la dolce vita..

konbanchiwa minna..

wonder how are everybody doing.. i've been busy being boring, i think i dont have anything to update. * laugh*

when i check the total number of post i've made ( publish or just kept as draft) this is my 101th post.. wah.. that many aa.

i didn't expect myself to write that many nagging thought.. and to think that i first start blogging here because i need an outlet to release my life frustration..having 101 post here, My LIFE must seem like a tragic tale to you.. * deciding to cry or to laugh*

Hope I didn't get you wrongly think that my whole life is like a mess ( well, sometime it is)

LA DOLCE VITA means the sweet life in Italy. it's not that I can read nor understand italian nor am I a fan of the movie.. dolce vita is what i want to achieve by venting out here. SO that i will feel at ease after throwing em out.

i am a person with difficulties to show how I really feel in real life.. i just don't know how to react properly in most cases involving contact with others.

in front of the guy i like, instead of smiling endlessly and shows affection/or whatever it is that the normal girl would do.. my normal reaction would be like this:

Boy :( make a funny statement)

me : *laugh a bit*-if it really funny or just go *.........*

then change the topic without even trying do a fake laugh.

or

Boy : You are very creative la for doing.......... ( this or that) like this . never knew u are so talented

Me: *without much expression* .. urmh.. thanks..

then walk away like its nothing to be really happy about ( while the truth is i feel like flying with glee when he talks)

or the time when someone make me piss off..

All the time.. I can only smile a bit..or make a face and act as if i dont care eventhough i'm boiling inside.

I JUST COULDNT SHOW MY REAL EMOTION IN FRONT OF OTHERS

so that's why this blog was started..

i am always better at expressing them by writing or drawing than to just let run amuk in front of other. It has always works to calm me down.. except that i never have the chance to tell Dr Poet that I fancy him even before we started the drama preparation .That he was such a wonderful actor and that he was like the generator to the whole English class-without him the class was well..not lively. And I want to thank him because in some part or another, college life was bearable. OH Well.. that was old story.. But I can't help to wonder if our lines will cross again.

I think I have the worst luck with people.

When i loathe someone and wove not to EVER meet him/her again.. the next thing I know, i'm stuck with that person. It's true, there's this ex-roomate from Uni whom like to boast about herself or her man,take my thing without even asking, a fulltime attention seeker with loud voice and endlessly talks..talks and talks *shake head*. I thought after we were allowed to find our own place to life during 2nd year in , I would never have to face her again except during class, and it turns out she's living 2 floor above us.. then when have to stay in hostel again, she's next door and after graduated from uni.. she live just a block away from my house. AND i have to face her when me and my close friend went outing together because she live with that friend .Is this a curse or what? knowing this, I tried to shake the feeling i have for her all this while, but heck, if she's acting JUST THE WAY SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.. i doubt that any change is even possible. Maybe i'm blinded by hate..heh

In RL, i really don't speak much, unless it is necessary..

you wouldn't hear me going all girly-girly or gossiping like i did here..( unless you are Aliaa) I hate conversation just for the sake of not being quiet .. how to say this.. urmh.. the kind u did just to break the silence but you don actually want to listen to what the other reply to you..you just hate the quietness. But I like It, silence is golden, It prevent me saying the wrong thing to others and save others from my cynical remarks ( I'm damn good at that actually, just dont let me get it loose.. I can be REAL MEAN.. and i mean IT)

i dont know where this statement lead to.* laugh*

just.. sorry that all of you have to bear with my continuous rambling about life, this is my only way out since i left all my painting kit at home.. Or, i'll turn really crazy

i promise, i will try to update more on the merry side ( which i always so lazy to write about ) to balance with the ugly side( which i always have the energy to write about)

for bearing with me..

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

oh.. and by the way, i got inspiration on title of the blog from jiyoung's tatoo...*wink and laugh* you would have thought of that already.

Jumping Jumping!!

Ok.. after the last entry, i thought that i'll be another 2 to 3 month before i have the mood to wrote anything here..

heck.. I cant keep fangirling to myself..

YG.. you should know i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE you so very much..

A BB concert in Malaysia.. KL even.. what more could i ask for!!

really YG.. I LOVE you.. LOL

Really cant wait for june!!!( please2 don't change the place or time.

GOSH... this song is so damn intoxicating..Already fall in love the moment i heard i.. TONIGHT..
and i swear.. Tabi is so darn cool with the new hair.!!and at the end when he says goodnight..
Oh! i think my heart just went out.. ~ melting

WHAT is RIGHT.. kinda like a children song for some reason.. you keep on humming to the song.. ( although all I could sing out correctly is only the'what is right and what is wrong') haha.

ok.. admit it.. Gd look lovely in here..

he look more beautiful than a real girl.. I'm so jealous!!

somebody to love..
jeez.. *eyes fixed at YB*
Jeez!!!!!* blush*

did someone turn off the fan ..it Hot in here



oo

at first.. i think this song was Unn..a no-no for me.. but it starting to grow on me.. (^.^)V

their new album was somewhat diff from the last one.. But all in the good way.
Like. Like.Like and LIKE again..(if only there's a like button here)
just the cover was DUH! wonder why must they make most of their cover like that.. Hurm..

CANT WAIT for JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* better start practicing the dance steps!!*

working live is totally overrated!!

Remember when you are still a student in some university, all you want at that time is to finish your studies and get into the community as fast as you could..

remember at that time you imagining yourself being a totally different you, more mature, poise, confident and more knowledgeable perhaps..

Yes!! I'm going to be a working women once I graduated from here.. Life would be so much different then" you told yourself..

after working for 6 month..

you liked your job.. and still striving to follow the vibe..

but..

but..

it seem that the way to go or survive at the place is only by flattering your boss, play by her rule.

you have no say on whatever issue that she come up with..

+ workplace politics began to take place more than the working issue..

+ Have to bear with the boss's pet, take over her job( which she messed and never admitting her mistake)..

+ take responsibility of other colleagues mistakes- just because you are higher qualified( while the fact is that you are just starting in the area, so how could I Know everything)

+ try not to be dis-hearted by comment made by others( the colleagues) who don't seem to be able to appreciate what you done ( IGNORANT people are such a pain in the ass!!)

+ You wake up everyday, feeling that job is just a routine from monday to Saturday.. do the same thing everyday.. tired by the end of the day

and then at the end of the day, lay half asleep.. asking yourself.. " what have i actually achieve today?' and just sleep without receiving the answer..

Yeah.. Life is different now.. - for all the wrong reason.

I DONT WANNA LOOSE MY PASSION TOWARDS NURSING.. !!

but given these circumstances.. I'm seeing myself running far away from what i hope to achieve.

I wanna love it here again !!

have I let go of my opportunity to work near home for something that i ends up hating.. ( not quite there yet.. but I fear that it will be one day)

have i lose all that i strive hard for for a job that the only motivation for me to keep on doing it is purely financial based..

i wanna keep on loving you dear colleagues, i wanna keep on enjoying helping you dear doctors, and most importantly,

I wanna be the one who will ease your fear before and during procedure,

A friend when you 1st heard a bad news after a CT/MRI checkup,

A person you can trust all your worries,

i wanna be the best for you .. dear PATIENTs..

Dear me..

PLEASE ALWAYS HAVE THE PASSION AND HEART TO DO GOOD.. no matter how hard the blow come from the surrounding.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
( mother theresa)