I called her in, with a thin smile, she just walk towards me.
we went quite for a few minutes after I explained to her about the CT scan and prepare her for the test.
this was her 1st time doing the scan, so i understands if she felt anxious about it..
I looked at the diagnosis made by the specialist;- CA BREAST..
now i understand what that sad face is actually saying. My heart felt for her.
we talked for quite some time. She has just receive the news about her disease that morning-the lab result from her breast biopsy show that the cell was cancerous.. She was still in a shock., and most likely still unable to accept the news..
I wish there is more that i can do for her except just listening to her feeling and holds her hands in that time. Im half wishing that she could just cry if she want to, because it will ease her sadness, but she didn't. ( And i'm half cursing myself for being the one near to tears). She was calm during the whole conversation, telling me about her life, living as a single mother raising 3 children all by herself after her husband died.
I asked her about her feeling upon hearing the news.
"i'm scared" .. then she stops and look downs..
"i'm not scared of dying.. i'm scared to think how will my sons live without me.. can they cope? i dont want to be a burden to them.. "
a drop of water fell down her cheek.
This is women who just receive the news that she have cancer, she should be thinking about herself but all she could think was her children..( which all are already working and over 22 yrs old already)And I was thinking, "Our parents sure are the greatest person in the world, if only we know and appreciate them before they are gone"
we hugged before she left..with the same thin smile, she walks aways
I ran into the changing room.. Looked at the pic of my parent in the cellphone.Cry.
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on another occasion, a bunch of girls went out for dinner..
In the car when everyone else was chatting about around, someone's cellphone rings.
it was her father on the line..
the others went quite for a while..
As the girl on the phone speaks to her parents, someone else from the back sit suddenly snap, " Why must she always talks to her parents everyday? I think even when she wants to get married she will talks to her parents about it"
The other went quite still..
The girl with the phone clench her hand so hard.. forcing herself to calm down from slapping that backseater so hard in the face..
" It was my business.. ( suka ati aku la)" was all she could says.
then someone else's cellphone ring.. It was the girl in the back seat's cell..
Her boyfriend is on the line.. . And she have been calling him even before they started the journey to the restaurant and 30 minutes after that and 20 minutes after the 2nd call..
I couldnt help but to smirk and kick her hard in the stomach in my imagination..
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So.. it is WRONG to talk to your parents everyday, but it is totally OK to talk to your boyfriend every minutes..
Oh, I get It.. Parents are supposed to be remembered only when you have problems with your boyfriend and friends..
You dont need to asked how are they doing except the moment your neighbor call saying that your mum/dad was warded.. and then you snap back at your parents, " why havent you told me you are sick" when you called them last month.
You dont need your parents, so why bother talking to them about their life, why bother care about them when they are always there for 24 years of your life no matter how bad you talk to them.. you will always be their daughter. But you need to keep in touch with your boyfriend every minutes because you need them to like you, because otherwise he would think you are not interested in him and search for other girl or maybe he will be fuming mad because you didn't call back when you are really busy.
Yeah.. why bother thinking and keeping in touch with a couple of old people whom have been raising you, give you shelter, Love, education, listen to you when you are sad, tend to your sickness, give you whatever that you want when in fact that they don't have much for themselves.Always think of your best interest even during the time they are sick.
BUT
it is VITAL to think and call that Guy whom you just met the 3 weeks ago, who you doesn't even know if they really like you for you or they have other intention, always pushing you to tell him every thing that you did that day when you were really tired from working, who doesn't have the intention to have something serious with you in the near time..
YEAH.. WHY BOTHER ABOUT PARENTS? Your Boyfriend is obviously very important.
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