la dolce vita..

konbanchiwa minna..

wonder how are everybody doing.. i've been busy being boring, i think i dont have anything to update. * laugh*

when i check the total number of post i've made ( publish or just kept as draft) this is my 101th post.. wah.. that many aa.

i didn't expect myself to write that many nagging thought.. and to think that i first start blogging here because i need an outlet to release my life frustration..having 101 post here, My LIFE must seem like a tragic tale to you.. * deciding to cry or to laugh*

Hope I didn't get you wrongly think that my whole life is like a mess ( well, sometime it is)

LA DOLCE VITA means the sweet life in Italy. it's not that I can read nor understand italian nor am I a fan of the movie.. dolce vita is what i want to achieve by venting out here. SO that i will feel at ease after throwing em out.

i am a person with difficulties to show how I really feel in real life.. i just don't know how to react properly in most cases involving contact with others.

in front of the guy i like, instead of smiling endlessly and shows affection/or whatever it is that the normal girl would do.. my normal reaction would be like this:

Boy :( make a funny statement)

me : *laugh a bit*-if it really funny or just go *.........*

then change the topic without even trying do a fake laugh.

or

Boy : You are very creative la for doing.......... ( this or that) like this . never knew u are so talented

Me: *without much expression* .. urmh.. thanks..

then walk away like its nothing to be really happy about ( while the truth is i feel like flying with glee when he talks)

or the time when someone make me piss off..

All the time.. I can only smile a bit..or make a face and act as if i dont care eventhough i'm boiling inside.

I JUST COULDNT SHOW MY REAL EMOTION IN FRONT OF OTHERS

so that's why this blog was started..

i am always better at expressing them by writing or drawing than to just let run amuk in front of other. It has always works to calm me down.. except that i never have the chance to tell Dr Poet that I fancy him even before we started the drama preparation .That he was such a wonderful actor and that he was like the generator to the whole English class-without him the class was well..not lively. And I want to thank him because in some part or another, college life was bearable. OH Well.. that was old story.. But I can't help to wonder if our lines will cross again.

I think I have the worst luck with people.

When i loathe someone and wove not to EVER meet him/her again.. the next thing I know, i'm stuck with that person. It's true, there's this ex-roomate from Uni whom like to boast about herself or her man,take my thing without even asking, a fulltime attention seeker with loud voice and endlessly talks..talks and talks *shake head*. I thought after we were allowed to find our own place to life during 2nd year in , I would never have to face her again except during class, and it turns out she's living 2 floor above us.. then when have to stay in hostel again, she's next door and after graduated from uni.. she live just a block away from my house. AND i have to face her when me and my close friend went outing together because she live with that friend .Is this a curse or what? knowing this, I tried to shake the feeling i have for her all this while, but heck, if she's acting JUST THE WAY SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.. i doubt that any change is even possible. Maybe i'm blinded by hate..heh

In RL, i really don't speak much, unless it is necessary..

you wouldn't hear me going all girly-girly or gossiping like i did here..( unless you are Aliaa) I hate conversation just for the sake of not being quiet .. how to say this.. urmh.. the kind u did just to break the silence but you don actually want to listen to what the other reply to you..you just hate the quietness. But I like It, silence is golden, It prevent me saying the wrong thing to others and save others from my cynical remarks ( I'm damn good at that actually, just dont let me get it loose.. I can be REAL MEAN.. and i mean IT)

i dont know where this statement lead to.* laugh*

just.. sorry that all of you have to bear with my continuous rambling about life, this is my only way out since i left all my painting kit at home.. Or, i'll turn really crazy

i promise, i will try to update more on the merry side ( which i always so lazy to write about ) to balance with the ugly side( which i always have the energy to write about)

for bearing with me..

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

oh.. and by the way, i got inspiration on title of the blog from jiyoung's tatoo...*wink and laugh* you would have thought of that already.