yeay for Aizat for winning AJL last night..!!! I kinda expect that song going to win.. his Voice are just soothing and..and.. he kinda remind me of Bae.. hahaha ( typical me) only that Aizat doesn't move like YoungBae did * cough* and a 6 pack* cough*
and my top 3 Fav artist winning1st, 2nd and 3rd place ..!!!! Cograts YUna and Faizal Tahir!!!!!! regardless of what other thinks.. i think they deserved to win..!!
i think my prayer have been answered. everything went fine today.. in fact.. excellent!!! thank God everything went fine..well.. at work at least..
today i worked in acute cubicle again.. as it is holiday today ( but of course nurses and doctors never experience a saturday and sunday break) .. the ward seem quite peaceful compared to yesterday.. ( ok..ok,i lied.. it was exactly the same like yesterday) i think i got in the right mood today.. i didn't bother bother about what other have been able to do today that i still haven't got the chance to do yet( did i confuse u..haha) It was tiring if u keep comparing your achievement with other.. but sometimes, u just cant help it right. ? it was always the competition to be the best that motivate me to work harder each day.,but a some point, you forget what you always want, " to do your thing". you seek recognition for being the one able to do many procedure.. one other can depend on - NEEDED.. but you forget to do " your thing"- nursing with compassion, touch with care, listen with empathy, and make them feel happy that there is someone who are caring for them like a family.. CAught in the middle of a competition.Everything now seem just as a JOB..you came to the ward, check on the patient, give medicine, keep his hygiene, clean their wound, but you never know who you are caring, what was they feeling being at the ward alone- when everyone surrounds them have their family visiting, you only knew their physical medical diagnosis.. never their emotional diagnosis.
before this, i never really cared about being at the top of the class, never really cared if someone think that i'm stupid for spending longer time trying to do a work that other can just do a slipshot, never cared if someone think i'm pretending to be hardworking when i spend time working on a patient study case.. I dont know where and when, i change into a robot.. i did help a lot in the ward.. but i never feel happyand contended like i used to everytime i help the patients. I dont know them. they are just "works that i have to finish" instead of" a person/family member i want to care"
Did i decided to be a nurse so that i can be the one needed in case of medical emergency.. Yes.. but did i want to be a highly capable nurse who only knew to do her work and neglect other thing about the patient which has nothing to do with their medical diagnosis? NO. I always dream of being a nurse who can be trusted to work with, confident, capable and the one that was close to the patient heart, the one who take care of a patient emotional and physical need. All this while, i was so buzy catching up with other, i forgot who i really want to be.. i forgot ME!! i forgot my own true desire.. i forgot to build myself to be the one that i always wanted to be. I REALLY HOPE TO BE ONE EXCELLENT NURSE..
my preceptorship officially starts last Tuesday.. scary.. when thinking about it.. in just a few month i'll be changing from the title student to a fully working adult.. not that i never think of it.. but time just seem to flew so fast these 4 years. in the next 6month.. everyone will walk on our different way.. wonder if there will be any chance that we'll meet each other again. i think i wanna cry now.. tsk..tsk..
since this i my first time in Sg Buloh hospital. i think i still havent fully able to adapt to the new situation.. the first 3 day were like .. uhhhh.. i think i'll give myself a C for the overall performance..crap..crap.. lets just hope everytime went fine and i'll be able to perform well tomorrow.
lots of things happened in the last 3 days..somebody broke into our house and stole 3 laptops and 2 handsets.. the robber HAD been caught but ... he was released ( or so the police said he escaped -but i think he was released instead of escaped) ON THE VERY SAME DAY!!! things were geting more complicated for us.. my friends who lost their laptops is totally devastated.. all of their research work was stored in their laptops.. now it seem like they have to start all over again.. and the fact that the robber got away.. we haven't been able to sleep at night or go anywhere.. fearing that he might break in again.. HAISH!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was raining outside.. it was so mellow here that even listening to TAeyang and Thelma's " falling in love" song make me weep for no reasons..
soooo the result was out today as rumored.... dum.. dii..dum...
i told myself not to put such high hopes on this one as u know... when did i really study this semester? hurm.. i believe that is only about 3 hours on the day before the exam. so basically padan muka la if i didn't get what i want..
but..
but...
i got what i wanted... only that .. now i kinda wish i had it better... haish.. i know i should be grateful... but somehow..somewhere deep inside.. i can't feel the joy of getting the result as i should. i hate this.. why do i have to rain on my own parade like this..
aku sbnarnya sgtlaaaaa malas sangat nak menghupdate blog ni dalam masa terdekat ni sbb praktikal dah stat balik plus aku kena paksa siapkan bahan multimedia utk conference kitaorang minggu ni jugak.. So kononnya macam aku sgt bz la tu padahal aku lebih fokus dan komited melayan honki dalam " you are beautiful aka A.N. JELL" dari beberapa minggu lepas lagi. (padahal ketua program nak harini tuh.. fuh~~ fuh~~ gile OTAI)
Skrg musim hujan pulak.. FUH~~ kalo bole tido sampai petang , percayalah, ada ja student puncak alam ni yang akan berbuat demikian.. sampai ada la yang kena tinggal bas nak gi praktikal.. isk3 dah tau kn p wad blik..nak tido tu agak2 r beb..Bukan aku aaaa.. saya kan pelajar cemerlang..hikhik
still lagi malas..tapi sbb terasa macam x chill kalo aku x cerita benda ni.. sblm ia jadi basi dan dicemari e-coli yang banyak sampai menyebabkan terjadinya AGE ( Acute gastro enteritis) di kalangan yang terlibat.. maka aku mengagahkan diri nak menaip ni.
Bulan lepas, 21 Ogos kitaorang ada satu dinner persatuan kat INTEKMA, Shah alam. Konon2 bertema la.. " garden dinner". konon nak berfesyen la..Check duit kat ATM.. cisss cukup2 buat beli megi asam laksa seminggu dua ja..au rasa kalo mesin tu bleh gelak.. dah lama dia gelak tergolek2 kat situ bila keluarkan slip baki aku.. cheese sungguh. kensel beli baju ropol2 ala2 langsir umah datok bandar aloq staq. last2 pakai jugak baju raya.. alaaaa ada bunga jugak kan..
perasaan sebal sbb x berjaya mencari tukang sponsor utk baju baru terubat bila ada ramai lagi orang senasib dalam hal ehwal kewangan di akhir semester turut memilih utk pakai baju raya..
ahli2 flower rangers sebelum bertukar, dari kiri : ranger's merah( ikin), rangers oren ( cikizzacute), pink ranger ( nina), ermmm ranger itam putih ( dila), ranger kuning-putih-koko(gile jawatan btul nih)-ema, dan ranger itam-putih jugak (nisa)
berbekalkan semangat dan ingatan yang kuat terhadap hidangan2 yang dijanjikan pada hari tu ..ada sate beb.. sate itu adalah komoditi makanan rare kat puncak alam tau.. sesemester kat sini..kau nampak sate, kau mesti pandang ayam Hot n spicy KFC sebelah mate je dah. tambah lagi dah kena dipaksa bayar utk dinner tu dan hakikat yang diri dah terasa muak gile mengadap nasi goreng ikan masin mak cik cafe yang terasa dah semakin tak masin tu.. ( mak cik buat low salt diet ke cik?) kami semua meninggalkan aktiviti harian mengadap ulangan Nur kasih di intenet ke Shah Alam
matahari dah nak masuk tido. baru bergegas nak bersiap2. 8 orang nak berebut 1 toilet.. bayang la berapa lama nak bersiap2 tu. jamuan katanya stat kul 8.. rilex lagi kul 6.30 ptg..suma x mau bersiap2 awai2, takut makeup rosak sbb peluh. waktu magrib nak nak masuk, baru terkocoh2 calit mekap, calit la apa yang patut.. asl x nampak cam opera cina anak bukit dah.. tapi kalo ko terlebih makeup pun sapa nak heran..ntah2 kau boleh dapat "flower of the night" hapa.. hikhik. Waktu ni, yang x penah2 bermakeup atau x tau nak pakai makeup pun buat2 la muka kesian kat housemate len nak mintak pinjam set MAC baru dia.. nasib baik dapat..hahaha
sampai di INTEKMA kul 8.10 ptg.. korang buat muka innoncent..macam x kn ada kat sana kul brapa. majlis x mula lagi. alaaa , biasa la janji Melayu.. Duduk rilex2 kat luar dulu sambil dok pasang mata tengok baju sapa paling glam..pastu dok gelak2 bila tengok fesyen pelik2 junior. berfoto gedik beberapa puluh snap ntah..yang pasti, tanda peace mesti ada( x da gaya len).. baru chill kononnya.bila masuk dewan..dapat tau orang separate kitaorang ngan junior.. Ape nerake dorang neh.. Nampaknya Pn diktator tu buat perangai lagi la.. wattheheng la camni. aku balik kang.. tapi ingat balik, padan muka aku camtu..abih duit makan aku 2 minggu kat situ ja.. nak ngadap megi lagi.. OH TIDAK!!
( penat kitaorang bagi sama aksessori tau.. yang kat tangan tu.. last2 kn dok asing2.. mana bleh, camna nak braksi camtu)
hati dah panas. marah dah berkepuk2 dah..tunggu asap kuar je nih. tapi muka kena manis jugak, baru saham naik.. silap2 ada orang magazine dtg ka, x pun orang surat khabar dtg ka, mana tauboleh jadi cover girl ke.. ( dreamy mode). suma orang pun x puas ati.. last2, setelah buat perundingan sulit ngan junior len, dapat jugak berkumpul satu meja kitaorang 8 orang. lantak la Dr diktator, kitaorang dah bosan diarah bt benda x berfaedah ni. Kalo nak bt meja asing2 tu, nak buat sesi suai kenai, x de maknanya, bukan minggu orientasi pun.. lagipun aku dah tetiap tahun jadi feci bdk junior dah kenai pun. Dont do thing as u please la.
pas bejaya menghasut si junior ubah tempat, keadaan jadi tenang r balik.. biasa la, dah dapat apa yang nak.. tenang r, ko nak bikin riot lagi buat pa kan.
kadang2 menjadi sorang narcissistic itu x bermakna anda menpunyai penyakit mental yang serius. ( gambar hiasan semata2)
( single but x semestinya available. sapa2 nak no dorang YM aku.. muahahaha..)
( jeng3.. aku sgt x suka detik ni.kenapakah ni..adakah aku berjaya mendapat princess/flower of the night?...nantikan jawapannya)
( pertandingan teka tangan sapa paling gemuk?)
( persembahan oleh dak2 junior- pakai buang-stacy. Gile hebat r dorang.. x penat2 menari.. aku nak join dah baju x seswai plak..( alasan2))
( persembahan tarian Balqis? ke lagu hapa ntah- aku kan x kacip sgt ngan lagu mlayu neh.. )
jawapan bagi soalan tadi...bukan nak puji diri sendiri.. tapi kepada seseorang yang ngata aku x usaha, (mcm Dr dictator and Nurse I-THINK-i'm-PERFECT) and dun have the right attitude to learn tuuu.. Aku sedang terasa nak tayang besar2 slip xm au kat dia.. Dun u dare insult me when u dont even noe me.. tapi sbb aku kan baik kan, aku x la malukan kamu mcm kamu malukan aku.. i noe i'm better than u.
( eksited jumpa datin Norjuma, si nina sempat bagitau reporter Kosmo suruh dtg ..hahaha.. jangan mara r kak eja.. )
kesimpulannya: -last2 x da sate pun.. aku TERTIPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. aku tertedaya.. CCHAISSSSSS! - ntah kenapa, aku berasa x best pun dapat adiah tu.. sbb tgn yang memberi tu mulutnya dok memperli aku.. ntah hapa2 la) -jadi orang yang bawak nkamera tu sangatla x best bcos, di akhirnya gambar ko ada sektul dua je dalam kamera tu.. x puas ati tul!!
ok.. stakat ni je akunak membebelk, megiku dah kembang dan ada ciri2 nak ditakabihkan macam biasa, Slamat malam puncak alam. moga2 keja multimedia aku siap jua minggu ni.. *sigh*
shock! hurt!! dismayed!! and most of all I"M HURT AND I"M HEART BROKEN!!
i totally feel like a doormat today.. Step upon, ignored and ridiculed..
i'm sorry that i am born with these weaknesses.. but i'm working hard to overcome this.. and u said that i didn't put any effort to do anything?" dont..please don't EVER SAY THAT!! you've just kill me with those words..
yes i'm not really that fit to be working with you.. but do u have to do that... yes i'm stupid, clumsy and all.. but dont say things as if i didn't give enough effort to learn.. dont..
u'd better stab me than say those thing.. it's less painful than bearing the weight of your words..
i know i have my fun for the week.. ( did u guys?) our last paper for the semester ended last friday (13th.. same date bae releases his "wedding dress" song..yay.. more reason to celebrate) and despises the fact that i spend most of the study week finishing up my clinical portfolio.. gladly i think i did very well back then.
oh yeah.. where were i..
for those who have been reading this rambling blog of mine.. u would know that i'm a fan of the Fly Fm's Pagi show.( ask nisa.. tetiap pagi mesti dok dengar aku gelak sorang2 dlm keadaan separuh tido dari kul 5pg smpai 9) so.. it's their 4th anniversary last saturday... and what kind of fan would that made me if i didn't go kan.. dragging nina to go wit me.. and after losing our way to One Utama for an hour ( from PJ to damansara utama and back to PJ.. Haish..) we've made it to OU after some painstaking effort to find parking lot.
( muka stress sbb sesat)
i dont really know when did the "party" really started.. but the night concert starts at 8. it was already raining a bit when it started, make me wonder why everytime i went to a concert, it rains? ( Avril's concert also the same.. ujan..macam nakbagitau.. balik la woi!!) the crowd rocks!! and the sound system just superb ( memangla.. dah duduk pun dkt2 ngan speaker dia.. maunya x superb)
frankly speaking, i hardly know any of the artists featured.. memangla kan.. lainla kalo ko bagi wonder girls ke. ss501 ke, 2pm ke, big bang ke.. aku conform akan beria-ia nakberhimpit di tengah2 crowd tu..haha. one thing 4 sure.. i only aim to take picture there..heh
( konsert konsert jugak..makan tu xleh tinggal punya.. kena kumpul tnaga beb..)
(the pagi show DJ.. (^.^)
( nadia, jules and hunny madu)
( waktu ni si Dj tu suruh kitaorang teka who's the next act 2 be on stage.. yang si mamat kat blkg aku asyik dok jerit, " rabbani.. Hijjaz" hahaha gila tul la )
finding for the day: 1.i think i'm in love with Yuna's voice sooooo very much.. yes i know the "dan sebenarnya" song.. and i dont quite like it.. but i'm totall swept away when she sang " deeper conversation". LOVE it so much!! and the song have been humming in my head since then.. hurm.. is it time for me to get back to the local music?
( ntah sapa la tuan empunya payung gerai tu.. aku sangat bengang la ngan manusia terbabit.. orang dtg bkn nak payung woi...agak2 r nak bwak payung tu)
( no superman?.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
2. Faizal tahir rocks dude!!. I always love his performance but seeing it live, it's even better. it's funny when he said, " i wiill not take off my shirt". during his performance.. haha.. bet he still remember the consequences of doin that until now.. ( but.. really, small matter la sal bkk baju tu.. * cough* unless it bae* cough* ( nosebleeds). he starts off with "bencinta", Oh boy.. u should seen how happy Nina and the Kueja was when he sang that.. Exsited abih.. then followed by 3 Mj's songs.. Then i'm the one who gets excited. haha.. Love the time when he and the other guitarists plays' to "beat it", " the guy in the mirror" and "who's bad."... they were totally awesome!!!! 3. i never knew much about 'disagree 'but i kinda know some of their song.. They were the first to start. love their opening where they mix the traditional malay's music with their song.. it really works!! and i must say.. i think i... l.. liike em too.
4. it was raining even heavier when "estranged " perform..I felt bad for them that most of the crowd ran off for shelter.. even us.. hehehe.. Nina wants to stay for bunkface performance.. but the rains gets heavier, plus, it is already 11 at that time. imagine, getting from damansara to puncak alam took almost 2 hour.. kalo x blik jugak.. nak kena tahan ngan pak cik guard?
( lali..lali.. ujan suda tulun..)
5. our plan to get out early so as not too get into traffic jam was totally wrong..!!!! WRONG!!!! We spend 1 hour and a half just trying to get out of the parking lot. weouh!! and what more frustrating than having to listen to bunkface in the car.. in the car.. NOOOOO.. i felt like crying out loud, we are still in the parking lot, " silly lilly and " situasi" was on.. the car wasn't moving a bit, and later they have firework.. AND WE ARE STILL IN THE PARKING LOT!! damn! i knew I should have stay until the end.. WE reach home at 1am. (T.T)
moral of the day:
kalo nak pegi memana tu.. niat musti baik.. kalo x, sesat r nanti.. betul x tipu.. Pegi semayang dulu, jngn nak tannguh smpai time dah sampai kat destinasi. Ini kisah sebenar ni...
kalo kena ujan. balik trus cpt2 g mandi.. kan nina kan.. Tu la.. orang dah pesan.. degil lagi. kan dah demam.
walaupun anda berpikir macam anda dah sangat pandai nak kuar cepat2 utk elak jam.. anda patut tau.. ada ramai lagi manusia pun ingat dorang je pikir keluar awal bleh elak jem.. jd, x da maknanya pemikiran tu sbb anda tersangkut dlm jem jugak akhirnya.
dan tolong jangan curi payung kedai mamak di tempat makan berhampiran anda dan bawak ia ke konsert terbuka macam ni.. anda menpunyai risiko tinggi untuk dibaling kasut atau slipar buruk oleh orang belakang anda yang bengang sbb x nampak pentas sbb anda.
kalo nakberebut hadiah yang dibaling daripentas.. jangan berangan la kalo anda berada 100 kaki dari pentas tu.. walaupn anda lompat inggi manapun, tangan anda ttp ketot untuk mencapai hadiah yang dibaling tu.. baik duduk diam2 kat blkg sudah.
apa2 pun terima kasih kpada penaja kenderaan pada haritu.. Cik nina.. Kamsahamida.. moga2 anda cpt sembuh demam. dan jugak kepada cik ilah, kueja, ema an dila sbb menyokong usaha nak meronggeng pada malam tu."jaamu dikenang sampai konsert sterusnya" chewah.. heh
Malaysia to adopt Japanese as the third language..
MAJI DE? aku macam nak tergelak pun ada bila baca berita ni semalam.. sbb dulu ni bila aku ngan Hazrina dok pakat2 belajar cakap jepun dalam kelas time form 3 ada je mata2 tengok kitaorang macam la kami ni alien.
pastu bila aku dengar lagu jepun je, ada je orangs sibuk2 tanya.. " korang dengar ni paham ke? " x pun mesti buat muka macam aku pelik.. Ye.. aku tersangat benci orang camni.. yang x leh trima org len yang x sama ngan dia.. " music is universal,the language of music is global.." x payah nak paham pun liriknya nak tau tu lagu sedih ke x.
tup2 pas kuar sekolah... orang2 yang menjakikan aku tu tetiba lak jadi peminat lagu2 jepun ni.. Teringin ja hati ni nak gelak kuat2 kat dorang tu..macam nak rewind balik je apa yang dorang dok kata tu. . tapi x sampai ati la..
pastu bila aku dah beralih ke bhasa len.. perkara sama jadi.. tapi pastu bila tetiba K-POP jadi trend..mereka2 tetiba mendeclare diri sbg pengikut K-POP lak.. mmg cheeese tul la golongan ni... i dun care bout the trend, i just do what i like and apparently, that thing become the trend soon after some time.. So don't judge me unless u r sure that u will not do the same thing as i did.. Sbb aku terasa macam nak tunjal je kepala dia pastu.
so pasni.. makin ramai r orang tau bahasa jepun kan.. dan dalam brita tu pun kata yang dorang akan mintak student malaysia yang balik dari studi kat jepun jadi tenaga pengajar bahasa tu.. Hehe.. IDA..... dah ada la peluang keja kamu ni.. tapi x leh goyang kaki sgt la.. haha
Sayangnya aku dah kuar sekolah dah.. Ruginya x leh blajar Bhs jepun macam budak2 ni dapat. Nak masuk Asma balik la.. lagipun dok U ni pun dah jadi macam sekolah jugak.. x terasa budaya Universiti langsung bila kena ngan org2 yang x paham sistem neh ( sori.. aku emo lagi sebenarnya)
HAppy 22th CHOI SEUNG HYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got my Enterpreneurship paper today.. but i cant help grinning like an idiot in the exam hall remembering that today is his birthday..
( who said that u can't speak with your eyes?..LOL)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hope to see more of your acting and rapping in the future.. ( ^.^)
( me at random.. waiting for inspiration to finish up my portfolio.. but still no idea come to mind..sooo.. this is what i do instead.. Yeay.. the first drawing for this semester..haha..it seem i have loose some skill already.. )
hurm.. kenapa stiap kali aku tulis sal Big bang mesti dalam English.. pelik2..
She is 99.9% VIP,hard core cassopeia, having major weakness to resist cute korean and japanese guy.
a lil bit haywired in mind due to much exposure to j/k-pop radiation..but refuse any treatment whatsoever to cure this "disease"
She's currently juggling life between fandoming and the hardship of keeping up with with the real world.
"Sure I am this day we are the masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strengths; that it pangs and toil are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our cause and unconquerable will to win, victory will not denied us."
suddenly feel like wanting to have a pet dog.. 
