things that i miss..

konbanciwa..
再！★★***＼（＾Ｏ＾）／*** ★★デビュー！
last 2 month was seriously MAJI hectic ne..
so tensed that i really have no mood to even scribble anything..
but now that the breast and cervical cancer campaign has finally over.. i can finally breath a bit at work..
no more Ot until 8pm I hope after this..
well, not meaning to complain or anything.. but I cant help feeling afraid of going home alone at night at that time..

maa..  a lot have happened last few month.. but the highlight would always be that I was robbed on my way to work..
I am still  traumatised over the whole thing .., that even hearing a motorcycle passing by can send me into panic mode.. (
and like adding salt to the fresh wound, we were short of staff that day, i'm the only nurse in the department, and we got a special procedure which i have to stay at work until late in the evening..
and not forgetting the fact that i couldnt get back home for Raya Haji.., lost the house key ( due to the snatch thief)..and patients on that day was like  Asededjky@$&*--------> too many to cope!!!!!!
Story of my life.. （ _ _ ）..........o 

Maa.. all that passed already ne.. SO.. lets hope for the best in the coming weeks..

_________________________________________________________________

Since its already a new year in the Muslim calendar, i have made a resolution that i will  try to do things that i miss a lot since i started working, the one i always want to do but then too lazy... or too messed up and dont have the right spirit to do it..
I WILL STARTS MAKING CARDS AND PAINTS AGAIN!!!!!

so lets begin!!

 a thank you card for NiNA's microbiologist.. too lazy to tink of anything more fancy..
maybe i'll try to add on some more to it later..

oh well.... the pic is blur..
but it's my official VIP Product label.. ( haha.. cam la ada company betul)
actually its supposed to look like a man in cap ( cough* YB*cough*) posing with a peace sign

this is for Ekin's wedding this Sunday.. We'll be going to Johor for the wedding tomorrow.. Yoshi!!!! Can't wait!! And Yeah, the Vip logo is kinda.. well.. not well cut.. but who cares right?

I think over the years, i have been making a LOT of cards to give to others, but i never record any of them in photo.. so i never knew what are my previous cards look likes.. except the ones that i give to mum and dad lah.. better starts recording em now...

next.. painting maybe..

traGEEDEE October..

it's been a whole month since i last update ne..

and i offficiall DID NOT GO to the concert( although my mind was only thinking about it all the time before it was held) But I live through that fact.. * laugh*

been reading the news on the Big bang scandal earlier this month...

maa... i really hope what ever happened would not cause em to change anything..I like em the way they are now.. the way they are always.. and it would be so sad if the group disbanded( not that i was wishing for that to happen.. but looking at the situation.. hell no please)

I never like any other musician as much as i LOVE Big bang.. and they are the only group that i really realy reallyyyyyyyyy  update on to.. Please YG.. dont act stupid..

WHY DO ALL GOOD THING HAVE TO END? 

can we stop right there.. right now ... go back to the time when things were easy and happy

Even i know that they are too good to be true.. An idol with no flaw..Maji de? Are you kidding me.?
they have their own worries and prob, and streess too so.. can quite comprehend why Gd did that.. And i couldn't hate him for that.. But still, the price of that action is too high ne. *sigh*

gd, you such a heart breaker ( TnT)

why cant the bad boy image just remains there as it is?Just an album concept.. and nothing more than that.  Just leave it there.. 

Things been going pretty hectic these day.. With all the breast cancer prevention campaign going on..

Being able to meet and help many people was a fun thing to do.. but only if you are not pressured by time and the surrounding.. 

it limit your attention to a patient ( while in your mind you are thinking of other patient), and make me impatient and stressed 

I think i'm not being trully empathic when consoling patient because i dont have much time for them..I FAIL to give the best for one patient.!! and the feeling SUCK so bad!!

for those who have a family history of cancer, please.. please make an effort to have a body and blood checkup ne.

 we have several patient diagnosed with breast cancer after the checkup..And being there when they heard the news was giving me such a hard time...In a buzy day like these days, I couldnt give you my time while i wanted to do just that.. 

i wanted to be that helping hand-when they feel that the world starts moving without them.. at least for that short period of time... 

AT LEAST FOR THAT SHORT PERIOD OF TIME FRAME.. THAT TIME.. THAT PLACE..

  i'll keep on trying!!! Gambaru Me.. 

show me love ( not a dream)

ok.. selain dari lagu kat jukebox kat atas.. tajuk lagu ni langsung x da kaitan ngan apa yang aku nak tulis..
Saja bikin gempak sikit tajuknya..

sebulan x ngadap kamu encik fesbuk dan blogspot... sebulan hati aku aman tanpa rasa macam nak hupdate status tetiap jam... Sebulan jugak aku tertinggal sebarang brita remeh2 kat dunia fana ni ... chewah.. Aku rindu kamu RAMADHAN..

pas abih berhibernasi dari laptop amnya dan internet khususnya.. Hari Ini.. YA  Hari Ini .. aku tersanggggaaaaaaaaaaattttttlah terkejut membaca post terbaru YGhype ....

pasai
.
...
......
pasai.


KOREAN WAVE MUSIC FESTIVAL 2011 IN KL!!!!!!

with GD and TOP ..................... an VI ( Ok.. i admit.. still dun quite like this guy..But I like his song nevertheless)

      So lovin these 2 badass.. haha

ok.. so u already know about it..( Ok..diam.. sila buat2 eksited macam baru2 tau jugak)

DAMN....

rasa nak pi sesangat !!!!!

but Tiket  rock pitt mahai kot.. tambah bila aku kena bawak Jeton... double tu.. ( tambah belanja raya haritu.. mmg makan rumput ja la aku bulan ni)

and also .. my YB is not there.... so kurang trill sgt la nak pi..

why la bukan konsert BB kat sini?


still undecided nak p ke tak.. but if the ticket is available until next week.. probably goin.. if not.. JAAA MATA ne!!!   aku nak tunggu jugak full BB concert kat mesia..

so really, BIG BANG ;Show me Love  ( not a dream ) 
please have a concert here in malaysia.. ( preferably in bkt jalil not stadium merdeka)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
on another note:

hari raya di Aloq staq panas !!! sudah sunburn tahap karipap terlebih masak dalam kuali.. Selasa ni ada appointment ngan doktor lagi..... Sure kena leter punya... ( Dr: i told u dun go into the sun..Me:  " but i dun go into the sun.. i just play under the sun" ) Rasa malas nak jumpa Dr la macam ni...

Before I forget...

Sbenarnya entry ni dah bertahun dah aku buat kat LJ.. tp sbb LJ dah x bberapa bermakna sejak x leh download ngan megauplaod dan megavedio dah.. LJ ku semakin bersawang... huhu.. Since entry ni adalah entry feberet aku kat LJ.. aku nak menrecycle ia balik.. haha.. ( sbnarnya malas nak hupdate..) So.. esp to kayers...
I'm PROUD TO BE ONE OF YOU!!!

• Jul. 8th, 2009 at 11:31 PM

sebab tetiba je aku terasa sangat rindu sama sekolah lama aku, aku merelakan diri sendiri buat menda alah yang ditag kpd aku neh. Daripada mengusha budak2 lelaki dekat asrama depan pura2 baca buku, baik aku bt benda len. Manala tau nanti dia ingat aku ni rajin bt assignment ke..hahha

Let see how much you remember and how much you regret your high school years... 

1. Who were your seatmates? 

F1: Nadzirah F2: syapikah Najian + Naemah F3-HAjar + Haizum F4-Tehah F5-Tehah jugak (macam ada konspirasi bagi aku dpt tpt 2 lagi ja)

2. Still remember your English teacher? 

HUh... English teacher.. Aku paling suke Cikgu english tym F3, tapi dah lupa r nama dia.. PN Zarina kot ngan Teacher Vijayanthi. tapi dlam byk2 cikgu yang ngajar aku aku pling byk x suka cikgu English. Ingat lagi Ms Au suka panggil kelas kitaorang '" lazy bum".. huh ingat lagi tuh.

3. What was your class name? 

Oh...aku sangat suke soalan ni.. aku boleh kata penah masuk suma kelas la. lengkap nama Sultanah Asma

1 sultanah, 2 Asma , 3 Asma , 4 Kedah , 5 Kedah

*nota kakitangandanmulut = S adelah kelas terbaik menengah rendah , A adelahkelas 2nd dan K adelah kelas Utk Budak2 yang amik subjek IT

*nota kukukaki = Aku yang dulu bole tahanla..

4. Who was your love then?

eh?itu soalan sensitip* muka merah* next question..

5. Made friends to the lower years? 

Agak ramai la... tapi sy x glamer macam drum major Band ataupun Ketua pengawas ataupun Kak Pah n the geng

6. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend?

apekah soalan ini...nak memerangkap nih.

girlfriend pastilah ada.... sbb 2 sekolah pompuan.

7. How was your table arrangement in class?

susun dua tym F1, susun 3 time F2 ngan F3 ( aku dok kat depan skali wooo), 2 balik tym F4 ngan F5 ( pun aku duduk kat depan skali jugak.. Bangge2)

8. Made any enemies?

aku x suke cikgu math aku time F2, kenape dia mesti nak tampal nama orang yang Galus Math kat papan kenyataan Math. Mesti r nama aku kekal kat situ sepanjang musim.Argh.. benci r ingat.

9. What games did you play?

huh.. batu seremban.. ? aku kaki kayu la..tulang reput x kacip ngan game2 ni sangat . selalu aku jadi tukang tepuk kat belakang jer.. Aku kan penyokong yang setia. Tapi aku mesti pastikan nama aku termasuk dlm list peserta Marathon sekolah la tetiap tahun. Walaupun antara orang terakhir dapat mata, tapi saya suke menda ni. Tapi aku aktif benda len yang bukan sukan r.

10. Did you buy your lunch?

wajibla.. dah bangun pagi pun liat, mana ada time nak bwk bekal.. tapi selalunya mkanan kat Kefeteria Asma cpt abih.. aku slalu makan biskut Tiger beli kat Ko-op jer.. Tu pun kadang2 ada geng2 mengecek biskut tu..

11. Were you a party animal?

Parti binatang? x penah jumpa pulak..

manade.. saya budak baik la time sekolah dulu, suci murni macam Safi..

tapi sejak masuk U ni dah sedikit tercemar la..tapi sy still berasa sy ni budak baik jugak.

12. Were you well known in your school?

Rasanya tidak. kecuali di kalangan pengawas yang jaga kat depan porch sekolah awal2 pagi. nama aku wajib ada dalam buku dorang. tapi aku x puas hatila, kenapa ada sorang senior prefect tu , macam x sabar2 nak tulis nama aku dalam buku dia, x sempat aku nak turun dr kereta, dia dah siap tulis nama aku dah.. Nampak sgt keglameranaku terserlah di awal2 pagi.

13. Skip classes?

time Kelas Jahitan Pn Rozana Luxamana..aku mesti cari alasan x mau pegi sekolah. ngeri r kelas 2 , dah r aku memang x berbakat dalam jahit menjahit ni, Dia plak macam tau2 je aku memang x kacip ngan keja2 orang pompuan ni, selalu je bt round time aku guna mesin Jahit, Salah jahit je aku mesti kena cubit.. Dah la yang mesin tu pun , asal aku guna je bt perangai.. Memang Cis la kelas jahitan dulu. sbb tu sampai skrg aku still x pandai jahit.

14. Did you get suspended/expelled?

walaupun saya kaki dating lambat tetiap hari ke sekolah walaupun En Yusub dah pecut kereta Wira itam dia hari2 mengalahkan micheal shumaker ( time tu dia femes lagi), tapi aku x penah r kena warning nak kn suspend pun. Saya kan budak baek.. heh.

15. Can you sing the school song?

Sekolah Sultanah Asma,

Lahir dari cita-cita,

Mendidik serikandi bangsa,

Berjasa sepanjang masa,

Berjanji setulus hati,

Berikrar semurni kata,

Belajar, berilmu, berbakti,

Tertunai harapan semua.

Dengan tekad dan keyakinan,

Berazam mencapai kejayaan,

Hadapi dugaan, cabaran,

Demi kesejahteraan masa depan.

Oh sekolah tercinta,

Mekar subur perkasa,

Namamukan diplihara,

Dengan peribadi mulia.

*aku tulis sendiri tahu,aku tidak salin dan tampal

16. What was your favorite subject? 

walaupun aku suka buat2 rajin, tapi sbnarnya aku memang amat malas blajar, tambah time add math.. (kalau boleh nak antuk kepala kat dinding sbb terasa terlampau bodoh nak paham benda yang diajar tu) .eh.. silap soalan .Aku sentiasa bersemangat time kelas Seni..Kalau Pn Kartini x buat klas minggu tu.. aku akan sgt down spanjang minggu. Oh..dan Kimia, time form 5, sbb terasa paham benda yang orang len x paham sgt.. bangge lah tu.

Tapi agaknya kalau sir Ong yang ngajar aku fizik, mungkin aku akan sangat minat Fizik kot..*wink.wink* hahahah

17. What was your school's full name? 

Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Sultanah Asma ( alamat aku lupa)

18. Did you go to the dances? 

menari apa? Cak lempong? Oh.. tidak, setakat menari utk pertandingan senamrobik tu adala.. err, jawab soalan ke tuh?

19. Where did you go most often during breaks? 

Pusing2 pekan Alor star.. sampai sekarang pun lagu tu. Dah bosan dah pun asyik tengok benda2 yang sama.

20. If you could go back in time and do it all over, would you? 

Kalau boleh pegi balik ke zaman tu? Wajaibla aku nakkkk sangatttttt. Mesti la aku x melapaskan peluang tu.x bosan pun. Kalau boleh patah balik, aku nak pastikan aku mesti buli Adib sebelum dia stat buli aku..hahaha, belajar main gitar dari Ida, datang awal 1st day persekolahan supaya boleh pilih tempat. Pastikan aku mintak balik semua projek seni aku dari pn Kartini,( menyesal aku x amikbalikkeja aku tu) blajar lagi banyak sal seni halus, participate dalam banyak lagi xtvt sekolah, share lagi banyak benda dgn Aliaa ngan Erma.. ( pastu sembunyi cd tu dengan pembungkus hadiah sbb x mau bagi teheh nampak), Amik gambar ngan cikgu Harun ngan Sir ONg utk ditunjuk kat anak cucu aku.. ( bahawasanya aku penah bergambar ngan jejaka- most-wanted kat sekolah..heh) Lukis lagi banyak gambar Sir Ong… ohhhhh banyaknya benda aku nak buat.

21. What do you remember most about 5th year? 

Mestilah semua yang berkaitan dengan Kayers. Kamu semua sangat best dan gempak la., pengalaman kena jumpa Mak leha sal projek seni x siap, rombongan ke langkawi ( eh. Tu tingkatan 4).time nak dekat xm, blajar waktu petang ngan Aliaa ( yang jd sgt awkward sbb Aliaa tetiba diam.. macam ada yang x betui ja), pesan McD time bulan posa..( kes geng2 uzur).. Upha ngan nadia dok buat pertandingan pantun 2 kerat.."Awam Goreng" dan "ikan gering Koreng" Aliaa dan .. banyak la..

22. Worst memory in 5th year? 

Fail ntah brapa kali berturut2 subjek Add math ( tapi aku dapat B jugak time SPM.. Oh, biarkan aku berbangga sekejap dengan diri aku yang dulu.. diriku sekarang?.. boleh tahan kot), Kena gelak ngan ms Au sbb salah sebut “youth”( bebulu tul aku time tu), hari sukan (memang musim paling aku x gemar).Kena tinggal oleh En yusub sbb lambat keluar dari kelas ( sampai kul 7 ptg). Kena kutip sampah sebab datang lambat ( denda le ni)

bila ingat balik, memang sangat best la time kat sekolah dulu.. tapi kenapa dulu nak sangat masa cepat gerak.. I wish we could go back to that moment.

Rindu la dengan:

Sir Ong dan habit dia yang suka sebut OK tu..
Cikgu Sarafudin yang slalu terlelap dalam kelas.
Gelagat Raja dok usha ustaz Faisal.
Kayers ( dan bdk2 pompuan len) yang tetiba jadi diam time Sir Ong lalu kat bilik Sains ( pastu dia sedar orang tengok dia.. dia gelak2 sendiri..Cumel la).
Upha yang slalu bt pertandingan pantun 2 kerat dalam kelas.. ( gile rindu la)
Pah-si ketua yang slalu kelang kabut..da Upha si penolong yang suka pekena orang
Wida yang slalu tido dalam kelas tapi dapat markah tinggi jugak ( jeles x terhingga)
En Rosli dan perut buncitnya terutamanya time dia bersandar kat meja guru..
Adegan menyembunyikan henset time pengawas buat spot check.
Gejala meniru jawapan Add math Raja bila org nak kutip buku.
Erma yang slalu dok usha abang Sue..
Time kelas jadi kecoh time nak bedah Katak waktu Bio.
Sir Tan yang cumel.
Beratur depan kelas, nyanyi lagu negaraku sebelum masuk kelas ( tapi aku slalu x da la .. dah mai lambat)
Time sekolah buat latihan kebakaran tapi x da sesapa pun peduli sbb ingat bunyi loceng time rehat…satu kelas rentung r centu.
jam dinding F4 yang Pah letak dalam kelas dulu..memang semua orang tetiba jadi concern dengan time ketika itu.
Kegilaan Pah kat Jerry sampai beli buku novel Meteor garden dengan drama dia skali..
Kegiatan menyeludup kaset Energy & Vcd Jepun ngan Erma,dan Aliaa.
Choral speaking..dengan budak kelas N ke M ntah
Pertandingan senamrobik, yang adik pah jadi jurulatih, pastu muncul gelaran”Penguin” kat Ana.
En harun yang "ensem" bak kata Aliaa dan ahli2 fanclub dia especially time hari guru. Mesti pengawas yang bagi bunga kat dia gembira x terkira.
budak2 asrama yang selalu tido dalam kelas menjelang hari2 penilaian asrama gemilang.
dan yang paling rindu, berkumpul beramai2 time pertandinagn band, sambil dok boo budak kolej.
Kena panggil'"pREP " oleh geng2 yang x best tu ( bdk2 kolej)
.

ONCE AN ASMARIAN ALWAYS AN ASMARIAN!!Even if i was given a chance to change anything back then , i will still choose all of you!!!

seblog entry terbuka kepada Aliaa tersayang.. ( ewah.. hahaha)

Tema: irama Malaysia + hip hop

Ahem.. ( clear throat)

Kehadapan dan kekiri kanan sedari Ellie yg jauh di retina tapi dekat di hippopotamus hippocampus, harap sedari sihat hendaknya. Lama udah x menerjah berita sedari cam si encik rambut kerinting yg ntah apa namanya tu.. bagemana hidupmu skrg? Sorry ( ey..silap tema) maaf krn tak bjaya menjadi kawan yang baik kerana kekedekutan kredit dan seribu alasan yang bersekongkong dengannya.. maaf krn x jaga-dalam-sentuh( keep in touch) lama.. tapi percayala( baca macam nyanyi lagu Ning baizura)- Rindulah kamu ( ok.. gelila pulak bila baca sendiri.. haha)

Utk buat cerita pendek jd panjang.. ni nak habaq mai satu cerita..

Genre: seram –seram sejuk

Klasifikasi : untuk tontonan 23 thn ke bawah sahaja mengikut calendar cina..

Dalam dunia ni ada ramai orang, tapi dalam ramai2 orang ni ada 3 ja watak ynag nak diceritakan kat sini.. Jin, Ryo dan Yamapi( watak mungkin bukan jelmaan semata2-kajian pakar menunjukkan ada kaitan dengan yang masih idup dan tak mati)

Jin, Ryo dan yamapi adalah 3 orang homosapien ( bukan homo lain {mudah-mudahanya..amin}) yg telah ditakdirkan utk berjumpa dan bkawan baik . yamapi dan Jin berkwan sejak time tingkatan 4 di sebuah sekolah yang nama lainya School di kalangan scholar yang suka naik scoot. Bagaimana mereka berjumpa tak dicatit di mana2 buku sejarah tamadun awal manusia, tapi disyaki sbb mereka suka melepak2 di pkarangan sekolah tetiap petang mengira kereta2 mewah cikgu, menunggu cikgu yang HARUM berjalan ke keretanya sambil menuggu giliran utk balik. Ada pendapat lain mengatakan mereka terikat oleh satu kebetulan yang mantap, iaitu bapa kpd Jin yg amat dikenali oleh Pi kerana yamapi amat lemah dalam kira2.

Ryo dan yamapi asalnya bukannya baik sangat pun.. Ryo adalah sorang pembuli yang bersama ngan gengnya suka membuli Pi yang comel.. mungkin jeles kerana cikgu yang HARUM itu selalu melintas di depan meja Pi yang terletak betul2 di depan kelas. Tapi sbb Pi sangat baik ati, dia masih berkwan jugak ngan ryo walaupun ryo ada jugak buat dia sakit limpa kadang2. Seperti ujikaki sains yang x berapa betul, ntah mengapa Ryo yang panas+ kuat macam HCl boleh bersebati dengan yamapi yang sejuk+ lembut macam ethanol menjadi sebatian yang berbau buah-buahan. Mungkinkah kerana campuran asid dan alcohol menghasilkan ether dan bukannya bloody mary seperti yang disangka- sangka. Inference berikut telah dipertikaikan sampai ke peringkat PKG.

Yamapi dan ryo dan Yamapi dan Jin x penah mengaku mereka adalah besfren masing2. Mungkin malu, control marcho atau tak terlintas utk mengaku.. tapi mereka bahagia dengan cara mereka.. Jin dan Pi berminat ngan music yang sama dan selalu berbincang pasal sorang awek pujaan bnama izza.. (hohoho) Selagi ada music dan cerita baru ttg awek pujaan, mereka akan bermesej berjam2 lamanya tanpa memikirkan risiko mendapat carpal tunnel syndrome. Jin adalah tempat utk Pi menjadi dirinya yang sebenar tanpa perlu piker tentang pandanagn orang lain terhadapnya. Dia bebas utk menjadi pelik , hodoh, jahat, selekeh, bodoh,gila2 dll di depan Jin. Tapi Pi tak penah memberitahu Ryo atau Jin bahawa dia amat berterima kasih kerana mendapat mereka sbg kawan. Yang dia amat sayangkan mereka spt sorang ahli keluarga. Pi amat yakin yang dia ada banyak masa utk mengucapkan terima kasih dan saya sayang awak kpd Ryo dan Jin.. tapi takdir x semestinya ikut apa yang kita mahukan..

Yamapi diterima masuk Universiti Meiji dalam course yang dia suka, meninggalkan Jin sensorang di kg. Tapi itu bukan penghalang krn mereka masih tahu guna sms dan muka buku dan jurnal hidup masing2. Mesej JIN masih lg jd msg terbanyak dalam henset Pi. Disebabkan jin lg pandai dan lg bijak dr Pi, dia diterima blajar di LA .. memikirkan Jin mendapat kawan2 mat saleh dan bertemu minah2 saleh yang kurang cun dr Izza dan dalam suasana baru, Pi agak sedih sbb takut Jin berubah.. tapi mungkin dia yang salah..

Setelah graduasi, Pi terus mendapat byk work offer, dia menjadi terlalu sibuk utk hidup selain daripada kehidupan bekerjanya.. Setiap hari pun bekerja, balik keja terus letih dan terus dengan kerja keesokkan herinya.. Dia terlupa utk bersosial, dia terlupa utk berseronok, dia terlupa tentang Jin dan Ryo.. dia terlupa menjadi dirinya sendiri. Mesej antara dia dan jin semakin kurang sampai ke satu tahap, dia memikir banyak kali utk memsg Jin,Disebabkan cuti mrk x sama, mereka tak penah dah kuar berpeleseran di secret recipe atau mc donod terpilih sambil bergosip2 berjam2 sampai pihak restoran menjeling2 tajam dengan pandangan Bila-nak-kuar-ni-woi! . BANDAGE yang mengikat mereka semakin terlerai, . mereka hilang Idea bila mahu bercakap hingga akhirnya mesej yang dihantar hanyalah berisi, “ neee.... Aitaiiiiii” dan Cuma berbalas “ aitai yo” sebelum Pi menjadi kurang bijak utk membalas dan menamatkan msg.

Sesekali Pi berasa amat rindu dengan masa2 lepas dimana mereka boleh bercerita apa sahaja kepada satu sama lain. Dia rindu utk “berfanboying” ( heh) dengan Jin, rindu utk tersengih sorang2 macam kerang busuk depan henset atau laptop, rindu utk jerit OMGGGGGGGGGGG atau MAJI DE??????????bila dgr berita2 sensasi yg Jin cerita daripada LA. Senang cerita this YAMAPI misses his JIN.

Jauh di myocardium yamapi, dia ingin menjerit... I miss you!! Dan meminta maaf kepada Jin kerana berubah sikap , kerana menjadi punca kenapa hubungan mereka jadi macam lauk yang terkurang garam, mcm sambal belacan yg x da belacan, macam wasabi yang x berkaler hijau..dan yang paling dia ingin katakan adalah... , You are an important piece of puzzle that i’m beginning to realizing i’m loosing because of my foolishness.. My best friend. Without you, i would not be complete, i’m not me!.

Yes.. Pi misses Jin so very much!!

Tamat part 1.. to be continued..

*Skrin hitam muncul *

*credits muncul

Based on a true story...

Screenplay, editing, scrip, editor, director, producer,wardrobe,camera,stunt, besboy,sound,makeup- IZZA..

this stupid heart wish for.....

i just wish...............
that..



MY heart stop pumping so hard when I saw his pic or him updating his status..


demmit....

after all these years....why still cant 4get him...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DARN IT!!!! 


this crazy little thing called love.... ( or is it?)

Why bother?

Last few weeks ago, one patient went for a Ct scan of the thorax and abdomen in our hospital. A very elegant woman in her fifties.

I called her in, with a thin smile, she just walk towards me.

we went quite for a few minutes after I explained to her about the CT scan and prepare her for the test.

this was her 1st time doing the scan, so i understands if she felt anxious about it..

I looked at the diagnosis made by the specialist;- CA BREAST..

now i understand what that sad face is actually saying. My heart felt for her. 

we talked for quite some time. She has just receive the news about her disease that morning-the lab result from her breast biopsy show that the cell was cancerous.. She was still in a shock., and most likely still unable to accept the news..

I wish there is more that i can do for her except just listening to her feeling and holds her hands in that time. Im half wishing that she could just cry if she want to, because it will ease her sadness, but she didn't. ( And i'm half cursing myself for being the one near to tears). She was calm during the whole conversation, telling me about her life, living as a single mother raising 3 children all by herself after her husband died. 

I asked her about her feeling upon hearing the news. 

"i'm scared" .. then she stops and look downs..

"i'm not scared of dying.. i'm scared to think how will my sons live without me.. can they cope? i dont want to be a burden to them.. "

a drop of water fell down her cheek.  

This is women who just receive the news that she have cancer, she should be thinking about herself but all she could think was her children..( which all are already working and over 22 yrs old already)And I was thinking, "Our  parents sure are the greatest person in the world, if only we know and appreciate them before they are gone"  

we hugged  before she left..with the same thin smile, she walks aways 

I ran into the changing room.. Looked at the pic of my parent in the cellphone.Cry.

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on another occasion, a bunch of girls went out for dinner.. 

In the car when everyone else was chatting about around,  someone's cellphone rings. 

it was her father on the line..

the others went quite for a while..

As the girl on the phone speaks to her parents, someone else from the back sit suddenly snap, " Why must she always talks to her parents everyday? I think even when she wants to get married she will talks to her parents about it" 

The other went quite still..

The girl with the phone clench her hand so hard.. forcing herself to calm down from slapping that backseater so hard in the face.. 

" It was my business.. ( suka ati aku la)" was all she could says.

then someone else's cellphone ring.. It was the girl in the back seat's cell.. 

Her boyfriend is on the line.. . And she have been calling him even before they started the journey to the restaurant  and 30 minutes after that and 20 minutes after the 2nd call.. 

I couldnt help but to smirk and kick her hard in the stomach in my imagination.. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So.. it is WRONG to talk to your parents everyday, but it is totally OK to talk to your boyfriend every minutes.. 

Oh, I get It.. Parents are supposed to be remembered only when you have problems with your boyfriend and friends.. 

You dont need to asked how are they doing except the moment your neighbor call saying that your mum/dad was warded.. and then you snap back at your parents, " why havent you told me you are sick"  when you called them last month. 

You dont need your parents, so why bother talking to them about their life, why bother care about them when they are always there for 24 years of your life no matter how bad you talk to them.. you will always be their daughter. But you need to keep in touch with your boyfriend every minutes because you need them to like you,  because otherwise he would think you are not interested in him and search for other girl or maybe he will be fuming mad because you didn't call back when you are really busy. 

Yeah.. why bother thinking and keeping in touch with a couple of old people whom have been raising you, give you shelter, Love, education, listen to you when you are sad, tend to your sickness,  give you whatever that you want when in fact that they don't have much for themselves.Always think of your best interest even during the time they are sick.

BUT

it is VITAL to think and call that Guy whom you just met the 3 weeks ago, who you doesn't even know if they really like you for you or they have other intention, always pushing you to tell him every thing that you did that day when you were really tired from working, who doesn't have the intention to have something serious with you in the near time..   

YEAH.. WHY BOTHER ABOUT PARENTS? Your Boyfriend is obviously very important. 

  

HELL NO!!!

remember when i said that i have a VERY VERY BAD Luck with people..
it's happening again.. and with the same person.. cet
vavik tul la jadi camni lagi esp time aku dah putus harapan nak keja kat sini..

I think i have made it clear that i dont wanna have anything to do wit that girl..
still why ask me to move out with her.. And Why HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( dalam ramai2 orang)
dont wanna work where she work..
dont wanna go out when she tag along ( because mulut dia mmg x da insurance and yes.. I dont like narcissistic-nosy attention seeker)
Don wanna but in when she's busy seeking attention- HEll, I dont care about your boyfriend or your life, I dont EVEn wanna fucking care about YOU!!
I dont wanna act like i enjoyed her STUPID INSULTING remarks about me( which she obviously think is funny/ amusing)
I dont wanna act normal when I really feel like hitting her hard in the face the next time she open her stinky mouth and insult me.
and doesnt that make it REALLY CLEAR that..
LIVING WITH her in the SAME HOUSE again Is impossible for me!!!!

seriously think I'm SICK of all this game of life..
I'm SICK OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's high time for me to get out of PJ..
there are thing I can tolerate..macam keja ngan Si tukang Kipas boss yang semakin malas bt keja, tahan kena marah ngan boss yg racist, tahan kena tengking ngan patient ultrasound yang tak reti bahasa..diperli/dimarah oleh Radiologist yang pro-si tukang kipas, di-ignore oleh rumate aku dari 2-3 minggu lepas.. Aku boleh tahan ngan suma tu..

TAPI

but

living with the bitch-from-hell is not something i can take right now( or the next 2 month)-unless you really want to see me going seriously depress..

AND HELL NO!!!! I dont wanna relive my 1st year depression again..
i'm walking out of all this mess...
she's going to torture my feeling NO MORE..

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nothing much to say...
Just Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!




cant help smiling like an idiot watching this movie.. funny and in most part, can totally relate to this movie..

and oh..




MARIO MAURER why do you have to be so Cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw, I wonder what whitening product did Nam( the female lead) use that she became instantly fairer in just a year.. haha..maybe i could get hold of those product too.. ( well, not that i actually have someone in mind to impress.. but who knows, .. Heh) =P

Ok.. cakap banyak pun tak guna.. Tengok je la.. totally worth watching.. Love it to bits!!

mode: In love with Pshone~

A LOVE LETTER TO MR D..

i remember the 1st time i set my eyes on YOU..
so solid and sophisticated..I'm mesmerized
 i cant help thinking about you.. I THINK IT's LOVE
even when i no longer see you nearby,  the  memory of you still linger in my mind..

yesterday, i saw you again..
my heart was beating so fast... I THINK this stupid love come again
this heartache is driving me crazy!!

my heart was saying..
" can i reach for you"
" can I hold you "
" can I ever have you"
dear Mr D, I really want you..


seeing you in the hand of other...
my heart hurt..
I think It's jealousy..
the way you just fit with that other girl,  the way both of you look when you are together..
i want you..
but having you come with a price to pay...and that was something i cant affort right now
Ohoho..

Mr D.. I wonder when will we be  together
getting to know each other ..
to get my hand on your magnificent body...
going everywhere together.. no matter what other may say,
i know as long as we are together,  I'll be the happiest girl there is..
MR D, I know we were always meant for each other..

I REALLY  REALLY WANT YOU  MR DSLR Camera....
hahahaaha

the not-so-sincere-writer,

VIPCOLOGIST..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's is an important date to me..
to the most optimistic person whom always inspire me with his writing..
and always brought me smiles even during my hardest time..
who make goofy boys look adorable and make me starts to go nuts over cute-clumsy-guy-who-doesnt-even-know-he -look-cute-being-goofy..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMAPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
may you still be the most handsome and cool 'goofy' ever!!!!!



and for that catchphrase that  I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE MOST!!!!! sankyu...

I'M POSSIBLE!!!!!!




ohoho..... I like one part in  this CM.. Very much.. *wicked laugh*
just went back from the beach last 2 weeks.. and only 3 things come to mind at that time:
- beach reminds me of Pi very much.. ( which make me love the sea even more, ReGARDLESS of the sunburn i hVE TO suffer the following days (T.T)
2- L'arc en ciel's- shizuka no umi de.. ( well.. it's not that quiet in pangkor anyway.. but the song is sweet..ANYWAY..) next
3- It would be totally GREAT if i have a DSLR with me.. lots of ideas, but i cannot do it with my current digicam.. cet!
which bring me to... the conclusion:


urmh.....I'm  SOOOOO getting myself the Nikon DSLR!!!!!!

la dolce vita..

konbanchiwa minna..

wonder how are everybody doing.. i've been busy being boring, i think i dont have anything to update. * laugh*

when i check the total number of post i've made ( publish or just kept as draft) this is my 101th post.. wah.. that many aa.

i didn't expect myself to write that many nagging thought.. and to think that i first start blogging here because i need an outlet to release my life frustration..having 101 post here, My LIFE must seem like a tragic tale to you.. * deciding to cry or to laugh*

Hope I didn't get you wrongly think that my whole life is like a mess ( well, sometime it is)

LA DOLCE VITA means the sweet life in Italy. it's not that I can read nor understand italian nor am I a fan of the movie.. dolce vita is what i want to achieve by venting out here. SO that i will feel at ease after throwing em out.

i am a person with difficulties to show how I really feel in real life.. i just don't know how to react properly in most cases involving contact with others.

in front of the guy i like, instead of smiling endlessly and shows affection/or whatever it is that the normal girl would do.. my normal reaction would be like this:

Boy :( make a funny statement)

me : *laugh a bit*-if it really funny or just go *.........*

then change the topic without even trying do a fake laugh.

or

Boy : You are very creative la for doing.......... ( this or that) like this . never knew u are so talented

Me: *without much expression* .. urmh.. thanks..

then walk away like its nothing to be really happy about ( while the truth is i feel like flying with glee when he talks)

or the time when someone make me piss off..

All the time.. I can only smile a bit..or make a face and act as if i dont care eventhough i'm boiling inside.

I JUST COULDNT SHOW MY REAL EMOTION IN FRONT OF OTHERS

so that's why this blog was started..

i am always better at expressing them by writing or drawing than to just let run amuk in front of other. It has always works to calm me down.. except that i never have the chance to tell Dr Poet that I fancy him even before we started the drama preparation .That he was such a wonderful actor and that he was like the generator to the whole English class-without him the class was well..not lively. And I want to thank him because in some part or another, college life was bearable. OH Well.. that was old story.. But I can't help to wonder if our lines will cross again.

I think I have the worst luck with people.

When i loathe someone and wove not to EVER meet him/her again.. the next thing I know, i'm stuck with that person. It's true, there's this ex-roomate from Uni whom like to boast about herself or her man,take my thing without even asking, a fulltime attention seeker with loud voice and endlessly talks..talks and talks *shake head*. I thought after we were allowed to find our own place to life during 2nd year in , I would never have to face her again except during class, and it turns out she's living 2 floor above us.. then when have to stay in hostel again, she's next door and after graduated from uni.. she live just a block away from my house. AND i have to face her when me and my close friend went outing together because she live with that friend .Is this a curse or what? knowing this, I tried to shake the feeling i have for her all this while, but heck, if she's acting JUST THE WAY SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.. i doubt that any change is even possible. Maybe i'm blinded by hate..heh

In RL, i really don't speak much, unless it is necessary..

you wouldn't hear me going all girly-girly or gossiping like i did here..( unless you are Aliaa) I hate conversation just for the sake of not being quiet .. how to say this.. urmh.. the kind u did just to break the silence but you don actually want to listen to what the other reply to you..you just hate the quietness. But I like It, silence is golden, It prevent me saying the wrong thing to others and save others from my cynical remarks ( I'm damn good at that actually, just dont let me get it loose.. I can be REAL MEAN.. and i mean IT)

i dont know where this statement lead to.* laugh*

just.. sorry that all of you have to bear with my continuous rambling about life, this is my only way out since i left all my painting kit at home.. Or, i'll turn really crazy

i promise, i will try to update more on the merry side ( which i always so lazy to write about ) to balance with the ugly side( which i always have the energy to write about)

for bearing with me..

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

oh.. and by the way, i got inspiration on title of the blog from jiyoung's tatoo...*wink and laugh* you would have thought of that already.

Jumping Jumping!!

Ok.. after the last entry, i thought that i'll be another 2 to 3 month before i have the mood to wrote anything here..

heck.. I cant keep fangirling to myself..

YG.. you should know i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE you so very much..

A BB concert in Malaysia.. KL even.. what more could i ask for!!

really YG.. I LOVE you.. LOL

Really cant wait for june!!!( please2 don't change the place or time.

GOSH... this song is so damn intoxicating..Already fall in love the moment i heard i.. TONIGHT..
and i swear.. Tabi is so darn cool with the new hair.!!and at the end when he says goodnight..
Oh! i think my heart just went out.. ~ melting

WHAT is RIGHT.. kinda like a children song for some reason.. you keep on humming to the song.. ( although all I could sing out correctly is only the'what is right and what is wrong') haha.

ok.. admit it.. Gd look lovely in here..

he look more beautiful than a real girl.. I'm so jealous!!

somebody to love..
jeez.. *eyes fixed at YB*
Jeez!!!!!* blush*

did someone turn off the fan ..it Hot in here



oo

at first.. i think this song was Unn..a no-no for me.. but it starting to grow on me.. (^.^)V

their new album was somewhat diff from the last one.. But all in the good way.
Like. Like.Like and LIKE again..(if only there's a like button here)
just the cover was DUH! wonder why must they make most of their cover like that.. Hurm..

CANT WAIT for JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* better start practicing the dance steps!!*

working live is totally overrated!!

Remember when you are still a student in some university, all you want at that time is to finish your studies and get into the community as fast as you could..

remember at that time you imagining yourself being a totally different you, more mature, poise, confident and more knowledgeable perhaps..

Yes!! I'm going to be a working women once I graduated from here.. Life would be so much different then" you told yourself..

after working for 6 month..

you liked your job.. and still striving to follow the vibe..

but..

but..

it seem that the way to go or survive at the place is only by flattering your boss, play by her rule.

you have no say on whatever issue that she come up with..

+ workplace politics began to take place more than the working issue..

+ Have to bear with the boss's pet, take over her job( which she messed and never admitting her mistake)..

+ take responsibility of other colleagues mistakes- just because you are higher qualified( while the fact is that you are just starting in the area, so how could I Know everything)

+ try not to be dis-hearted by comment made by others( the colleagues) who don't seem to be able to appreciate what you done ( IGNORANT people are such a pain in the ass!!)

+ You wake up everyday, feeling that job is just a routine from monday to Saturday.. do the same thing everyday.. tired by the end of the day

and then at the end of the day, lay half asleep.. asking yourself.. " what have i actually achieve today?' and just sleep without receiving the answer..

Yeah.. Life is different now.. - for all the wrong reason.

I DONT WANNA LOOSE MY PASSION TOWARDS NURSING.. !!

but given these circumstances.. I'm seeing myself running far away from what i hope to achieve.

I wanna love it here again !!

have I let go of my opportunity to work near home for something that i ends up hating.. ( not quite there yet.. but I fear that it will be one day)

have i lose all that i strive hard for for a job that the only motivation for me to keep on doing it is purely financial based..

i wanna keep on loving you dear colleagues, i wanna keep on enjoying helping you dear doctors, and most importantly,

I wanna be the one who will ease your fear before and during procedure,

A friend when you 1st heard a bad news after a CT/MRI checkup,

A person you can trust all your worries,

i wanna be the best for you .. dear PATIENTs..

Dear me..

PLEASE ALWAYS HAVE THE PASSION AND HEART TO DO GOOD.. no matter how hard the blow come from the surrounding.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
( mother theresa)

One in a mirrion!!

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

his holding a concert in bangkok this April..

LIKE OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

should i go..?

like seriously, should I really go.. ? I want to go sooo DESPERATELY!!!

but hurm.. is it really safe to go to bangkok these days.. * thinking hard*

damn JE, always holding their show, concert in Bangkok ..

why not try changing the venue to Kl instead.. then i wouldnt be having this double thought about goin because there would be no way i', gonna miss seeing da dorky AKIRA, drop-dead-gorgeous-KUROSAGI, Super Cool-AIZAWA SENSEI..ect2

AKU NAK PI TGK PIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!..

At first when encik puan mas told me about his concert, didnt really have any intention to even consider going to this concert. but after some time, cant help but to think of going..

and over time, the thought grows more intense.. huhu

and usually i will follow what my heart tune my mind into

seeing him dancing... ~~~~~~~~~~ heaven~~~~~~~~~~~~~* dreamy mode*

But really, thinking of going to foreign place without any friend doesn't seem inviting at all..

SO.... WHO's COMING WITH ME? haha ( on your own expense i mean)

anyway... just found out the original singer of the song. No wonder the song have so many engrish to it.. LOL

but .. i think his version make more sense..

* put a msg in a bottle*

*track you down by a satelite*- i donno bout you.. but the lyrics doesnt seem to fit well..it's kinda weird even.

and his voice was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better suit for it.. Ok.. heavely Pi biased.. but WTH.

hurm.. wonder, how much is one Baht to RM ?

ne, i know you would be so depress if i'm not there to support you.. * cough*.. LOL

that's more like it.. * doing the nobuta power gesture*

and YEs.. I still have a great crush on you mr Akira san.. ohoho

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feel great to be able to fangirl back.. !!!

feel free to be me for a while.. haha.

I miss you my crazy fangirl self.. !!! Good to have you back.. * pat self*

hoho..

sebuah entry baru akhirnya...!!

konbanchiwa..

ahem.....

* dgn suara ala2 penyimpan mohor raja2)saya dengan ini mengistiharkan, I'm BACK!!!!!!!

finally after some time living without MR LaPPy, I've gotten myself a replacement for 'him'

Ureshii naa!!!!

and since today is a public holiday..

I have more reason to be happy!!!!

WORK...

back in the days when everything is all about study, assignment, exam and skipping class whenever possible ( laugh), I keep wishing that time flew faster than it already does..but i don't think that i wanted to be in the working group that much. I just want to escape University sooo badly, i think most of the post here reflect my misery more than the merry part.

But for most part, I'm blessed to have meet each circumstances although there are still unsettled feeling left behind.

You maybe can forgive, but to forget take a lot of time and strength ne.

Some may say that i hold a grudge to the one who hurt me, but it's not about keeping a bad feeling towards someone, but forgetting each insulting remarks and words throw at you is another thing.

Those who doesn't experience let alone understand what other's been through, I don't think they have any right to say anything. fullstop.

sorry, didn't mean to touch this issue on todays comeback post, just wanna clear something over a statement made by someone. I'm not a vengeful person, but a crack in the heart caused by certain people words or action isn't something that can be mend easily, especially when that person keep doing it repeatedly. WAKARU?

ok.. totally forgotten what i originally want to post..

and my mind is too occupied with the latest discovery of an axillary lymph node swelling in my right. God please let it be a normal swelling, not the one i thought it was.