to be good to you, you must first be good friend to other.. But some people just don’t get that. They want to have a good friend, but they themselves fail to be one for their friends. I used to hear someone claim that they are good friend to someone, but at the same time, they were bad mouthing each other behind each other’s back! It always make me think, “ how did they define friend as?” Is friend just someone you like to hang around with, or someone you can use to get what you want, someone whom you like because she has the look and styles that fits you, someone who you love to gossip with, someone whom will make you proud because of her fame, wealth or background? You hang out with her but you don’t really care about her .When she loses all that, do you simply just push her away? A friend is to be appreciated not to be used and throw away when you are done with them. How can you call yourself a friend, when you go behind her back saying bad thing about her, left her when she need you, and let her to continue doing mistake she is doing before as if it doesn’t matter.

A friend of mine, Q gets into some problem with another friend ,X because her “so-called best friend “ tell her that Q was not happy that she was doing something unprofessional during training. X was furious because of that( which I think wasn’t something she should be mad of..because it was truly her mistake. You can’t expect other to be happy for you when u did the wrong thing you know) When someone was mad at you for your wrong doing, it shows that they care. They do not want you to continue doing the same mistake. The people whom you regards as friend but just let you to repeat you mistakes and just put a blind eyes when you did something wrong was nowhere a friend. They are willing to see you fall instead of helping you up. If she is really a good friend as she claim she is, she wouldn’t tell X what Q said or what other were saying bad about X( because she wants to protect X from being sad ) she herself will advise X to change for good. But people always take it the other way around, they think that the one whom were changing them for good, constantly correcting and be angry when they make mistake were their enemy and the one who just let them do whatever they want are their friends.

In my opinion, being clear about things and being harsh at times when it's needed are counted as kindness. For example, if your friend does something wrong, I think defending her in a laid-back manner and letting things slide without paying too much attention is wrong. If you aren't honest with your thoughts then, even if it's acceptable in that situation, it will eventually hurt the other person. You don't necessarily have to pinpoint everything, but being bold enough to say things that are a little critical is true kindness. ( Yamapi)-credits: Seventeen_0409

Real friend will not let their friend to do the wrong thing because they would be worry if you get hurt, because she will also be hurt. Even if you think that she is nagging at you, or making you feel irritated. She did it for your own good. If someone was talking bad about you, they will fell as if they were the one being talked about. Not the one who were talking bad about you! When you cry, they will cry with you, when you were praised, they smiles with proud for you ( and not conspiring to bring you down and pull all attention to herself)they protect you. They accept you the way you are and only change you when you were wrong, they build you to be a better you and be with you through thick and thin. If the one you called friend are letting you keep on drowning in your mistakes, consider back why are being friend with her-because for me, it is not worth it-she doesn’t really give a damn about you.

For my dear mabudachi, thank you for being there when I need you guys. I know there’s a lot I have to improve, please continue to help me along the way. For always being my “ taeyang” , “shine a light “ along my way..Thank You. And along our way, If I fail to be a good friend to all of you.. “I’m so sorry.. bUt I love you.. “and that is not a Lie( gojitmal)

uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2010-04-03T17:25:00.003+08:00

looking forward to 9th April again after 2 years..( humming happily)
* smiling to self*
thanks for being the reason for me to smile despite all this cloudy cloud hanging around my heard right now..
its easier to breakdown now instead of smiling.. so , really.. arigato na!
( there I goes again talking something uncomprehensable again.haha)

( yes? NO?..... I know I'm in the mist of mental breakdown now.. OH MY RESEARCH REPORT!!!)

oh shit...!!!!!!

haven finish that report yet ..

so until then....

loveless..

2010-03-02T12:23:00.005+08:00

my frend wrote something like this on her status in FB

"Ward-a place of thousands life and their own little stories, only special people that He chosed to win the emotional battle! n i loose~"

i would be lying if i said that i never felt sad or angry or having other negative feeling when working in the ward. No matter how strong I tried to act in front of my patients, there are times when i felt like not wanting to be there- i wanna run away from facing the emotional battle in the ward.

Someone once told me not to get too emotionally attached with the patients that we take care of. But how could you not having the feeling of care and concern about these patient when you are working with them like... everyday until he/she was discharged or.. gone. For me, that is absolutely impossible, Zettai muri!!!. and because of that, from a professional part, i think i fail miserably,because i always sees my patients and their relatives as a family of mine. Sometimes i have to remind myself not to be like that, but I cant help it. I love the people I'm working for (the patients that is.. doctors were never our superior!!)

emotional breakdown.. I never though that i'll experience this so soon, ne. i thought that if i give my all to the job that i am doing, i'll do just fine.. SUPER FINE.. It did sometimes, but when things take a turn for worst at the patients.. I think it kill me as much as it kill the patient's real relatives.

There was this patient who have been admitted to the ward several time for her cancer treatment and pleural abscess. A petite chinese grandma whom were always smilling and i think she is soo cute. I like this patient soooooo much, like my own grandma, her relatives are also very friendly and nice.. they feel almost like a real family of mine in the ward. I have my motivation to work-remembering that i'll meet her again in the ward- Warm.. it's that kind of feeling. You see, there are types of people that makes you feel like wanting to be close to them once you know them and some other makes u feel like keeping a distance. in her case it's the first.

Well, she died last week- on my last day in the surgical ward- and also the last day of the chinese new year. It was a heartbreaking moment for me, the second LO after another Cancer patient 2 weeks before. She was on the DNR ( Do not resuscitate) list, so all that we do is let her die in piece. i was on the verge to cry, but if you yourself are crying- how can you calm the other relatives?. So, everything was kept lock inside...and it hurt- soo deeply its crushing my heart until now. Her smile, her small voice, the look on her confused face when she does understand the words i'm saying( she doesn't know Malay or english much).. I miss her so much.

my heart was telling me not to pay too much attention to my patients again next time.. LOVELESS... is this the only way out for me not to be in this kind of pain again and again?

problem...

2010-02-23T11:16:00.008+08:00

Trough out our lives, we can never run away from problems ne. in every stage of live that we went through, there gonna be something that makes us troubled. At that time, our problem seem so big- we can’t even think of anything else except it , but as we grow up, and look back at the problem.. it suddenly become small and trivial..because we already know how to overcome them.

I remember , when I was 9 years old, getting to school late was a major problem to me.( laugh) There was one time that I came in 20 minutes late to school , and I was so worry that I would be scolded- I decided to skip school that day. But then, I couldn’t get back home or I’ll get a double scolding from my parents and grandparents, so I went hiding in a building near to the school. That building was left unused for quite some times and at the back of it was thick bushes and some said that they saw snakes there sometimes. I was so scared of being scolded that being in that kind of place seem a lot safer than surrendering and went to school. I stayed there for 3 to 4 hours before I heard someone coming near to that place. Panicked and scared, I went even further to the bushes!Someone calling my name from afar, I knew that I have been discovered as I forgot to hide my bike. Then, tired of hiding and scared of the surrounding , I guess I let myself be discovered. Back at home, my grandparents hug me so tightly as if I had been missing for years! I was expected scolding from them but that thing were left unsaid until now. Later only I discovered, my class teacher ask my parents regarding me not coming to school , but they know that I went to school( halfway anyway) so they suspect something bad had happened. They kinda held a “Searching” operation to find me in the village.. thinking of that back, why did I make that kind of decision back then. How come I see that as one very big problem, I should just go to school, then I wouldn’t miss the lesson for that day and my grandparent don’t have to be so worried over me.

During form 2 and 3, my major trouble was the ERT class teacher- during her sewing class especially. I am really weak and untalented in sewing that every time I tried to use the machine, something bad would happen to it (cries). It will always break down when I use it-am I cursed or what? My teacher at that time is one fierce teacher with a sharp eyes for students who are not doing their work nicely..which would be..ahem-ME. I would be called many times-until the point that I hate to hear my own name. (laugh) The class was on Thursday, thus during that day, I would pretend to be sick and not going to school on that day. My dad didn’t always fall for that trick so I would have to face that teacher even if I cry in front of him. Now, I still cant say that I can sew, because I still suck at using the machine- but I can proudly say that I can cook better than most of my friends due to that teacher’s guidance. And if asked who was the teacher that I look up to in school, her name is always there- Pn Rohana Luxaman. For your stern teaching and care- thank you very much mem.

( sometimes when i feel so sad and feel that i just had enough of the day..looking at the beautiful sky calms me down ..It make me think,Ahhh my problems are so small ne yet i fuss over it)

Trouble isn’t always something bad ne. Maybe at that time, it seem so big, you would feel hopeless and anxiety. But as time passed, you will see the beauty the trouble brought you. We learn many thing from conflict, trouble and failure than we do when we are calm, winning or having success. What you need is patience and believe that things will be better with God’s willing. When I have problems, I always called my parents and friends for a chat- I wouldn’t tell them I was troubled, but just speaking to the people who are close to me make the burden lighter. Telling them my problem and let them worry make me feel even worst, but laughing with them ease my heart. If that doesn’t do the trick, I would stuff myself , read the Quran, or listen to music while I sleeps. I don’t want to think too much about my problem ne. Only thinking about them and regrets over things that have happened wouldn’t do anything to improve your condition right.

Remember I used to have great problem when I have a quarrel with my roommate. I was so stressed by it I cried every night thinking of how hurt I was during that time. We stops contacting each other or even speak to each other- we grew so distance that I almost forget that we used to be so close before. Then, a year passed, one day she called me and oddly the joyfull feeling comes back and as if nothing ever happen, we chat happy for nearly an hour.( laugh)later I realize, during those quiet time, I learn to be a friend who think about other’s feeling more, be fair in the way I treat others and open up my circle of friendship more towards those that I seldom talk to. In the end, I made more friends than I used to, and discover a new me in the way. And I’m glad that it doesn’t have to end between me and her because eventhough I said that I was mad at her, deep down.. I still care about her a lot.

( the best cure of a broken heart- he laughter and concern of a friends)

My dear friend fail her paper and I know that she was feeling despair and sad over that thing. Saying that people would think she is a stupid person over that failure. .i wish I could hug her and calm her down .i know that feeling. When you see how other are achieving better than you while they didn’t even try as hard as you would seem unfair isn’t it? But life has it’s own way of showing us it’s beauty ne. I believe thing happen for a reason and I hope she will be able to find a good reason behind what happened to her, I pray that this incident would make her an even wsiser and stronger person!

My other friend was also troubled over something bad that was spread behind by someone. Having that kind of problem when we only have another 3 month to graduate would be so stressing ne. for the people who likes to spread rumors.. you are so LOW!! People have to work hard to build the thing that they achieve today, and if you cant reach to the same level, look at your self, did you strive as hard, do you think you can handle the pressure if you are in her place, can you do it differently if you are in her place?so why must you ruin it for her just because of jealousy or hate/ grudge . if you have grudge, until when do you want to take till you are satisfy? dendam tak bawa ke mana la.

( my fav spot of all time to let go off my trouble- the beach.. being there itself was so uplifting, and serene)

Life is too short to be worrying about trivial problem and trouble..ne. I hope I’ll be able to fill my life with happiness and shines for the people whom I nurse. For my dear friends..thank you so much for being there for me. Lets us all continue to experience life happily.

someone special

2010-02-15T02:49:00.008+08:00

She is the first person i'll turn to when i was having difficulties to made up my mind, having worries over trivial things, get mad at my colleagues over our assignment, or just need someone to talk to. The one who make me the person i am today beside dad ( the positive one of course- i learn to be the nasty mean me by observing and adapting to my current surrounding ( laugh wickedly) . Yet , i can never tell her how much she meant to me verbally..

My mom is a teacher at the same school i was in during standard 1 and 2. At that time, she was known to be the one fierce teacher- u-dont-wanna-mess-with. So, at that time, i think it really would be a disadvantage for me if my fellow friend know who I was back then. So, i never call her " mak" at the school area or when my schoolmate are around. When other talk about her, i would just pretend and act casually , "oh.. it's that teacher... " and just listen. I still believe that some of my friends at that time really fall for that ( laugh) and just talk about her in front of me. maybe they are really lucky because i never really bother to remember what have been said about her at that time nor did i bother to go tell her about it. I guess i dont really care about that at that time or i just forget everything once i got home.. or because at home i always get into fight with my lil sis.. ( laugh)
( Candid 1-beleive me she didn't usually make faces like that..)

There was a phase of my life when I was having fight with her all the time. i think it's when I as in form 2 and 3.I felt that she never understand how i felt at that time, being in a school where everybody was doing exceeding well in their study, - i felt so left out and burned out. we dont really talk much at that time..At that time, everything my mom said just seemed annoying. She would ask," how was your day at school today?" or just some random thing and i would just ignore it or just simply answer Ok. My attitude was kind of like, "Shut up! Don't talk to me like you know me that well!" Parents were unbelievably irritating ( my lil thinking at that time.. gosh.. what a spoil brat i was back then).. Thinking of that now, i wonder, does unstable hormon made us like that?

I think i change a lot when i was away from home- getting to the matriculation. With nobody else to fully depend to when i was having trouble, ( i can never talk about my prob with my peers- dunno why) , i realize how much my mom mean to me. How much i miss her nagging, How much sacrifices she have made and how patience she is all this while to put up with my moody behavior. There was a time when my dad's car was hit by another car from behind when we are still inside the car, instead of worrying over her own condition,she concern more about me. During RAmadhan, eventhough she was tired from her work, she would rush to my place- to send food to break fast. I really have the best parent in the world dont I, ne?

Changing my old way to a new one was kinda weird,but, thinking too much about awkwardness wouldn't change anything. ne. So, on her birthday, mother days, any special days, I went all out- cooking, make cards and roses on each of those occasion... I think she was really happy, probably. My mom is like me in a way that we dont really show off how we feel in front of other, so she didn't made a big deal out of things like that. but, i notice she kept all of them in an album with date and years marked on them- haha.. maybe i'll be able to open a card gallery one day). After that, things have been very natural. We've been the best of friend ever since.

mom had me when she was already 28, it was something i admire of her. being able to keep up to the pressure of the norms( of getting marry early ) ,she still manages to be true to herself. because now, eventhough I know i have plans for my future that may exclude marriage, i cant help but feel pressured when one by one of my friends ties the knot. other than that is that she gives me the freedom to choose my own path of life. like when I wanted to enroll to ASMA, eventhough i think she would really want me to go to Sek Agama- to keep the legacy?, she let me choose my road. When i chooses nursing over teaching( still-legacy) and over other courses they knew would be more suitable for me..she didn't even once said words that discourage me into doing what i think best for me.
Maybe it's what a parent do, they support their child dream eventhough it wasn't always what they have in mind about their child. Sometimes.. I wonder, if me being a nurse is all that she ever want of me.. Is she proud with who I choose to be? Would she be prouder if I were something else? I really hope that they are proud of who i am. because my reasons for living are them, my friends and my dreams. i hope i'' be able to contribute something for them, instead of receiving, i want to start giving back to them.

when i was in school, I strive very hard in studies not just because i hate losing, but also because i want to see their proud face. i used to dream of giving the" excellent parent award" - an award the school give to parents of excellent student whom have work hard for their child. I have always want to let them sit at the seat for the award receiver since in Form 1, - yes i cried when i couldnt fulfill that wish. so , In University I still want them to sit somewhere higher than other parents- i wish them to see me graduating in first degree honor- but it seem that it wasn't as easy as i thought, and things could always go wrong the moment we least expect them. deshou. But that doesn't mean that i should stop trying and striving ne.

recently, mom's health wasn't at her best. Her hypertension sometimes strikes, she began to fall sick very easily. i wasn't able to be with her during that time ( and couldnt nurse her!) but all i could do is ask her how she was going each day. her hearing are failing-we have to shout make sure she hears us. it was unbearable for me to see her like that, and despite her condition, she still need to teach at school. Mothers indeed are so strong! they can do everything for a dear child, i hope i can give back to her.

In every cards that i made, i always wrote. " thanks for having me nd raising me up" but i can never say it out directly. But i do really hope that she understands that the words that i wrote are something that come directly from my heart. we says the word thanks, sorry and I love you thousand times in our life, but to me, saying that simple word directly to someone who trully means a lot and gives a lot to you was something hard to do. MOM, i am really glad that i'm your daughter... and please.. until i have the courage to say these words to you, i hope you can still hear me..

PRIMADONA..... ?

2010-02-02T00:43:00.006+08:00

OHOHOHO......... * Cough*...HOhO

i just realize today..........................
it's been exactly one year since i first know Ft Island.. haha...

and i just realize too..
it's my 20th time listening to this song today.....

anigoya.. anigoya!!!!
Oh my... getting crazy again am I?
*switch to primadona mode*....

Actually still haven't finish watching u r beautiful..
suddenly got sick of watching drama with cliche plot are like that.. ( ohhh there goes with a hell lot of ofter korean drama too)
- i hold on until episode 8 becouse of him only
he was soooooooooooooooooooo adorable and cute and goofy in that right????
kinda remind me of why i like Py in the first place..hehe ( a fetish?...hurmmmmmmm)
i hope he keep his An.JELL's hair... hehehe ( cant beleive i actually focus on him more than i focus at Geun Suk( the real reason watching the drama actually)

( ok...ok... I'm guilty as charged.. dont shoot!!!!haha)

I really really LOVE this part !!!!!!!!! and the whole JOlie thing was.... LOL

urmh..... why is Jae Jin seem waaaaaaay too cute to resist either?????

Oh crap.................
just what the hell am i doing here when i am supposed to get on with my study case...
HAISH...........................
I am one very distracted student.... huhu

a walk to remember..

2010-01-30T16:53:00.004+08:00

aku tau dalam LJ aku slalu je ngutuk course aku..
tapi, bukannya is bermaksud aku benci sgt pun berada di tempat ni...
tapi yang busuk ttp busuk.. aku x kan kata ia wangi..
tapi yang busuk dan buruk tu ada jugak yang baiknya.. jadi aku bertahan sbb yang baiknya la..
dan yang baik tu adalah mengenali kwn2 sekuliah aku yang gila2bahasa belaka, jumpa lecturer yang byk bagi semangat ( walau lagi ramai pun yang sbaliknya).. Dan menjadi sorang Nurse( in the making la)
thanks for making these 4 years a wonderful one.. ( walaupun ada sekeping dua manusia tu dah mencalarkan hati aku- jd cirrhosis da- dalam tempoh tu)

aku bt menda ni utk nursing seminar kitaorang dulu.. konon mcm intro sal cos ni..
tapi makin lama tgok.. ni la satu kisah pasal perjalanan kami sepanjang 4 thn ni..( wlaupun mungkin hanya kami yang tau apa tersirat di sbalik suma gmbar ni)
selepas tak cukup tido dalam 4 hari utk cari gmbar ngan sambung2 video.. ni la hasilnya..

just something for us to remember by.. This is our story..
the second chapter of our lives...

credits to :

da multimedia teamate- Nina
and everyone whom pic are used in the making of this short video
and also
Bond n Jin for the background songs V ( ^.^)V

of Love and TEARS

2010-01-23T01:28:00.002+08:00

its been quite a while since i've post anything..
well.. life is really bust these day- but i really love it .
maa.....it seem like i really have found what i love doing, hope this feeling will never fades away just because of some other health care personnel who like to find others fault to cover their own weakness* ahem*like the someone here* hides* WHO said That?

today, one of the patient pass away of Cancer.. lymphoma.
poor guy, he is hardly 40 yrs old. the whole health care team have been strugling hard to safe him yesterday.. but today, it was his time it seem.
i felt really sad for him..
had he been diagnosed earlier, this could have been avoided..
or if they have know that he couldn't be saved.. i think its better if he was allowed to spend his last time at home.. instead of dying surrounded by strangers like us.

the last 4 days- when he was admitted to the ward, he seem fine ( not as sick as he was yesterday) .. still can talk, smile .. still very lively..
he could have a more peaceful departure surrounded by his loves one.. listening to their voice, have them to hold his hand and whisper the" shahadah". but lives don't always goes as planned..

nobody would have thought that it would happens so fast.

last week also, a patient whom i cared passed away. i'm still sad about it, not because of the fact that he died, but the way he died.
he was send to the ward, bedridden, presented with pressure ulcer ( 2nd stage) on various part of his body that even looking at him make you feel his pain.
since the day he was send to the ward, i nver see any of his relatives comes to visit at all( but i dont know if they did at the time i wasn't there)
i noticed that sometimes there were tears falling from his eyes.. i think he wish his family was there..but now, i think it was because of other cause.

a week before he passed away, his condition improves, and with that i believe he will survived ( but somehow deep down, i found myself wishing that he would just go- o that he will no longer suffer the pain)

i dont know how he died precisely because i wasn't on duty that day.. Maybe it was better that i wasn't there, i might cry..
but the most shocking thing is that.. he is a muslim after all. .and we only know it after he pass away- his relative only reveal that later after everything was too late..
Why on earth did they do that???!!!!!!
They have all the time a month before to tell us that, but they didn't!
i hope his soul will rest in peace and may he be placed in the heaven.

" inna lillah hi wa inna ila hi ro ji un"

uh huh

2010-01-15T18:03:00.001+08:00

not feeling well...

i think i've got a fever today.. huhuhu..

so how?

he made my day.. everyday!!

2010-01-11T12:16:00.004+08:00

actually this CF was released since last month.. but i was too busy to care...
too much things to settle by then..

he is soOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo damn adorkable!!!!!!!
Wonder if is it even possible for me to fall in love with him more than i already did?

suddenly feel like wanting to have a pet dog..

I think i'm delirious ~~~

_______________________________________________________

yeay for Aizat for winning AJL last night..!!!
I kinda expect that song going to win.. his Voice are just soothing
and..and.. he kinda remind me of Bae.. hahaha ( typical me)
only that Aizat doesn't move like YoungBae did * cough* and a 6 pack* cough*

and my top 3 Fav artist winning1st, 2nd and 3rd place ..!!!!
Cograts YUna and Faizal Tahir!!!!!!
regardless of what other thinks.. i think they deserved to win..!!

wishing on a star

2010-01-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

i think my prayer have been answered.
everything went fine today.. in fact.. excellent!!!
thank God everything went fine..well.. at work at least..

today i worked in acute cubicle again..
as it is holiday today ( but of course nurses and doctors never experience a saturday and sunday break) .. the ward seem quite peaceful compared to yesterday.. ( ok..ok,i lied.. it was exactly the same like yesterday)
i think i got in the right mood today.. i didn't bother bother about what other have been able to do today that i still haven't got the chance to do yet( did i confuse u..haha)
It was tiring if u keep comparing your achievement with other.. but sometimes, u just cant help it right. ?
it was always the competition to be the best that motivate me to work harder each day.,but a some point, you forget what you always want, " to do your thing".
you seek recognition for being the one able to do many procedure.. one other can depend on - NEEDED..
but you forget to do " your thing"- nursing with compassion, touch with care, listen with empathy, and make them feel happy that there is someone who are caring for them like a family..
CAught in the middle of a competition.Everything now seem just as a JOB..you came to the ward, check on the patient, give medicine, keep his hygiene, clean their wound, but you never know who you are caring, what was they feeling being at the ward alone- when everyone surrounds them have their family visiting, you only knew their physical medical diagnosis.. never their emotional diagnosis.

before this, i never really cared about being at the top of the class, never really cared if someone think that i'm stupid for spending longer time trying to do a work that other can just do a slipshot, never cared if someone think i'm pretending to be hardworking when i spend time working on a patient study case..
I dont know where and when, i change into a robot..
i did help a lot in the ward.. but i never feel happyand contended like i used to everytime i help the patients. I dont know them. they are just "works that i have to finish" instead of" a person/family member i want to care"

Did i decided to be a nurse so that i can be the one needed in case of medical emergency.. Yes.. but did i want to be a highly capable nurse who only knew to do her work and neglect other thing about the patient which has nothing to do with their medical diagnosis? NO.
I always dream of being a nurse who can be trusted to work with, confident, capable and the one that was close to the patient heart, the one who take care of a patient emotional and physical need. All this while, i was so buzy catching up with other, i forgot who i really want to be..
i forgot ME!!
i forgot my own true desire..
i forgot to build myself to be the one that i always wanted to be.

I REALLY HOPE TO BE ONE EXCELLENT NURSE..

i really do!!

a whole new world..

2010-01-08T13:08:00.002+08:00

my preceptorship officially starts last Tuesday..
scary.. when thinking about it.. in just a few month i'll be changing from the title student to a fully working adult..
not that i never think of it.. but time just seem to flew so fast these 4 years.
in the next 6month.. everyone will walk on our different way.. wonder if there will be any chance that we'll meet each other again. i think i wanna cry now.. tsk..tsk..

since this i my first time in Sg Buloh hospital. i think i still havent fully able to adapt to the new situation.. the first 3 day were like .. uhhhh.. i think i'll give myself a C for the overall performance..crap..crap..
lets just hope everytime went fine and i'll be able to perform well tomorrow.

lots of things happened in the last 3 days..somebody broke into our house and stole 3 laptops and 2 handsets.. the robber HAD been caught but ... he was released ( or so the police said he escaped -but i think he was released instead of escaped) ON THE VERY SAME DAY!!!
things were geting more complicated for us.. my friends who lost their laptops is totally devastated.. all of their research work was stored in their laptops.. now it seem like they have to start all over again..
and the fact that the robber got away.. we haven't been able to sleep at night or go anywhere.. fearing that he might break in again..
HAISH!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was raining outside.. it was so mellow here that even listening to TAeyang and Thelma's " falling in love" song make me weep for no reasons..

I THINK i'm Going crazy...

i dont understand

2009-12-11T03:39:00.003+08:00

soooo the result was out today as rumored....
dum.. dii..dum...

i told myself not to put such high hopes on this one as u know... when did i really study this semester? hurm.. i believe that is only about 3 hours on the day before the exam. so basically padan muka la if i didn't get what i want..

but..

but...

i got what i wanted... only that .. now i kinda wish i had it better...
haish.. i know i should be grateful... but somehow..somewhere deep inside..
i can't feel the joy of getting the result as i should.
i hate this.. why do i have to rain on my own parade like this..

__________________________________________________________

JUST A REMINDER TO MYSELF:

every time u dream of other people's dream.. u take away the time to build yours..

so... stop all this dissatisfaction OK... Things happens 4 a reason.

___________________________________________________________

kenapakah sedih sangat niiii?

REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND LA.

i'm thinking......

2009-12-06T13:48:00.003+08:00

i thinking.......

urmh..............

uhhhhhhhhhhhh........

i wanna go to NE YO's KL concert sooooooooooooooooooooo badly........

it's NE YO's!!!!!! and i've been waiting 4 this like 4 ages!! ( hyperbola sket)

but... damn.. got practical and i'm practically broke before my loan is added next sem

sad sad...

must find a way and money.. FAST!

i WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

minda x center

2009-12-03T18:58:00.000+08:00

dub..dub..dub.....

a little bird tell me that this semester's result wil be out next week..
*gulp*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm soooooo freaking out !!!!

Go Go Flower Ranger's !!!

2009-12-01T21:55:00.003+08:00

aku sbnarnya sgtlaaaaa malas sangat nak menghupdate blog ni dalam masa terdekat ni sbb praktikal dah stat balik plus aku kena paksa siapkan bahan multimedia utk conference kitaorang minggu ni jugak.. So kononnya macam aku sgt bz la tu padahal aku lebih fokus dan komited melayan honki dalam " you are beautiful aka A.N. JELL" dari beberapa minggu lepas lagi. (padahal ketua program nak harini tuh.. fuh~~ fuh~~ gile OTAI)

Skrg musim hujan pulak.. FUH~~ kalo bole tido sampai petang , percayalah, ada ja student puncak alam ni yang akan berbuat demikian.. sampai ada la yang kena tinggal bas nak gi praktikal.. isk3 dah tau kn p wad blik..nak tido tu agak2 r beb..Bukan aku aaaa.. saya kan pelajar cemerlang..hikhik

still lagi malas..tapi sbb terasa macam x chill kalo aku x cerita benda ni.. sblm ia jadi basi dan dicemari e-coli yang banyak sampai menyebabkan terjadinya AGE ( Acute gastro enteritis) di kalangan yang terlibat.. maka aku mengagahkan diri nak menaip ni.

Bulan lepas, 21 Ogos kitaorang ada satu dinner persatuan kat INTEKMA, Shah alam. Konon2 bertema la.. " garden dinner". konon nak berfesyen la..Check duit kat ATM.. cisss cukup2 buat beli megi asam laksa seminggu dua ja..au rasa kalo mesin tu bleh gelak.. dah lama dia gelak tergolek2 kat situ bila keluarkan slip baki aku.. cheese sungguh. kensel beli baju ropol2 ala2 langsir umah datok bandar aloq staq. last2 pakai jugak baju raya.. alaaaa ada bunga jugak kan..

perasaan sebal sbb x berjaya mencari tukang sponsor utk baju baru terubat bila ada ramai lagi orang senasib dalam hal ehwal kewangan di akhir semester turut memilih utk pakai baju raya..

ahli2 flower rangers sebelum bertukar, dari kiri : ranger's merah( ikin), rangers oren ( cikizzacute), pink ranger ( nina), ermmm ranger itam putih ( dila), ranger kuning-putih-koko(gile jawatan btul nih)-ema, dan ranger itam-putih jugak (nisa)

berbekalkan semangat dan ingatan yang kuat terhadap hidangan2 yang dijanjikan pada hari tu ..ada sate beb.. sate itu adalah komoditi makanan rare kat puncak alam tau.. sesemester kat sini..kau nampak sate, kau mesti pandang ayam Hot n spicy KFC sebelah mate je dah. tambah lagi dah kena dipaksa bayar utk dinner tu dan hakikat yang diri dah terasa muak gile mengadap nasi goreng ikan masin mak cik cafe yang terasa dah semakin tak masin tu.. ( mak cik buat low salt diet ke cik?) kami semua meninggalkan aktiviti harian mengadap ulangan Nur kasih di intenet ke Shah Alam

matahari dah nak masuk tido. baru bergegas nak bersiap2. 8 orang nak berebut 1 toilet.. bayang la berapa lama nak bersiap2 tu. jamuan katanya stat kul 8.. rilex lagi kul 6.30 ptg..suma x mau bersiap2 awai2, takut makeup rosak sbb peluh. waktu magrib nak nak masuk, baru terkocoh2 calit mekap, calit la apa yang patut.. asl x nampak cam opera cina anak bukit dah.. tapi kalo ko terlebih makeup pun sapa nak heran..ntah2 kau boleh dapat "flower of the night" hapa.. hikhik. Waktu ni, yang x penah2 bermakeup atau x tau nak pakai makeup pun buat2 la muka kesian kat housemate len nak mintak pinjam set MAC baru dia.. nasib baik dapat..hahaha

sampai di INTEKMA kul 8.10 ptg.. korang buat muka innoncent..macam x kn ada kat sana kul brapa. majlis x mula lagi. alaaa , biasa la janji Melayu.. Duduk rilex2 kat luar dulu sambil dok pasang mata tengok baju sapa paling glam..pastu dok gelak2 bila tengok fesyen pelik2 junior. berfoto gedik beberapa puluh snap ntah..yang pasti, tanda peace mesti ada( x da gaya len).. baru chill kononnya.bila masuk dewan..dapat tau orang separate kitaorang ngan junior.. Ape nerake dorang neh.. Nampaknya Pn diktator tu buat perangai lagi la.. wattheheng la camni. aku balik kang.. tapi ingat balik, padan muka aku camtu..abih duit makan aku 2 minggu kat situ ja.. nak ngadap megi lagi.. OH TIDAK!!

( penat kitaorang bagi sama aksessori tau.. yang kat tangan tu.. last2 kn dok asing2.. mana bleh, camna nak braksi camtu)

hati dah panas. marah dah berkepuk2 dah..tunggu asap kuar je nih. tapi muka kena manis jugak, baru saham naik.. silap2 ada orang magazine dtg ka, x pun orang surat khabar dtg ka, mana tauboleh jadi cover girl ke.. ( dreamy mode). suma orang pun x puas ati.. last2, setelah buat perundingan sulit ngan junior len, dapat jugak berkumpul satu meja kitaorang 8 orang. lantak la Dr diktator, kitaorang dah bosan diarah bt benda x berfaedah ni. Kalo nak bt meja asing2 tu, nak buat sesi suai kenai, x de maknanya, bukan minggu orientasi pun.. lagipun aku dah tetiap tahun jadi feci bdk junior dah kenai pun. Dont do thing as u please la.

pas bejaya menghasut si junior ubah tempat, keadaan jadi tenang r balik.. biasa la, dah dapat apa yang nak.. tenang r, ko nak bikin riot lagi buat pa kan.

kadang2 menjadi sorang narcissistic itu x bermakna anda menpunyai penyakit mental yang serius. ( gambar hiasan semata2)

( single but x semestinya available. sapa2 nak no dorang YM aku.. muahahaha..)

( jeng3.. aku sgt x suka detik ni.kenapakah ni..adakah aku berjaya mendapat princess/flower of the night?...nantikan jawapannya)

( pertandingan teka tangan sapa paling gemuk?)

( persembahan oleh dak2 junior- pakai buang-stacy. Gile hebat r dorang.. x penat2 menari.. aku nak join dah baju x seswai plak..( alasan2))

( persembahan tarian Balqis? ke lagu hapa ntah- aku kan x kacip sgt ngan lagu mlayu neh.. )

jawapan bagi soalan tadi...bukan nak puji diri sendiri.. tapi kepada seseorang yang ngata aku x usaha, (mcm Dr dictator and Nurse I-THINK-i'm-PERFECT) and dun have the right attitude to learn tuuu.. Aku sedang terasa nak tayang besar2 slip xm au kat dia.. Dun u dare insult me when u dont even noe me.. tapi sbb aku kan baik kan, aku x la malukan kamu mcm kamu malukan aku.. i noe i'm better than u.

( eksited jumpa datin Norjuma, si nina sempat bagitau reporter Kosmo suruh dtg ..hahaha.. jangan mara r kak eja.. )

kesimpulannya:
-last2 x da sate pun.. aku TERTIPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. aku tertedaya.. CCHAISSSSSS!
- ntah kenapa, aku berasa x best pun dapat adiah tu.. sbb tgn yang memberi tu mulutnya dok memperli aku.. ntah hapa2 la)
-jadi orang yang bawak nkamera tu sangatla x best bcos, di akhirnya gambar ko ada sektul dua je dalam kamera tu.. x puas ati tul!!

ok.. stakat ni je akunak membebelk, megiku dah kembang dan ada ciri2 nak ditakabihkan macam biasa, Slamat malam puncak alam. moga2 keja multimedia aku siap jua minggu ni.. *sigh*

______________________________________________________________

kepada cik Aliaa.. Slamat Hari Lahir !!!! Cheese kek satu! yang secret recepi tau..hahaha

i'm soooo not happy!!!

2009-11-26T07:44:00.003+08:00

shock!
hurt!!
dismayed!!
and most of all I"M HURT AND I"M HEART BROKEN!!

i totally feel like a doormat today.. Step upon, ignored and ridiculed..

i'm sorry that i am born with these weaknesses.. but i'm working hard to overcome this..
and u said that i didn't put any effort to do anything?"
dont..please don't EVER SAY THAT!!
you've just kill me with those words..

yes i'm not really that fit to be working with you.. but do u have to do that...
yes i'm stupid, clumsy and all.. but dont say things as if i didn't give enough effort to learn.. dont..

u'd better stab me than say those thing.. it's less painful than bearing the weight of your words..

gosh.. i'm so depress!!

hora yeah!!

2009-11-17T23:45:00.008+08:00

the best post exam get away ever!!!

i know i have my fun for the week.. ( did u guys?)
our last paper for the semester ended last friday (13th.. same date bae releases his "wedding dress" song..yay.. more reason to celebrate)
and despises the fact that i spend most of the study week finishing up my clinical portfolio.. gladly i think i did very well back then.

oh yeah.. where were i..

for those who have been reading this rambling blog of mine.. u would know that i'm a fan of the Fly Fm's Pagi show.( ask nisa.. tetiap pagi mesti dok dengar aku gelak sorang2 dlm keadaan separuh tido dari kul 5pg smpai 9)
so.. it's their 4th anniversary last saturday... and what kind of fan would that made me if i didn't go kan..
dragging nina to go wit me.. and after losing our way to One Utama for an hour ( from PJ to damansara utama and back to PJ.. Haish..)
we've made it to OU after some painstaking effort to find parking lot.

( muka stress sbb sesat)

i dont really know when did the "party" really started.. but the night concert starts at 8.
it was already raining a bit when it started, make me wonder why everytime i went to a concert, it rains? ( Avril's concert also the same.. ujan..macam nakbagitau.. balik la woi!!)
the crowd rocks!! and the sound system just superb ( memangla.. dah duduk pun dkt2 ngan speaker dia.. maunya x superb)

frankly speaking, i hardly know any of the artists featured.. memangla kan.. lainla kalo ko bagi wonder girls ke. ss501 ke, 2pm ke, big bang ke.. aku conform akan beria-ia nakberhimpit di tengah2 crowd tu..haha. one thing 4 sure.. i only aim to take picture there..heh

( konsert konsert jugak..makan tu xleh tinggal punya.. kena kumpul tnaga beb..)

(the pagi show DJ.. (^.^)

( nadia, jules and hunny madu)

( waktu ni si Dj tu suruh kitaorang teka who's the next act 2 be on stage.. yang si mamat kat blkg aku asyik dok jerit, " rabbani.. Hijjaz" hahaha gila tul la )

finding for the day:

1.i think i'm in love with Yuna's voice sooooo very much.. yes i know the "dan sebenarnya" song.. and i dont quite like it.. but i'm totall swept away when she sang " deeper conversation". LOVE it so much!! and the song have been humming in my head since then.. hurm.. is it time for me to get back to the local music?

( ntah sapa la tuan empunya payung gerai tu.. aku sangat bengang la ngan manusia terbabit.. orang dtg bkn nak payung woi...agak2 r nak bwak payung tu)

( no superman?.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

2. Faizal tahir rocks dude!!. I always love his performance but seeing it live, it's even better. it's funny when he said, " i wiill not take off my shirt". during his performance.. haha.. bet he still remember the consequences of doin that until now.. ( but.. really, small matter la sal bkk baju tu.. * cough* unless it bae* cough* ( nosebleeds). he starts off with "bencinta", Oh boy.. u should seen how happy Nina and the Kueja was when he sang that.. Exsited abih.. then followed by 3 Mj's songs.. Then i'm the one who gets excited. haha.. Love the time when he and the other guitarists plays' to "beat it", " the guy in the mirror" and "who's bad."... they were totally awesome!!!!

3. i never knew much about 'disagree 'but i kinda know some of their song.. They were the first to start. love their opening where they mix the traditional malay's music with their song.. it really works!! and i must say.. i think i... l.. liike em too.

4. it was raining even heavier when "estranged " perform..I felt bad for them that most of the crowd ran off for shelter.. even us.. hehehe.. Nina wants to stay for bunkface performance.. but the rains gets heavier, plus, it is already 11 at that time. imagine, getting from damansara to puncak alam took almost 2 hour.. kalo x blik jugak.. nak kena tahan ngan pak cik guard?

( lali..lali.. ujan suda tulun..)

5. our plan to get out early so as not too get into traffic jam was totally wrong..!!!! WRONG!!!! We spend 1 hour and a half just trying to get out of the parking lot. weouh!! and what more frustrating than having to listen to bunkface in the car.. in the car.. NOOOOO.. i felt like crying out loud, we are still in the parking lot, " silly lilly and " situasi" was on.. the car wasn't moving a bit, and later they have firework.. AND WE ARE STILL IN THE PARKING LOT!! damn! i knew I should have stay until the end.. WE reach home at 1am. (T.T)

moral of the day:

kalo nak pegi memana tu.. niat musti baik.. kalo x, sesat r nanti.. betul x tipu.. Pegi semayang dulu, jngn nak tannguh smpai time dah sampai kat destinasi. Ini kisah sebenar ni...

kalo kena ujan. balik trus cpt2 g mandi.. kan nina kan.. Tu la.. orang dah pesan.. degil lagi. kan dah demam.

walaupun anda berpikir macam anda dah sangat pandai nak kuar cepat2 utk elak jam.. anda patut tau.. ada ramai lagi manusia pun ingat dorang je pikir keluar awal bleh elak jem.. jd, x da maknanya pemikiran tu sbb anda tersangkut dlm jem jugak akhirnya.

dan tolong jangan curi payung kedai mamak di tempat makan berhampiran anda dan bawak ia ke konsert terbuka macam ni.. anda menpunyai risiko tinggi untuk dibaling kasut atau slipar buruk oleh orang belakang anda yang bengang sbb x nampak pentas sbb anda.

kalo nakberebut hadiah yang dibaling daripentas.. jangan berangan la kalo anda berada 100 kaki dari pentas tu.. walaupn anda lompat inggi manapun, tangan anda ttp ketot untuk mencapai hadiah yang dibaling tu.. baik duduk diam2 kat blkg sudah.

apa2 pun terima kasih kpada penaja kenderaan pada haritu.. Cik nina.. Kamsahamida.. moga2 anda cpt sembuh demam. dan jugak kepada cik ilah, kueja, ema an dila sbb menyokong usaha nak meronggeng pada malam tu."jaamu dikenang sampai konsert sterusnya" chewah.. heh

MAJI DE?

2009-11-04T19:20:00.004+08:00

Malaysia to adopt Japanese as the third language..

MAJI DE? aku macam nak tergelak pun ada bila baca berita ni semalam..
sbb dulu ni bila aku ngan Hazrina dok pakat2 belajar cakap jepun dalam kelas time form 3 ada je mata2 tengok kitaorang macam la kami ni alien.

pastu bila aku dengar lagu jepun je, ada je orangs sibuk2 tanya.. " korang dengar ni paham ke? " x pun mesti buat muka macam aku pelik.. Ye.. aku tersangat benci orang camni.. yang x leh trima org len yang x sama ngan dia.. " music is universal,the language of music is global.." x payah nak paham pun liriknya nak tau tu lagu sedih ke x.

tup2 pas kuar sekolah... orang2 yang menjakikan aku tu tetiba lak jadi peminat lagu2 jepun ni.. Teringin ja hati ni nak gelak kuat2 kat dorang tu..macam nak rewind balik je apa yang dorang dok kata tu. . tapi x sampai ati la..

pastu bila aku dah beralih ke bhasa len.. perkara sama jadi.. tapi pastu bila tetiba K-POP jadi trend..mereka2 tetiba mendeclare diri sbg pengikut K-POP lak.. mmg cheeese tul la golongan ni... i dun care bout the trend, i just do what i like and apparently, that thing become the trend soon after some time.. So don't judge me unless u r sure that u will not do the same thing as i did.. Sbb aku terasa macam nak tunjal je kepala dia pastu.

so pasni.. makin ramai r orang tau bahasa jepun kan.. dan dalam brita tu pun kata yang dorang akan mintak student malaysia yang balik dari studi kat jepun jadi tenaga pengajar bahasa tu..
Hehe.. IDA..... dah ada la peluang keja kamu ni.. tapi x leh goyang kaki sgt la.. haha

Sayangnya aku dah kuar sekolah dah.. Ruginya x leh blajar Bhs jepun macam budak2 ni dapat. Nak masuk Asma balik la.. lagipun dok U ni pun dah jadi macam sekolah jugak.. x terasa budaya Universiti langsung bila kena ngan org2 yang x paham sistem neh ( sori.. aku emo lagi sebenarnya)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on the sunny side !!!

HAppy 22th CHOI SEUNG HYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got my Enterpreneurship paper today.. but i cant help grinning like an idiot in the exam hall remembering that today is his birthday..

( who said that u can't speak with your eyes?..LOL)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope to see more of your acting and rapping in the future.. ( ^.^)

( me at random.. waiting for inspiration to finish up my portfolio.. but still no idea come to mind..sooo.. this is what i do instead.. Yeay.. the first drawing for this semester..haha..it seem i have loose some skill already.. )

hurm.. kenapa stiap kali aku tulis sal Big bang mesti dalam English.. pelik2..

I dont care.e.e.e

2009-11-04T19:13:00.002+08:00

i kinda anticipate her reaction..
yes i know it's my fault in the beginning.. but it was theirs too for doing everything at the last minute..
hiding behind her work..but still her words managed to kill me like always..
couldn't meet her eye..
couldn't even say anything..

i know u hate me..
don't worry I dont mind that at all
our feeling its mutual..

i know u r gonna act like that..
but why am I still emotional over the whole thing
and the truth is I DONT CARE..ee..ee.ee

terkenang semasa dulu..

2009-11-03T14:20:00.005+08:00

( x da kaitan.. tapi saja nak bubuh jugak..=P)

korang pernah perasan x kat belakang plastik makanan macam keropok, coklat, ada maklumat sal zat makanan ngan kandungan makanan tu.( x perasan?... cepat pi check.. hapa la, makan lahap tul, ntah mkan ngan plastik dia skali hapa..)

Dulu2 time aku budak2 naif dan suci murni tanpa sebarang MSG, ak ngan adik2 aku slalu la beli chekedies neh.. slalu senyap2 ja la. ck timah x bagi makan punya. pastu tetiap kali makan mesti periksa dulu plastik mkanan tu.. tengok ada tulisan jawi ke tak kat plastik tu.. Dulu2 sblm blajar jawi, kami ingat semua yang bertulisan alif, ba, ta tu tu suma tulisan arab.. dalam kata len, doa la. pastu kalo mkanan tu ada tulisan jawi tu, baru kitaorng baca doa.kalo x da, baham camtu ja.pastu x leh buat main2 ngan plastik tu, berdosa oo kalo makan x abih,pastu apa lagi ntah..macam2 rule yang entah dari mana aku dapat pastu aku turunkan kat adik aku 2 eko tu.. haha. skrg bila tengok je plastik makanan aku mesti teringat benda tu. tai nasib baik la.. at least aku blajar r baca doa dulu sblm makan.

tapi sal hal tulisan jawi ni x beh lagi.. pada era yang sama, kalo tengok cerita hindustan, kadang2 ada dia tulis nama pelakon tu dalam tulisan arab. sma gak konsepnya bagi aku time tu.. " OOOO ada tulisan arab la.. kena baca do baru boleh tenggok cerita ni. "boleh kata tetiap cerita yang ada tulisan jawi je aku wajib baca doa.. doa apa..hentam jelah.. kdg2 doa tido, doa masuk toilet pun jadi jugak.asal baca doa dah.. Bila dipikir balik, sapa yang bagi ajaran sesat tu kat aku hah.. cepat ngaku!!

Bila baca doa tu pulak, tangan mesti rapat2, x leh tadah tangan kanan-kiri terbuka cam cara orang laki tadah tangan time doa..nanti pahala tu jatuh kat lantai. yang lawaknya, boleh pulak main aku cedok pahala hang -hang cedok pahala aku.. ( bt macam cedok pasir dari tangan orang len).. adeh.. bodo la sangat time tu.. aku mmg ingat pahala tu jatuh macam fairy dust(kaler keemasan dan shinning) pastu mmg kepit tangan kuat2 r time doa dan kawal gila2 pnya x bagi sepupu aku cedok pahala aku tu.. hahahah

aku tak tu la orang len, tapi satu lagi kesesatan aku time jahiliah tu... slalu ja kalo jaga tempat duduk, x mau bagi orang len duduk, mesti jerit kuat2 " ALIFF LAM LAM HA.. SAPA DUDUK BERDOSA" dah tu buat2 macam tulis kat kerusi tu. pastu yang lawaknya orang len pun x duduk r.. KDG2 kalo brebut benda2 len pun guna taktik sama.. aku ingat tradisi tu dah x da. tapi bila aku balik umah mak sedara aku, anak2 sedara aku buat benda yang sama.. EHHHH .. sapa dalangnya benda neh sbnarnya?

misteri ini terus kekal sbg misteri......

aku sbnarnya x a benda nak dicakap sangat pun.. tapi sbb nak memujuk ati dari mentensenkan diri terlebih sbb x bleh bkk fesbuk.. Intenet yang jeles ngan aku neh.. (jahaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttt punya intenet!!)nyampah aku..

esok 1st paper.. Hwaiting!!!
oh.. dan wish me luck 4 all paper!!!!

P/s: kat kedah skrg suma billboard kena tulis jawi, bayangkan kalo aku still lagi terasa macam nak kena baca doa sebaik saja nampak benda bertulisan jawi.. camna la agaknya...hahaha

can you hear my voice?

2009-11-02T00:05:00.003+08:00

i tried very hard not to post anything about BB for a while..
VERY HARD!!!
i was thinking to just ignore the net just to resist the urge to write about them.. ( seriously)

but the fangirl in me just couldn't resist the temptation to just blog about them..
so... here goes.. ( switch to full vipcologist maniac mood)

i have been listening and watching the " let me hear your voice " Mv repeatedly since it was released.
WHOA!!! the boys are getting better and better.. ( and my Bae nonetheless)
I personally think this song is their best Japanese song and also one of the best song they have recorded.. 5 star!!!!
I'M SO LOVIN IT!!

Am i being a little overly obsess when i say that YB's voice and Daesung's voice are the most appealing voices in this song.. ( i'm not thaaaaaaaaaaaaat obsess u know..just a tiny winy addicted to this 1 guy at the moment)

err..ok.. i admit.. i have a BAEHOOVEN VIRUS. I got stuck to Bae's voice everytime he sings and make me having the urge to repeat his part in the song.. It's crazy.. i know..

YB look super fine in the MV( as he always is) but damn..Top's cool-hot look caught most of my attention of Bae in the MV- so much for a die hard fan eh?( i promise next time i'll only look at you..LoL) love TOP's rapping part -wee.. another hand gesture to remember him by after the famous finger pointing (been secretly practicing doin that since yesterday until my sister caught me doing that..(!!!O) LOL

all in all... i'm so glad that they are back together again.. and Dae.. Fyuh.. That the same DAESUNG!!!Thank to the gift of perfectly trained doctors that treat him( and not forgetting the nurses of course.. Gee.. i wish i can be on the treatment team also..heh)

Great piece of work!!
i know u guys will not let us down!!!!

p/s : it's November already.. counting days for " wedding Dress" to be released!! YG is frying my mind with too much of him lately.. I cant think right right now..

hurm... i know i should return to Entrepreneurship note now..

wait....

HAvent I told u.. " CHUAYO!!!!!"

now...can u hear my Voice ?

mari ber"studor"

2009-11-01T23:53:00.004+08:00

kembali ke Puncak Alam slepas seminggu mengabihkan Studi week ber"studor"( gabungan studi dan tidur- satu petua yang mujarab..percayalah.. nak testimoni? tgk je cik Nisa.. pengasas ajaran ni..hehehe) dan Stupor time ngadap buku nursing dan Enterpreneurship..
lantas en usup dan pn timahterpaksa mengambil langkah drastik memaksa aku balik ke sini utk studi.. waaaa.......... sedih.. kena halau balik sini.. dan keadaan aku x berubah pun..
studi? x da mood la.. heh.
borang ethical consideration utk research sem dpn yang menjerit2 nak diisi pun malas nak dibelek..
MALASNYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chek nak dok kat umah jaaaaaaaa...huhuhu..

post mortem hari raya..

2009-10-23T13:52:00.003+08:00

A reflective writing.. heh

kamu punya cuti start 17hb, tapi kamu dan rakan2 sekelas kamu bersubahat menghasut En Mut untuk kansel 2 kelas beliau pada minggu tu supaya kamu bleh balik pada 14 hb. Berani giler korang nak mintak kelas ENT kansel ngan En Mut yang garang tu. Kamu tak kisah sbenarnya bila cuti.. sbb kamu dah beli tiket balik raya sebulan sblm tu.. tapi kamu nak jugak kelas ENT kansel sbb kamu jadi moody time kelas EN. MOOD. ( sapa rasa macam tu.. angkat tangan) Nasib baik kawan2 kamu sangat terer membodek dan memutarbelit ayat, akhirnya korng dapat cuti awal dari budak course lain..

kamu ada 4 ketul assignment yang nak kena disiapkan. 2 presentation, 2 project paper. tapi kamu buat cool dan menipu diri sendiri bahawa kamu akan buat kerja tu bila dah puas beraya. bila buat discussion pasal assignment, semua orang sibuk pikir raya menyebabkan kamu pun terus terleka dalam mood raya.. sampai la minggu yang kena hantar assignment tu.. baru kamu menyesal x buka langsung assignment tu sambil berazam, " chek x mau buat dah macam ni" tapi bila datang assignment baru, kamu buat balik perangai lama. " alaaaa..ilex r awal lagi.." kononnya.

kamu punya duit PTPTN dah nak abih.. tapi kamu teringin sangat satu baju kat Jalan TAR tu. Bila disuruh beli baju raya kat A. staq, kamu protes. TAKNAK!!!!!!!! kamu dah bagitau En.Yusub bahawa kamu nak beli baju raya kat KL sendiri. bila check akaun kat bank, ada lagi 4 ratus je lagi. Cukup2 utk kamu makan sampai akhir sem. Kamu buat sad story kat makcik kamu dgn skrip ala2 Winter Sonata dan Sad love story. mak cik kamu x tengok cerita korea, mana dia tau kan.. Akhirnya dapat jugak baju Oren yang diidamkan tu.

sapa nak berkata apa2 selain mengenai baju tu..sila jangan berkata apa2.

kamu beli tiket balik raya pukul 12 tgh hari.. tapi kamu ingat kamu beli tiket 12 tgh malam. dah tu buat kecoh kat bapa sedara kamu." argh.. abihla.. dah kena tinggal"Bla tersedar kamu salah tengok, Kamu termalu, tapi x nak ngaku salah jugak. " tension sbb banyak keja" kata kamu.. Ye.. Macamla En Pakcik nak percaya..haha.

kamu pergi ke puduraya nak naik bas sedangkan kamu tahu bas ada kat Hentian Duta sbb kamu ingat ada En Rapid KL ke sana. ( kononnya nak berdikari la ni) Tapi x da. kamu panik, tapi masih nak buat2 cool sambil terkulat2 seketika. akhirnya kamu kena bayar lagi 30 ringgit nak ke duta sahaja nak sama ngan tambang kamu balik kedah. Nak protes, -gile ke, nak kena tinggal? Cinabeng punya pakcik teksi!!!

dah sampai rumah, kamu bengang ngan adik kamu sbb x tolong kemas rumah sblm kamu balik. tengah kamu sibuk2 kemas rumah, terdengar pengumuman raya. Eh, esok dah raya?
kamu tak tau bahawasanya kamu balik tu sehari je sebelum raya.

hari raya pertama, kamu gembira sbb boleh pakai baju baru yang diidamkan. bila pegi ke rumah sedara pun banyak yang dok puji baju kamu. terasa macam Nicole Kidman pada ketika itu. mengenagkan raya sekali je setahun, dan hakikat bahawasanya kamu terpenjara lama kat Puncak Alam menyebabkan kamu jadi x ketahuan dalam memilih makanan, akhirnya, bila nak balik dari umah sedara, sepupu kamu tegur kenapa baju kamu nampak macam ketat, tak macam sebelum kamu makan tadi.
kesimpulannya kamu menutup perut kamu dengan beg Jimmy Choo tiruan kamu sepanjang hari.

(terbukti makan saja pun penat.. buktinya si Aziz dah terlena separuh masa pertamaraya)

( sapa kata oarng muda je suka gambarnya diambik... hahaha)

( cuba teka.. manakah ustazah Timah..)
( En Yusub yang dah semakin chubby di ptg raya)

hari raya kedua, kamu barjaya bangun awal walaupun dah tido lambat sbb tengok moviee raya pada malam sebelumnya. Bukak je tv, ada Mnet countdown.. Adik2 kamu dah bersiap nak keluar beraya lagi tapi kamu tercongok kat depan Tv sambil berusaha mencari TAeyang dalam kelibat2 artis kat dalam tu. kamu berebut remote Tv ngan adik kamu sbb dia nak tengok ultraman waktu Big Bang tengah perform. keputusannya: Kamu menang, adik kamu merajuk - ayah kamu kansel bawa kamu semua keluar pagi tu.

malam raya ke-3, Kak Pah-si ketua tingkatan time tingkatan 5 ajak g open house dia. Kamu x penah boleh pegi rumah dia nan besar tu. Walaupun x da kenderaan nak pegi, kamu tekad- mesti pegi umah Pah jugak sem ni. Nasib baik ada Farehah yang menjadi pemandu tetap bila nak pegi gathering2 ni... haha..jangan marah r.. Penat2 je kitaorang melaram sakan, bila sampai kat umah pah.. Pah pakai T-shirt ngan jeans je.. haisy. Disebabkan terlampau banyak benda yang digosipkan, gadoh hal sapa nak kawen dulu, orang yang dah grad x puas ati sbb orang dah x tanya bila dia nak Grad( terimala hakikat-farehah) suma orang pun x makan sangat-disamping sbb malu nak tambah banyak2 time orang ramai tu. Yang penting, kitaorang sempat berfotogedik di rumah pah sebagai tanda kenang-kenangan.

( termenung jauh si Erma..laparke?)

(lama gile x jumpa korang..rindu ah)

hari raya keempat. Khalilah buat Open House. Berjanjila dengan Aliaa nak pegi sekali.. tapi sbb En Yusub terlupa kami nak keluar hari tu.. terlambat la 30 minit. Cik Aliaa pasti dah bengang sbb dia dah penat bercomel2 dengn baju raya dia( oren jugak.. terbukti kita kembar r..hahaha) .Berjaya sampai ke rumah Khalilah tanpa sesat. Cik Khalilah pun dah semakin lawa dah sekarang membuatkan diri terasa tercabar," kenapa suma orang pun macam dah mature" kmu nk jadi peterpan-x nak membesar.

(tengok.. oren jugak.. dun admire too much la dear.hahaha )

( kenapa diah nampak macam besaq dalam gambar ni?.. confius tul)

( Cam tak caya Khalilah dah jadi mature dan ayu camni.. dulu KRS kasaq ja..jangan mara aaaa komander)

bila nak balik, kamu diheret Nadia dan Erma ke rumah terbuka kawannya pulak.. Terkulat2 kamu nak berlaku cool kat open house tu sbb kamu x kenal pun tuan rumahnya. mak cik tuan umah jeling2 je.. macam tau je kamu datang nak perabih makannya je tu .

hari raya kelima, sibuk bermesej ngan Adib, nak Ajak Ida kuar tapi Adib "malu" nak call Ida. (kedekut kredit sbnarnya tu) Jadi sebagai kawan yang BAIK, kamu msg Ida. Seperti yang dijangka, Ida tersangat la exsited nak kuar. Tapi pastu cik Adib pulak ada problem. Maknya nak bersalin. atas desakan beberapa pihak tertinggi, cik adib berjaya dihasut untuk keluar jugak. Awal pagi Rabu tu, kereta En Yusub rosak pulak..macam2 dugaan nak jumpa neh....tapi nasib baik kereta tu berjaya dipujuk bergerak sebelum pukul 1 ptg. Kamu cuak sbb takut Ida dah sampai dulu, tapi sia2 je cuakan tu.heh. Selepas cik Adib yang nampak kusut datang-mungkin sbb sibuk menjaga adik barunya tu ( adib... siapa namanya ek?) kitaorang pun makan2 untuk mendapatkan tenaga untuk bergosip2 selepas tu. yang tak besnya...

tengok tu... apa budak berdua ni buat... tsk..tsk...tsk..some bad habit never dies..

(tengok.. mengumpat x abih2.. tau la bln posa dah abih.. bawak2 la bertobat)

( pergh.... Ida dah jadi lagi Womanly dari kitaorang dua.. tercabar tul!)

kamu dan rakan2 dah puas memusing Alor Star Mall yang kononnya agak besar tu. (tipuuuuuula sangat.. potong 6 midvalley pun x la sekecik ia) Next stop, panggung wayang.Disebabkan kamu suma merasakan diri masih lagi kanak2 riang, kamu tengok G-Force. kamu tengok di sekeliling, Orang lain bawak anak2. tak kisahla.. janji hepi.. Sebelum pegi masuk cinema, kamubaru tersedar ada tempat K-OK kat sana, kamu gian nak nyanyi.. tapi malu nak ngaku kata nak pegi.. Nasib baik kwan2 kamu tu pun mcm paham2 je. tapi sbb cik kaunter tu x nak jugak bagi masuk kurang dari 3 jam.. kamu terpaksala memendam harapan tu dan berazam untuk berkaraoke jugak bila dah balik KL. ( rugi x leh dgr Ida nyanyi..hahaha

balik ke Kl hari Jumaat padahal semua housemate kamu balik hari hari Sabtu dan Ahad, kamu tiinggal sorang2 kat rumah. Kat Puncak alam tu....FUHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... berani giler!! (bangga sebentar)

Hari Isnin.. Praktikal kat Hospital Kajang start.. bermulala hari2 yang x berapa menggembirakan sbb kamu x gemar ngan sister yang jaga wad kamu.

3nd week. Praktikal kat Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah ( HTAR). Gembira sbb wadnya sangat best .. dapat blajar banyak kes2 best dan akhirnya terasa macam berjaya buat sesuatu yang selain dari bt keja bdk2 sem 1. tapi pastu wad tu kena tutup sbb dijaikan wad H1N1. Kotaorang kena duduk kat "pusat Perubatan Puncak Alam" ..bosan2.. kamu jadi bertambah tensen.

4th week. Kat ICU HTAR.. tersangat la besnya keja kat sini..Macam x mau blik ja.. Great case, great experience, much to learn. LOVE IT.. eh... kenapa terasa macam dah kuar tajuk raya nih?

Open house terakhir.. Raya deepavali kat umah Nina lepas berjaya pujuk Puan Siti pendekkan kelas.. Pandai je korang bab2 balik awal ni.. heh

( muka2 lapar x makan dari pagi..eksited dapat makan free)

(jangan silap sangka.. yang bertunang tu kakakNina.. bukan Ikin hahaha)

( Ini dia calon pelakon mami jarum.. nantikan dia dlam mami jarum 3 di pawagam berhampiran anda..haha)

_______________________________________________

credits to:
Mak ayah tersayang....
Kayers yang dirindui..
Classmateku yang hurm... yang apa ek.. ?
sapa2 yang macam terperasan namanya disebut dalam ni..

P/s: walaupun dah abih raya.. tapi, " selamat belated hari raya.."

i'm here u dummy!!!

2009-10-15T18:22:00.005+08:00

I'm really excited bout Young bae releasing his new single..
Where u at and wedding dress..
i'm really EXCITED i think i'm in cloud nine.

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

stop it!!!
he seriously need to stop making my heart flutter everytime listening to his voice and seeing his move.

Listening to where u at?
akekeke... i cant help grinning and melting ..
"i'm here u dummy.. "

WHERE U AT LYRICS

I don't even know your name, girl
but I will get you somehow
just got let me know where you at
cuz Im here, come here

Its as if you know me from the first glance
When I saw that familiar smile of yours
My footsteps stopped as well

baby,
Time flies by with a blink of an eye
But I remember that feeling at that moment
Anyhow it feels insecure
So can I try it again

When I turn around to see you again
You are only getting farther

Today I am going to find you again
and stay on this spot

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Please tell me right now
So my love can start
where u at, girl

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Someday when I am called
I will be already standing beside you

As if my loneliness is understood
Those expressions of yours is unforgettable
You understand my feelings

Perhaps you are having a hard time like Im
If this cold world
Collides and tires you out
Please wait until I can meet you

No matter how much I run to find you
You are only getting farther

As usual today I am
Over the skies and shout towards your path

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Please tell me right now
So my love can start
where u at, girl

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Someday when I am called
I will be already standing beside you

Lets go

Let me break this time
Somewhere today
You, who will be listening to this song
Ill promise you right now that
You were meant for me, so I will be there for you

I just wanna know where u at
where u at
where u at
where u at

Tell me right now
So my love can start

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Someday when I am called
I will be already standing beside you
I will be standing here

shock me.

2009-10-14T10:17:00.000+08:00

SS501 had their autograph signing session in Selangor.. in PJ....

like OMG...
they are here last month..in Selangor.. Selangor.. the same place i'm stepping my feet on for the last 3 years
and yet.. i only know of it last week..
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
that a total turn down..
and GOD.........i'm so very dissapointed for my ignorance
i feel like.. " What the hell was i doin that I didn't know of it at all"( should i switch from 98.8fm to my.fm then?)
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

izza shock.

all you lucky gal that got the chance to meet Hyun jooong.. damn .. i'm so jealous right now..
i could die of jealousy seeing all the pictures taken by then at the session.. (>.<)

looking on the bright side.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they are holding their ASIA TOUR PERSONA 2009 in December or JAnuary..( please please make it december.)
although i'm anticipating Big bang or 2pm or NEWS to come..but nevertheless
GYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sooooooooo goin.. who's with me?

the relaxation theraphy

2009-10-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

ok.. i admit.. i usually vent everything out in here..
sorry that u have to read all those.. but this is really my only way out..
because i can never be myself out here.. never. not like when i'm with u guys( u noe who u r.. )
because it'll be just weird.. and well you know..some people just cant accept people being different than them
and also i chicken out too i guess..afraid of loosing friend if i scold em or say things that they make me wanna scream to their face..
i'm such a hypocrite.. i know.

i'm so tired of wishing things would turn out right for me now..
and found something that totally gets my mind out of all the problem that have been clouding my mind..
just though of sharing this.. because it's effing funny..
and yeah.. i can smile back now.. (n.n)

JIAYOU.....!!

HWAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoping for a " la vida dolce"

2009-10-06T22:13:00.003+08:00

so.. back here again..
and no.. thing haven't been better but just just keep swelling and gangrening from time to time..
urgh i hate the current situation so much right now..

Got a new problem about the hospital placement, right when i finally feel like i'm able to fit in with the new environment,learn something new.. we have to move out again..
urgh........... I want to go for my practical as planned.. but now..
i think my spirit to fight have run low by this 2 week alone..
things are just so effing bad!!!!
i feel like crying now.. what does fate have in store for me this semester.. i dont know
but i'm really worried that my CGPA will drop due to much problem this semester.. ( havent i told u i hate being in Puncak Alam for some reason?)

i'm trying to be positive about this but how can i when i'm unable to even see some light that promises things would be better this semester..
I'm just clueless, sad and very distress right now.. ( usually practical was the happiest time of the semester for me..to be able to help other, see the real situation i will be working in, connect with new people.. but this sem... Why oh Why must it happen this way?)

ok...........i dont wanna think about it anymo'

lets just hope there's a silver lining for this heavy cloud tomorrow..

i'm back... i guess

2009-10-05T19:57:00.003+08:00

i've been wanting to post up something since last week but things just keep messing up that i've lost interest to even get online..
test.. assignment.. research paper.. assignment.. presentation.. practical..

i'm too tired by the end of the day.
i think i got no life outside of the the " cycle"
hurm.. I need to get get out a bit..

oh..i know i should post up something about the Eid's holiday ( which was totally awesome.. the best Hari raya ever..) but then.. i'm in no mood to do anything cheery rite now.
so till i'm fully recovered and rested, i think that is for now..

don't miss me too much guys.. hahaha

P/s: dream of someone that i've longed to see last night.. too bad it was a short dream.. i've got so much to tell him.. * sigh*

yeh yeh!!

2009-09-14T15:13:00.003+08:00

today's class is the last class before Eid..
Yay.. !!!happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can't wait to go back home... !!!*jumps*

my research tittle have been approved... Yay!!That's a total relief for me since that was stressing my mind these few weeks. now, i'll have to stress for the research method and it's equipment.. AHHH..just thinking of it make me tired again. lately i get tired easily...A sign of aging? oh no!!

everyone is busy packing their bags now.. wah.... after tonight, it seem that there will only be me and Nisa left in this house.. Oh.... scary.. and sunyinya.. x leh kacau kueja ngan ilah dah malam ni.. huhu.

this year, i didn't have much time to make the Eid cards, so .. trully sorry my friends if u got em' later or not getting em at all. u noe, with all this business and assignment goin on.. i dont have ideas to make a card now...( Padahal boleh ja bagi kad yang dah siap, tapi malu lah saya kalo bagi yang x handmade.. dah x special la..hehe.). tapi.. kepada cik Adib dan Aliaa..tuan hamba berdua tidak dibenarkan untuk x mengepos kad raya kat beta.. Jangan lupa. beta murka karang..

sooooo........since it'll be a week holiday, i will be non-posty during this 1 week until further notice. so, SELAMAT AIDILFITRI SEMUA.

notakukutangan: Kepada semua yang mengenali diri ini.. ( chewah)..tolong maafkan semua kesalahan saya yang "tersengaja" atau tak " tersengaja". kepada yang buat salah kat org tu.. orang dah 4give dah korang.. tapi 2 4get tu..wallahualam la.

notakukukaki: sapa nkberaya ngan saya.. cepat buat reservation.( konon diri ini most wanted macam liyana jasmay la..haha) kalo x nanti km x tau boleh pegi umah korang ke tak kalo cik Usup dah buat plan.

hari untuk beronok2

2009-09-13T13:34:00.012+08:00

stelah berbulan2 melobi dan memujuk..

akhirnya....

*drumroll*

akhirnya....

KAmi berjaya jugak keluar beronok-ronok di KL.. ( walaupun plan asal berubah la)
semalam sejarah telah tercipta apabila tetamu kehormat dari Johor: Datin Sri Adib Yasmin BSN, ASN, FYI, DLL akhirnya tiba di perkarangan Times Square dengan kenderaan rasminya.. Kedatangan beliau telah disambut dengan meriahnya dengan asakan remaja2 Kuala Lumpur yang sibuk berjalan2, langgar orang lain dengan bangganya sambil memberi jelingan ko-tak-mengelak-nasib la-kalo- kena-langgar.

sesudah sampai di Borders, destinasi yang dipersetujui oleh pihak Kedutaan di Kuala Lumpur, beliau selamat ditemui termanggu2 di kalangan Buku2 duniawi yang mencabar kemampuan golongan student-di-akhir-semester untuk membelinya dalam kuantiti sedozen seperti yang dikehendaki.

Pihak kami dengan segera menghubungi pentagon berikutan penemuan itu. dipahamkan beliau lapar dan mengantuk kerana sudah beronok2 pada malam sebelum itu jadi pihak kami terpaksa bertindak segera untuk membawa beliau keluar dari Borders dan membuat reservation di Sweet Chat ( yang mempunyai sedikit kenangan buruk bagi pihak penulis..berkaitan istilah Strawberry dan spaghetti)

disebabkan masih belum waktu untuk berbuka, pihak penulis "terpaksa" membawa DAtin ADib melawat ke tapak " ekspo" barangan berjenama Big bang, DBSK, SHINEE, Suju, dan yang bersekongkol dengannya di tingkat 5. setelah gagal memprovokasikan beliau untuk membeli sekeping CD G-dragon atau DVD Big show yang mencabar dompet pihak penulis terutamanya kami pun keluar dari kedai tu seblum mak cik penjual itu meneruskan lagi usahanya untuk mempromoto Album En-Gd yang menjadi igauan anak2 dara korea masakini.

kami meneruskan penjelajahan terhadap Time square dengan menjajah kedai Video, KEdai hadiah ( salah satu usaha untuk meminta hadiah birthday yang tertunggak.. haha), dan kedai2 baju, dan kedai animasi2. Hasilnya, selepas menunggu dalam 30 minit.. penulis: 0, Adib: 3 CD dan beberapa buku duniawi yang disebutkan sebelum ni.

( penat meh.. nunggu dia beli2 ni.. hehe)

setelah penat pusing2 time square, sambil terlanggar berkali2 oleh Remaja2 KL yang x tengok jalan, ( aku rasa remaja2 berikut x puasa la.. semangat je jalan laju2, dan slambe je langgar2 orang smpai nak terjatuh aku..) dan jugak penat tersesat dalam usaha mencari balik Sweet Chat.. Kami berjaya jaga sampai di Sweet Chat.
Kami secara rasminya habis makan dalam pukul 8.30 apabila masing2 sudah tidak larat nak terus mengisi makanan dalam perut dan selesai bergosip2 tentang berat badan masing2 yang semakin meruncing.

(kan dah kata.. dia sangat lapar.. tengok..)

( makanan first round.. haha)

Pihak penulis kemudiannya diprovoke oleh Datin Adib untuk menonton THe Final Destination-3d. Brikutan itu, pihak paramedik mendapati, penulis telah mengalami seram2 sejuk berlebihan dan debaran2 yang merungsingkan untuk dijelaskan dalam mana2 journal perubatan apabila diajak tengok cerita terbabit ( vital Sign: RR: 30/min, Hr: 82/min Bp: 140/90),. Berada di seat kedua hadapan, berbekalkan keberanian yang suam2 kuku saja tu.. pihak penulis berjaya mengharungi 1 jam yang mendebarkan tu( 45 % of the time tutup mata.. hahaha). Berikut adalah beberapa pengajaran yang didapati daripda cite tu:

1. jangan p tengok Car race,
2. jangan main2 ngan lori pengangkut..and dont drink and drive.
3. jangan buat vandalism kat meja di kedai Kopi di tempat anda. ( they are coming)
4. jangan pi salon.. x payah susah nak p saloon buat rambut.. telangkup je mangkuk atas kepala, suruh r sesapa tulung guntingkan ikut bentuk mangkuk tu..-jadi la, fesyen rambut magkuk macam yang Gd punya dulu atau buat kerinting sendiri ja.. membazir tul pegi saloon..hahaha)
5. Jangan emo kat kolam renang, ala.. budak2 melawak, bukannya sakit pun. yang pegi amik pistol air dia pehal?
6. Jangan cuci kereta guna mesin tu.. ( ni lagi satu pembaziran) dan x payah la nak berkereta yang boleh bukak2 bumbung tu.
6. Racism itu merugikan diri sendiri.. ( tengok pa jadi kat pak cik yang racist kat korea tu)
7. Jangan main air dalam hospital.. nanti lantai runtuh.
8. look left and right before crossing.. walaupu anda di hospital..Naya la mati accident kena langgar ngan ambulan.. kat depan hospital lak tu.. hiasy* geleng kepala * ( adib, jaga r.. kalo orang jd pranoid ka.. it's ur fault)
9. jangan naik eskalator..terutama bila anda pakai sneaker.. naik bila dah pasti ia sudah dimatikan...panjat sendiri la..haha.
10. duduk di bahagian depan kat Cinema adalah bahaya kalau tiba2 ada letupan.. dan jugak memalukan kalau anda terjerit kuat atau termelatah.
11. Jangan Conteng meja kat Kedai kopi.. kan dah kata.. Tuhan marah.

DAN

tak de maknanya menengok wayang kalo anda asyik tutup mata saja sbb takut.. x puas ati tul tengok tapi x brani nak buka mata jugak.. huhu

so.. Selepas episod itu, kami sempat berfotogedik di meja2 Starbuks sambil menunggu kedatangan kenderaan rasmi Datin Adib . dan akhirnyabalik jugak sesudah kul 12 tgh malam.. ( gile ah.. orang bt sembahyang tarawikh.. dia bertarawikh kat TS.. kalo la Ustazah Timah tau ni.. mampuih la aku kena bebel)

di sini.. penulis mengucapkan setinggi2 terima kasih dan tahniah kepada pihak Datin sri Adib dan Abangnya kerana berjaya sampai ke Kl seperti yang dijanjikan. Diharapkan pada masa2 akan datang, pihak tuan/puan dapat meneruskan tradisi ini dan juga membawa duit banyak lagi untuk membeli Cd G-Dragon dan Yui yang menawan kalbu tu.

sekian.. dilaporkan..

saya yang menjalankan "tugas"

IZZA
( Prof Diraja YG)
Miss YoungbaeTOPDragon MSN, SMS, BSN, ASN, MMS.

Something STUPID

2009-09-11T06:57:00.004+08:00

WARNING : blogger in emo mood!!

It was hella week!!!

I guess I’m experiencing a little bit of burnout due to all the things that happens this week..

And keeping everything bottled up .. things just gotten from bad to worst to me..

Urgh….

m( T.T)m

still “ mourning “ over the whole Jae issue…

GOD… I miss him already eventhough it’s just 2 days ago that he left..

I hope the one who did all the dirty deed was happy that he managed to ruin it all for other people..

U stupid uncivilized netizen!!

( jae. good luck in ur future undrtaking...n goodbye. (T.T))

i dont know how some people define themselves being "nationalist" while all that they have done is not bringing the name of their country up, but they totally tore the reputation of the country.

Yes.. maybe jae have said quite some harsh words.. but why must the people be so taken over that 4 year old comment anyway?

i mean.. move on la.. he's a changed person nw.. and he have apologize..

what more can u ask for. ( voting on him 2 committing suicide?.. oh people.. What right do u have to make him do that.. are u GOD?.. gee.. the mo i think of it, it gets sillier..)

and still, by saying that he have insulted their race and country then refuses to forgive him after he apologize..dont u think that they are being childish and "mengada?". And dont u think that they are actually insulting their country for acting like a total jerk. my view on Korean people was slightly shaken after Jae incident

i know i might not feel the weight of his word too much as i am not a Korean. and I admit that i would feel so insulted and angry if someone insult my beloved country( like the whole Indonesia cntroversy over that whole stupid pendet thing.. so stupid and small it make me really irritated and yeah.. i hate Indonesian for that)

BUT..

i am not that insane and stupid to make a petition for " u better commit suicide " kind of thing..

i would not, in my right mind go and do petition like that to the one that i hate..and he did apologize..( tanpa diminta) so. end of story, Can't u just forgive him.. ?

ok... i know i'm getting a little emo right now..

but the who issue regarding nationalist just getting more and more out of focus and may i say SILLY.

its not only the whole Jae thing, it also something that happen in my own motherland and its neighbour, Indonesia.

on the whole "pendet" dance thing..

like OMG.. they really make such a big issue over that small matter.. throwing rotten eggs to Malaysian houses in Indonesia, making a riot, asking the leader to do a talk just on that.. YEah.. they sure bring "glory" and "good name" to their country..I would be " proud" if my fellow countrymen do that in my place ( not that i never think of that- send each of em back to where they come from.. semak mata r tengok dorang skrg)

NAsionalist or just simply stupid people..

IT IS JUST SO DAMN SILLY now!!they really like controversy dont they?, first on Manohara, then Amabalat and house servant now this??

PEOPLE!! come on la..

the Pendet issue is not even Malaysia's fault, its the company who produce the commercial fault. And we didn't have to apologize for that.. But we did.. and guess what..

same with those korean teenager's they say no and decided to make it a BIG ISSUE.!!

I am so angry at the whole thing i feel like punching someone so hard in their face right now..

Enough with using your "love" for your country as a mask of your nature ( being a controversy maker and a joy killer). they dont have to worry that we'll see that "pendet" dance as ours. Macam la best sangat culture dorang tu.. DAh namanya pun satu rumpun, mesti la ada culture yang nak sama(eg: BAtik)..dah suma pun ada sejarah yang lebih kurang je..Sal tarian tu..amik ja la.. nak gado2.. macam budak bodoh la. It's just a dance for God sake!! and sacrificing the relation between 2 country for that one VERY SERIOUSLY STUPID matter.. You just make people feel disguise with u and in a way.. make the other peoples hate your country. ( and I am one..x leh bayang betapa menyampahnya aku tengok Indon beramai2 kat Klang, KL skrg.. Malaysia help 3 billion of their people to earn money, and what do they give us..? beside crimes, more setinggan, more disease, overcrowding of hospital beds with their people-and most of em didn't even pay for the service..Nak cari gado lak.. so ungrateful la). And the media.. Stop Provoking the clueless people with your false facts will you?

if that what this so called nasionalist want.. well, what more can be said?

some people never grow up it seem .

notakakipukul: En Vokalis GiGI ( yang aku x teringin nak tau namanya tu).. ngapa bongkak sangat sal hal ni.. MEnuduh melulu kononnya mlaysia suka cari hal ( SEE who's talking la). X paham cerita tapi nak bersuara macam kononya dia di pihak yang betul.. get ur fact right first b4 jump to conclusion. Shame on you..

and owh.. I never like your music anyway!! so x kisah r ko nak pulau MAlaysia pun.. atau Malaysia Pulau ko ( harap2nya la).. we'll live very well with or without u..

HEARTBREAKER..

2009-09-09T04:37:00.005+08:00

Biasa dengar lagu pastu lirik/ melodi dia sgt sedih sampaikan korang nangis meleleh hingus tapi tobat korang x ngaku sbb nak cntrol marcho..senang cakap lagu tangkap leleh la bak kate En Yusub bila aku bt adegan2 tolong-selamatkan-aku-dari-sini-wei bila dia pasang lagu2 putus chenta dia " kang kena tinggal ngan pakwe, lagu camni jugak hang cari". dan diakui oleh Cik Azizah bila beliau bergado ngan boifrennya.. Tapi aku x main la lagu2 leleh ni.. heh. ( dengan nada2 sombongnya). mana leh main lagu, orang dengar ja kan.. ( ok.. lawak bodo.. aku tau)

so.. spatutnya biasa la bila orang nangis dengar lagu camni..

( ye aku tau aku penah ngaku aku anti pompuan ini.. tapi aku suka lagu ni..nak bt camna an aku rasa skrg antifan mmg x skolah r)

tapi.. pelik x kalo sedih sbb lagu camni?

dari saat prtama tgk MV tu sampai la ending dia..

Lu jiwangla! mana ada sedih pun.. Ayat2 biasa cik Kiah ( bukan nama sebenar) bila tengok orang lain berjaya menangis dengan jayanya bila tgk citer korea..Bukan salah dia kalo dia x paham citer tu kan.. dah Hero2 citer 2 lagi menarik perhatian dari jalan citer yang asyik2 lebih kurang sama je tu.

alih2 si hero/hroin suka kat watak sampingan 1st,tapi si watak sampingan laki tu suka kat watak sampingan pompuan, pastu mintk tolong kat hero.. pastu tersuka suki lak kat si hero/heroin yang ditolong tu.. tapi tiba2 si watak sampingan laki tu dah suka kat dia.. so si pompuan tu dalam dilema nak pilih sapa, oang yang suka buli dia ke orang yang slalu tolong dia. pastu si watak sampingan pompuan tu pulak tetiba jadi evil ( macam kena rasuk lak), musuh ngan si heroin..pastu bermusuh, tapi last2 si heroin ttp ngan si hero ( sbb kalo x orang x mau tengok dah cite tu) dan si watak sampingan laki2 tu pun macam redha la. * tapi camne pun , aku tetap tercegat kat depan laptop menengok drama korea ni jugak* dah terbabas tajuk la pulak.

sbnarnyA x berkaitan sangat pun lagu leleh atau citer korea ni ngan apa yang aku teringin nak sampaikan ni..apa yang aku nak citer hanyalah.. akula insan yang sedih bila tengok Mv 2pm tu.. dan rasanya aku x berseoranagn dalam arena emosi terganggu ni.. kenapa? Buat2 tanya lak..mestila sbb... sbb En Jae boem dah kena balik US smalam..( ye aku emo skrg.. kamu ape peduli cik Nah..saya punya suka r nak sedih kat sapa pun..shuh..shuh..gi main jauh2.huhu)

waa... malas dah r nak menaip mcm ni.. i want my Jae.. * er.. cik Nah.. ada tisu lebih x?*

i am so H.E.A.R.T B.R.O.K.E.N

2009-09-09T04:05:00.002+08:00

mental exhaustion..
my hands were too tired to cntinue typing..
my ears refused to listen to any song but Taeyoen's "if" and " can you hear me"..
i wish to cry..

i'm tired..
but cant sleep yet..
too many thing racing in my mind..
just wish i cud calm down..
that my heart stop pounding so hard.. get a grip..
that my mind can figure out a way.. must be prepared 4 the changes i'm about to experience..
still... i'm feeling a little tachycardic now.. Am i hyperventilating too..?
God.. i feel so unprepared..

( ok.. laugh all u can.. i've shocked myself also that i actually like her very much now....blame it on da unstable emotion )

G the dragon

2009-08-31T00:42:00.006+08:00

i'm in the mist of finishing up all the piled assignment from last week..
oh my.. only if i know that it'll turn out to be this hard, i would have done it earlier on.. hurm.. what the use of regretting that now.. but luckily there are still 3 week to go before the due date.

now mediaplayer is playing G-Dragons song, " Heart breaker" for the 5rd time since an hour ago.. hehe
I'm completely addicted to his songs aready. so that mean i'm not GD bias la kan.
wonder when will I have enuf money to buy the album.. ( harapan murni kononnya nak beli album ori.. tapi yang taeyang punya pun sampai skrg x beli2 jugak)
so loving the whole concept of the album.. and wow. the cover just superb.. ( but still HOT still da ichiban album in my cardiac )
i'm thinking of making a GD Popsicle/ lollipop using it already.. yum..yum..
Hoping Adib would be nice and "pemurah" enuf to buy me one.. please..please adib.. ( n.n)

1. 소년이여 ( A boy )
2. Heartbreaker (highly recommended..)
3. Breathe ( i dunno why but everytime i listen to this i would go.. "kya!! his voice is so cute ..haha)
4. Butterfly (feat. Jin Jung)
5. Hello (feat. 산다라) ( my favorite after heartbreaker..Dara's voice blend well with this song)
6. Gossip man (feat. 김건모) ( i fell instantly in love with the lyrics and the song)
7. Korean Dream (feat. 태양)( quite dissapointed that Bae's voice was change by that mixer machine.. huhu.. i wanna hear bae's sweet voice .. but still love it dearly)
8. The leader (feat. Teddy , CL)
9. She’s Gone (feat. KUSH)
10. Hollow
11. 1년 정거장 ( Station 1 year )

i'm missing the boys already!! GO back to Korea please!!!i feel weird listening to em in Japanese.

_______________________________________________________

Got message from adib earlier.. UTM x da letrik.. hahaha padan muka. mesti sbb warga dia nan sorang tu guna byak sgt electrical appliances kan.. haha
_______________________________________________________

..it 12 midnite already..

Happy Independent Day Malaysia!!!

bila aku lak nak merdeka dari assignment nih.. ( T.T)

Sabaq Izza sabaq

2009-08-29T15:50:00.004+08:00

ok.. mental dah agak stabil dah ..

Heaven

2009-08-27T23:57:00.005+08:00

because i'm bored.. n doin this is so much fun..
so did this 4 the 2nd time around..

Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from. ( malas la.. )

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
this love -GD.. (ok..watever)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
lovely day-super junior ( i wanna hold ur hand.. i wanna fall in love with u..hurm (n.n)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
honey- ayumi hamasaki.. ( what that suppose tomean.. sweet 2day?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
white out- tetsu 69 ( huh?)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
lost heaven- l'arc en ciel. ( 1st white out.. then lost.. OMG, what is happening to my life? mesti sbb mlas nak baca balik nota nih..heh)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
A day in our life - Arashi ( ohhhhhhhhh... just a day in ur life.. sedihnyaaaaaaaaa)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Find - SS501 ( hurm... ada maksud tersurat kah ni??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Gojitmal ( lies) - Big bang .. ( HUHHHHHHHH??.... tidak... saya ni suci murni.. mana ada pikir nak tipu2ni.. tak.. bukan saya tuh.. silap orang tuh..heh)

WHAT IS 2+2?
do you love me- BoA ( skali lagi ditegaskan.. saya x jiwanglah!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Zutto ( mengikut kamus bahasa jepun aku yang dah berkarat ni.. maksudnya FOREVER kan.. )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
always- big bang ( aha.. erm.. no comment.. pass)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
the day u went away - M2m ( ye aku simpan lagi lagu lama nih.. sya tak jiwangla, )

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
pieces- L'arc-en-ciel ( 4 real??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Kyosoukyoku~ cruel crucible-phantasmagoria ( maknanya aku berniat jahat kat dia ke? huh.. macam la aku berani sangat.. hahaha)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU
Megamix- linkin park ( hahahaha..... begitu serius ke kecomplex-an aku nih.. sian mak ayah aku ..ahahaha)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
My Darling - Kara ( x nak... nak lagu big bang- always, atau seung gi's -will u marry me..baru best..hehe)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
sayaendo - NEWS.. ( ROFL........why?... of all song.. sayaendo.."BRAVO!Bravo" kat sapa tuh)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Da eum nal (the next day)-seungrim( ooooooooo..perli rapat nih.. nak kata aku procrastinate le tuh.. yela.yela.. satgi aku baca balik la buku tu..)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Don't give a damn- BoA ( media player ni saja nak pekena aku ke ni.. dulu lies.. skrg ni lak..hurm.. to think back.. ada betul kot.. yang x rapat tu betul la kot( rare case saje ni ok)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Lost wing- Tsubasa reservoir chronicle OST ( ooooooohh.. sedihnya.. yes.. dat da worst la)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
10 point out of 10 - 2pm..( ape nih.. kat funeral aku main sayaendo.. aku mati lak camni.. tragisnya kisah ni)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Wa - Jun Jin ( hurm... x pahe la)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Blurry eyes - L'arc-en-ciel ( langsung x lawak bila rabun nih.. tipu la.apa yg lawaknya..huh? huh?

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Nobody - wonder girls ( i wan nobody, nobody but u.. 2 yang susah ni.. haish, need to move on la)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Rock on! - super Junior T( konfem la tu kan.. hahaha..)

kalo aku nak dia ni boleh??

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
moon rabbit- yuna Ito ( agaknya la.. )

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
loose my breath - destiny child (oh ho!!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Since yesterday - tommy february 6 ( jap.. what was it again?)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
my ear candy - Baek jiyoung ft taec ( no way.. tak.. tipu la)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS
tengok tajuk di atas

ok..ok.. break is over, now lets get goin with with the notes please..
studi studi..

geli lah!!!!!!

2009-08-27T23:20:00.006+08:00

i know i should be reading my pediatric note now.. but well... it seem like that note would have to wait for a while..
my mind was distracted by this ..( dah kurang dah pahala posa aku sbb nih)

OH MY GEE..............boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please don't do that in reality please..

"dr every night i be wit u.. jadi every night i'm dirty"ahaha..
bengong la..Dirty eyes girls ( aku termasuk ke dalam kategori ni..hahaha)

and teac........ ahahah.. ilang la imej marcho de !!! * geleng kepala*

rosak lagu abracadabra yang aku mnat tuh... huhu..
rosak r 1 day camni.. huhu..nsb bek Junsu ngan Jae xmasuk skali.. uhuhu.(>.<)

macam geli r tengok dorang laki pakai cam pompuan ( tapi aku x prejudice to transverse ok)

tidaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....x sanggup tgk 1day jadi camni.. tapi ulang tgk byk kali jugak..heheh

geli r dorang neh.....