G the dragon

i'm in the mist of finishing up all the piled assignment from last week..
oh my.. only if i know that it'll turn out to be this hard, i would have done it earlier on.. hurm.. what the use of regretting that now.. but luckily there are still 3 week to go before the due date.

now mediaplayer is playing G-Dragons song, " Heart breaker" for the 5rd time since an hour ago.. hehe
I'm completely addicted to his songs aready. so that mean i'm not GD bias la kan.
wonder when will I have enuf money to buy the album.. ( harapan murni kononnya nak beli album ori.. tapi yang taeyang punya pun sampai skrg x beli2 jugak)
so loving the whole concept of the album.. and wow. the cover just superb.. ( but still HOT still da ichiban album in my cardiac )
i'm thinking of making a GD Popsicle/ lollipop using it already.. yum..yum..
Hoping Adib would be nice and "pemurah" enuf to buy me one.. please..please adib.. ( n.n)





1. 소년이여 ( A boy )
2. Heartbreaker (highly recommended..)
3. Breathe ( i dunno why but everytime i listen to this i would go.. "kya!! his voice is so cute ..haha)
4. Butterfly (feat. Jin Jung)
5. Hello (feat. 산다라) ( my favorite after heartbreaker..Dara's voice blend well with this song)
6. Gossip man (feat. 김건모) ( i fell instantly in love with the lyrics and the song)
7. Korean Dream (feat. 태양)( quite dissapointed that Bae's voice was change by that mixer machine.. huhu.. i wanna hear bae's sweet voice .. but still love it dearly)
8. The leader (feat. Teddy , CL)
9. She’s Gone (feat. KUSH)
10. Hollow
11. 1년 정거장 ( Station 1 year )


i'm missing the boys already!! GO back to Korea please!!!i feel weird listening to em in Japanese.

_______________________________________________________

Got message from adib earlier.. UTM x da letrik.. hahaha padan muka. mesti sbb warga dia nan sorang tu guna byak sgt electrical appliances kan.. haha
_______________________________________________________

..it 12 midnite already..

Happy Independent Day Malaysia!!!

bila aku lak nak merdeka dari assignment nih.. ( T.T)

Sabaq Izza sabaq

ok.. mental dah agak stabil dah ..

Heaven

because i'm bored.. n doin this is so much fun..
so did this 4 the 2nd time around..

Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from. ( malas la.. )

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
this love -GD.. (ok..watever)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
lovely day-super junior ( i wanna hold ur hand.. i wanna fall in love with u..hurm (n.n)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
honey- ayumi hamasaki.. ( what that suppose tomean.. sweet 2day?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
white out- tetsu 69 ( huh?)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
lost heaven- l'arc en ciel. ( 1st white out.. then lost.. OMG, what is happening to my life? mesti sbb mlas nak baca balik nota nih..heh)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
A day in our life - Arashi ( ohhhhhhhhh... just a day in ur life.. sedihnyaaaaaaaaa)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Find - SS501 ( hurm... ada maksud tersurat kah ni??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Gojitmal ( lies) - Big bang .. ( HUHHHHHHHH??.... tidak... saya ni suci murni.. mana ada pikir nak tipu2ni.. tak.. bukan saya tuh.. silap orang tuh..heh)

WHAT IS 2+2?
do you love me- BoA ( skali lagi ditegaskan.. saya x jiwanglah!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Zutto ( mengikut kamus bahasa jepun aku yang dah berkarat ni.. maksudnya FOREVER kan.. )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
always- big bang ( aha.. erm.. no comment.. pass)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
the day u went away - M2m ( ye aku simpan lagi lagu lama nih.. sya tak jiwangla, )

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
pieces- L'arc-en-ciel ( 4 real??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Kyosoukyoku~ cruel crucible-phantasmagoria ( maknanya aku berniat jahat kat dia ke? huh.. macam la aku berani sangat.. hahaha)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU
Megamix- linkin park ( hahahaha..... begitu serius ke kecomplex-an aku nih.. sian mak ayah aku ..ahahaha)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
My Darling - Kara ( x nak... nak lagu big bang- always, atau seung gi's -will u marry me..baru best..hehe)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
sayaendo - NEWS.. ( ROFL........why?... of all song.. sayaendo.."BRAVO!Bravo" kat sapa tuh)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Da eum nal (the next day)-seungrim( ooooooooo..perli rapat nih.. nak kata aku procrastinate le tuh.. yela.yela.. satgi aku baca balik la buku tu..)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Don't give a damn- BoA ( media player ni saja nak pekena aku ke ni.. dulu lies.. skrg ni lak..hurm.. to think back.. ada betul kot.. yang x rapat tu betul la kot( rare case saje ni ok)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Lost wing- Tsubasa reservoir chronicle OST ( ooooooohh.. sedihnya.. yes.. dat da worst la)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
10 point out of 10 - 2pm..( ape nih.. kat funeral aku main sayaendo.. aku mati lak camni.. tragisnya kisah ni)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Wa - Jun Jin ( hurm... x pahe la)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Blurry eyes - L'arc-en-ciel ( langsung x lawak bila rabun nih.. tipu la.apa yg lawaknya..huh? huh?

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Nobody - wonder girls ( i wan nobody, nobody but u.. 2 yang susah ni.. haish, need to move on la)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Rock on! - super Junior T( konfem la tu kan.. hahaha..)

kalo aku nak dia ni boleh??

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
moon rabbit- yuna Ito ( agaknya la.. )

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
loose my breath - destiny child (oh ho!!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Since yesterday - tommy february 6 ( jap.. what was it again?)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
my ear candy - Baek jiyoung ft taec ( no way.. tak.. tipu la)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS
tengok tajuk di atas


ok..ok.. break is over, now lets get goin with with the notes please..
studi studi..

geli lah!!!!!!

i know i should be reading my pediatric note now.. but well... it seem like that note would have to wait for a while..
my mind was distracted by this ..( dah kurang dah pahala posa aku sbb nih)



OH MY GEE..............boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please don't do that in reality please..

"dr every night i be wit u.. jadi every night i'm dirty"ahaha..
bengong la..Dirty eyes girls ( aku termasuk ke dalam kategori ni..hahaha)

and teac........ ahahah.. ilang la imej marcho de !!! * geleng kepala*

rosak lagu abracadabra yang aku mnat tuh... huhu..
rosak r 1 day camni.. huhu..nsb bek Junsu ngan Jae xmasuk skali.. uhuhu.(>.<)

macam geli r tengok dorang laki pakai cam pompuan ( tapi aku x prejudice to transverse ok)

tidaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....x sanggup tgk 1day jadi camni.. tapi ulang tgk byk kali jugak..heheh

geli r dorang neh.....

bila malas studi...ini kejanya..

1. got class tomorrow..
"apa.. 1 ramadhan ada kelas.. kan cuti tu?".. ayat makcik aku bila aku bagitau x leh balik cheras..ambil dok bercerita sal Abg fizi bagi cheese kek 2 bijik kat dia..
layoq la tu.. kejamnya makcik aku.. dah la siap gelak guling2 bila aku bagitau ada kelas esok ( ini imaginasi aku jelah time tu..hahaha)
sedihnya...
dah r dari kul 5pg sampai 9ptg..
isk2.. mampukan aku menahan diri dari dugaan besar esok nih?
jangan tido dalam kelas.. ingat tu!!!!

2. got management test on Sunday..
and havent read anytin on 3 topic that i missed ( suma ni salah kem NUSA tu la.. * salah org len jugak*)
haisy... dah x da mood lagi nak membaca..
* try to force self to read*



hurm.... ( smbil selak page)






hurm...






hurm...

argh.. x leh masuk pape jugak.. i felt bored reading my own note ( this is really weird)


3. oh and MR lappy aka VIP 1 got tired playing these songs these 3 days ..

this...



never know that taec have that deep voice when he's in 2pm
and sooooooooooo loving his voice here..
today's count-10 times playback of this song on mr LAppy
definitely my ear candy!!

and this..



i love his new hair..macam Laruku's HYde.. or lady gaga?
and GD never fail to amaze me with his fashion..
but love gossip man more than this song..( ngapakah aku terasa macam x berapa suka album dia ni sangat macam aku suka Bae's HOT album? i'm GDbias ke ?)

and i want that apple!!!
must get apple!!! pastu nak buat jadi bentuk love camtu ah.. ( y i never think of that b4?)
todays count : 6 time playback

dan yang ni semestinya yang ni..




today's playback count : system error- too many time to be counted..hehe
aku sampai dah boleh hafal da lyric dah.. ( including TOP's rapping part)..
hehe...
siap la.. next karaoke session.. this will be on my list.. hehe( 2 pun kalau ada la)

4. it's 2 am already..

been in front of my Lappy since 12, still searching for the mood to read..huhu
x da hasil lagi nih..

baik tido la!!!!!


so kesimpulan hari ni.. bila ,malas.. Izza akan menulis ntah hapa2 ntah kat belog dia tapi x ngaku dia dah buang masa je kat depan laptop dari 2 jam lepas.

owh..sblm tlupa..

SELAMAT BERPUASA SEMUA!!!!

LIVEJOURNAL please recover..

the internet line here sometimes kill me..
too low that it takes more than 1 hour just to open up livejournal..
and when it finally able to open that site, most of the time the background will disappear, no pic.. just words..
argh...... geramnya..
i love my LJ soooo very much..
tapi x leh bukak lak..
and that why i've been actively mumbling here.. hehe

what shud i do then..i definitely do not want to close that blog..
I've met many interesting frens there.. ( now obviously lost contact la)
and the feature is more to my style than blogspot
but i feel like cursing everytime i open LJ..
huhu..

i miss my LJ sooo very much!!!

Friends- our legend

post ini khas kepada my 2 BFF..

Aliaa and Adib..
i think i didn't have 2 explain that u 2 r the most important person in my life- after my family la.. that's is. ..
and i noe i ever tell u guys how much u meant 2 me.. but believe me.. " u meant the world 2 me"

and lets this vid and song explain the rest..
this is what i have in heart to tell u 2..




da thing i want so much 2 express..

( da lyrics)--

yeah T.O.P right here! (with SOL!)
And Its been a while You see! (Long time no see)
I still remember them days.. you remember?
Reminiscin over you..
but Im aiht !
like always

{verse1}
Didnt take it seriously 우습게 봤다가
Guess its all over now 벌써 끝이났나봐
Tore up my map 마지막 마침표
Where I had put 찍어놨던 나의 지도
my last period 다찢고
Back on the streets 다시 길거리로
Not wandering though 헤메 헤메는게 아냐
Searching for myself 날 찾아 가는것이지
Why bother to run? 뭘 도망가 ?
A whale dreaming of 푸른바다 그위를
Swimming엄쳐엄쳐 헤엄쳐 가는
In the blue ocean 고래의 꿈
Awkward when we first met 어색했었던 첫대면
Grew to care for each other 오고가던 서로의 배려
Spent many years together 어느덧 함께한 세월
Sometimes arguing 가끔의 갈등과
Stayed up all night together 우리 함께 밤새며
Our history is at dawn 우리의 역사는 새벽
Have sworn to renewed friendship 새로운 우정을 다짐하네 때때론
I know 나도 안다고
Such a foolish idiot 어리석었던 바보
At a pointed correction talked to a friend but 날카로운 지적에 친구와 이야기 하고도
The last promise between us 마지막 이라는 약속
Dont know if thatll be kept 아직나도 지켜질진 몰라 (몰라)
I dont know myself 나도날 (몰라)
Dont know well, thats the problem 잘몰라서 그래서 곤란해

{hook}
We were friends 친구였잖아
When we were together 우리 함께라면
We were like kids 어린 애 마냥
Now I dont know where I am, where I am going 이제 내가 어딨는지 어딜 가는지 몰라
(Feel more alone still 더욱더 허전해 여전해)
Im wandering 방황하잖아
After youre gone 널 떠나보낸후엔
Im in the darkness 깜깜하잖아
I dont know where you are, where youve disappeared to 이제 니가 어딨는지 어디 갔는지 난몰라
(Still feel so alone 아직도 여전해 허전해)

{verse2}
Cold, strong 차갑고 거센
Rain and wind 빗줄기와 바람
Heaven and earth are still wet 아직 마르지않는 하늘과 땅땅
A starry night 아주 오래 보지못한
Havent seen it for a long while 별이 빛나는 밤..밤밤
Oh, look at me 나를봐.
Its a lie theres no such thing as 나는 1년, 2년, 10년
A choice you wont regret 100년 1000년이 지나
In 1 year, 2 years, 10 years 후회 없는 선택 이라는
100 years, 1,000 years 헛된 다 거짓말
Why do you regret now 왜 이제 서야 후회하는 건가
Looking back 돌아 보면
I made more things wrong 내 죄가 더 많아
Gush-sh-shing 사사사사 랄라랑아
Wind cuts like a knife 매서운 바람만 살랑살랑
The memories I left behind 내가 버린 기억
Like a crushed sugar cube 부서진 각설탕
Tossing and turning, getting thirsty 불편한 꿈자리 목이 말러와
My young love 나의 Young Love
Still so fragile 아직은 여려서
Splish, splash 첨펑 첨펑
Just swimming around 헤엄만 치네
Wandering about 헤메이네

{hook}
We were friends 친구였잖아
When we were together 우리 함께라면
We were like kids 어린 애 마냥
Now I dont know where I am, where I am going 이제 내가 어딨는지 어딜 가는지 몰라
(Feel more alone still 더욱더 허전해 여전해)
Im wandering 방황하잖아
After youre gone 널 떠나보낸후엔
Im in the darkness 깜깜하잖아
I dont know where you are, where youve disappeared to 이제 니가 어딨는지 어디 갔는지 난몰라
(Still feel so alone 아직도 여전해 허전해)

{bridge}
Long Time no see
Told you to leave me 아무부담 없이
No need to feel guilty 떠나라고 했지만
(You and I both) (나도-Oh 너도-Oh)
Without you 니가 없이
Im like 살아가 나는 어찌
A lone, sad wild goose 슬픈 외 기러기
(You and I both)(나도-Oh 너도-Oh)

{hook}
We were friends 친구였잖아
When we were together 우리 함께라면
We were like kids 어린 애 마냥
Now I dont know where I am, where I am going 이제 내가 어딨는지 어딜 가는지 몰라
(Feel more alone still 더욱더 허전해 여전해)
Im wandering 방황하잖아
After youre gone 널 떠나보낸후엔
Im in the darkness 깜깜하잖아
I dont know where you are, where youve disappeared to 이제 니가 어딨는지 어디 갔는지 난몰라
(Still feel so alone 아직도 여전해 허전해)


( spatutnya lebih jiwang..tapi video yang dikehendaki x leh nak embed lak.. spoil tul)

i noe sometime i' not the best of friend i should be..
forgive me 4 that..
but really hope well be a LEGEND one day..

i hope we can look back in the older days and remember what a great friendship we have all those years..

even after 10 .. 20..50.. sampai bila2 pun..
i still hope i still have both of u standing behind me..
i still hope we can still smile to each other, joked together, share experience together..
i hope we'll still be together..


p/s : top can really make a great song ain't he.?and Teddy.. he is just Genius!!my 2 sexy hubby singing together.. heaven~

* lets make this our theme song.. hehe*

Somebody call 911!!

sebenarnya aku patut bt keja dah sekarang..
tapi en mood x mai lagi.. ( haish.. ponteng keja la dia hari ni)

sambil2 dok tahan sakit kepala ni..
sambil baca Bigbang fansite yang pasal Daesung ..
aku teringat balik kisah accident aku time semester 1 dulu (skrg aku semester 7 dah)

selalunya aku x suka cerita sal benda ni.. sbb bila aku kena citer balik, aku kena ingat balik benda yang aku dah lama cuba try nak lupa ni..
perasaan takut, risau, marah, penat, sedih.. semua mixed feeling yang aku rasa waktu tu akan jadi fresh balik bila aku teringatkan accident tu. .
but since i think i'm quite ok remembering that now.. aku cerita la.. ( ni belog aku kan.. suka ati la..hahaha)

seumur hidup aku, aku x penah masuk hospital sebagai patient sebelum peristiwa tu..
tapi eversince benda tu jadi.. aku sebenarnya agak trauma la nak pegi emergency room..
tapi bila dipikirkan balik.. ada kebaikan incident tu jadi. aku lebih paham camna perasaan patient bila tetiba jadi mangsa kemalangan.

bila diingatkan..,aku ada banyak "first time" time accident tu.
1st time aku beli tiket dan naik bas sendiri.
1st and last time aku naik bas malam.
1st time terlibat ngan accident bas.
1st time pegi emergency room.
1st time buat polis report.
1st time kena tipu ayah aku- tapi fail la.

hari tu hari jumaat kalau x salah aku, En yusub sepatutnya mai KL untuk uruskan sal Biasiswa negeri Kedah ngan aku.. tapi, pagi khamis tu, Adik aku telefon.

aku: Ayah jadi x nak mai cni.? kenapa bukan ayah yang call? ( sbb dia gn hp ayah aku)
Jeton si budakbusuk: .... ( diam jap) Kak, ayah masuk wad semalam. sakit jantung.dia kat hosp sultanah BAhiyah (peringatan-dont do this at home ok, anda boleh menyebabkan orang yang mendengarnya pun sakit jantung)
aku :*macam nak pitam* ( dok nangis2.. pastu letak telefon)

terkejut? mmg dah wajib la aku terkejut. kalau kena sergah hantu pun aku mungkin x se'terkejut " macam tu ( "se'terkejut"?ohh.. teruknya bahasa melayu aku sekarang)Ayah aku x pernah masuk wad pun. yang aku tau, dia ada darah tinggi ja. dan malam sebelum tu aku cakap ngan dia, biasa ja. I never expect such thing to happen to him.
dah puas nangis2, aku pegi juga kelas.. tapi memang apa ja yang lecturer dok bebel kat depan aku x dengar pun ( nasib baik aku x kena panggil.. kalo x.. mesti aku ulang balik ja soalan dia). pas abih kelas, aku terus la pegi Puduraya nak beli tiket balik.. ( tu pun time tu x tau pun puduraya kat mana.. nasib baik ada Ayu.. Thx Ayu). dah sampai pudu pulak.. lagi satu masalah.. Aku x tau patut beli tiket yang mana. last2 kena tipu ngan "ulat-ulat" kat sana. DUGAANNNNNNN... ( sila baca dengan gaya macam dalam pendekar bujang lapok)

aku beli tiket kul sepuluh.. tapi kena tunggu bas smpai kul 12 tgh malam. tapi sbb risau punya pasai.. hentam je la. dah la basnya buruk..mcm bas persiaran biasa, lambat sampai lak.. Kalo aku yang normal, dah hangin lama dah.. Kul 12 tgh malam baru jalan.. aku dah terlampau penat merisau,menangis, berjalan,berlari ,menunggu, time tu. so, terlelap la pas dalam sejam bas jalan.

baru je terlelap sikit, aku dengar bunyi benda terlanggar kuat la.. pastu kepala aku terhantuk ke seat depan dangan kuat.. pastu aku x ingat apa2 sampai tiba2 jiran yang duduk kat tepi aku kejut aku.. dan time tu aku dah terpelosok ke tepi tingkap yang hampir pecah, di bawah seat penumpang depan. Bas dah terbalik ke kiri ( dan aku duduk kat bahagian kiri).
aku ingat lagi.. terjaga ja, aku rasa macam disorientated sangat.. aku x paham kenapa bas berhenti, kenapa aku terpelosok kat bawah seat, kenapa semuanya gelap.
aku lap muka aku, dagu, pipi,ngan bbrp bhg muka, kaki, ngan tangan aku macam ada air banyak-tapi bukan air mata dan baunya macam darah.. tapi aku x rasa sakit .. Aku dengar orang lain dok jerit2 sakit dok panggil nama2 orang . Tapi kenapa? Aku ingat semua tu mimpi ja..

jiran aku tu.. kak ..ape namanya, aku x ingat, tolong papah aku kuar dari bas melalui lubang kecik yang kat bhg atas bas. pas kuar, kitaorang suma dok berkumpul kat kwsn lapang berumput. time tu baru aku tersedar.. " aku terlibat dalam kemalangan bas" dan baru la aku terasa sakit kat bahagian yang berdarah tu. kak-jiran aku tu suruh aku call parent bagitau keadaan kitaorang..dan kalau boleh mintak parent tolong mai amik. Dia call BF dia. aku?
call parent?
xkan aku nak call En yusub yang duduk kat Cardiac Care Unit ( CCU) bagitau kata aku kemalangan? silap2 lagi tenat la dia. pastu.. nak call sapa..PAkcik.. tapi aku x mau kacau dia..
kredit dah la abih.. tapi nasib baik boleh tebus kredit guna mata ganjaran maxis..
so the only number i can call at that time is only my dad's number..

en Yusub: Hello.. dah kat mana dah ( nampaknya dia tau aku nak balik)
Aku : on da way.. kat mana ntah.. ermmmm , ayah,, bagi mak cakap jap..
En Yusub : ( diam jap) .. OK.. nah. ( waktu ni pun dia dah suspect somethin sbb aku jarang mau cakap ngan mak aku guna telefon)

nasib baik mak pandai berlakon.. buat2 macam kitaorang cakap sal isu2 remeh..pastu suruh aku bertenang..sb aku asyik nangis. Cayalah Pn Timah. !! ( bleh dapat anugerah pelakon wanita terbaik)

( alaaa jangan r marah..mak..hehehe)

dah lama dah dok kat kwsn kejadian tu, pas 3o mnit kot, baru ada satu ambulan sampai.

sbb kecederaan aku ngan ada lagi 6 orang lebih teruk dari penumpang lain.. kami ja yang dibawak naik ambulan 1st..
pengalaman pertama aku naik Ambulan.. - aku yang sakit sikit jadi bertambah sakit, yang x takut, jadi takut pulak bila dah dalam ambulan.. Aku jd takut ngan emo sangat time tu.. x kisah r orang tengok ke x, aku menangis sepanjang perjalanan ke Hosp Slim River.

pas dah dirawat, bt x-ray apa suma, lagi satu bala pulak, kena tunggu bas nak bawak pegi pejabat polis bt report. menunggu lagi, 4 jam ooo duduk kat ED tu tunggu bas saja. pas bas sampai, pegi bt police report, kn tunggu lagi ( ntah tunggu apa ntah) baru boleh balik.

tambah tolak.. ada la dalam 12 jam terbazir utk menunggu ja. aku dah sangat fedup dengan semua aktiviti menunggu ni.
dah dapat bas utk terus perjalanan balik, bas tu pulak bt perangai.. semput kat highway.. jalan kejap berhenti..jalan berhenti..
aku dah tensen x terkira.
kul 10 lebih.. ayah aku call balik,

en yusub: " kat mana ni" .
aku : kat perak dah.. (padahal dah 10 jam dah lepas aku 1st time call dia.-spatutnya dah sampai dah pun)
en yusub: lambatnya..
aku: bas rosak tadi.. sbb tu lambat..

pas 2 jam.. dia call balik, kata dia dah boleh discharge, kenapa aku x mai skali jemput dia balik. aku tipu kata aku dah sampai, tapi penat, rehat kat umah mak teh aku.

nak dijadikan cerita.. makteh aku pulak pegi tanya dia aku kat mana. aiseh.. Fail bigtime la..

dalam kul 5 ptg baru sampai kedah.. guess sapa yang pi amik.. En Yusub.. ayah aku yang pegi amik..
aiseh...
nampak sangat tipuan yang gagal..
pastu dia bagitau, dia dah syak something happen dari 1st call lagi.. dan mmg confirm something wrong sbb aku x sampai lagi time dia dah discharge. last2 dia paksa mak aku bagitau..
nasib baik la x da pape jadi kat dia kan..
tapi aku jadi emo la.. spatutnya aku yang melawat dia.. last2 aku yang " dilawat"

sejak kejadian tu.. aku dah takut amik bas balik malam.. tapi skrg aku dah try mengtasi rasa takut aku nk naik bas malam..
aku jadi fobia bila kereta/bas/van tetiba berhenti mengejut..
fobia ngan bau kaca + darah ( x tau nakk describe camna.. tapi ada satu bau dikeluarkan bila kaca pecah bercampur darah- ke aku je yang boleh terbau benda tu hahaha [ mcm edward cullen lak)
dan yang paling penting.. aku jadi lg motivated nak tolong org time2 disaster ngan accident camtu.

so.. that cloud has it's silver lining la.. n i saw it already.

( nasib baik de dah ok.. Thank god..Saranghae omma, appa)

TAPI..

hal tu x abih kat situ ja.. Pas 3 tahn issue ni kuar masuk mahkamah, syarikat bas tu setuju bagi mangsa 1 ribu sorang..
tapi yang peliknya dan macam syialnya..
daripada 1000 tu, mangsa cuma dapat 110 ja..Spek aku yang pecah sbb accident tu lagi mahal dari duit yangdapat tu..
kenapa?
sbb si peguam.. yang ntah sapa2 tu charge setiap orang 890 ( utk da overall procedure kononnya) macam utk duit minyak dia ( bukannya dia pegi 3o kali utk wakil 30 org pun-kan ke dia pegi untuk wakil semua, kenapa charge utk individu, bukan by group)
dia charge utk service-1500 ( tapi bahagi ngan suma mangsa-dalam 50 ja per head), ( 150 utk duit minyak dia,)(100 utk cari maklumat bla..bla.bla tapi hasil akhir 890 la)
kami yang sakit.. kami yang trauma, kami yang berparut..
kenapa si peguam yang kitaorang x tau pun ni yang kaut untungnya.. ( cuba kira, utk sorang dia mintak 810, ada 12 orang yang ditawar 1000 tu, berapa dia dah bolot)

something is wrong with the justice system here..
or maybe bcos we dont understand this system.. thus, they trick us using the system.
ntah la.. tapi aku sangat marah la ngan hal ni..
aku x pegi amik pun duit pampasan atau bayar kat peguam tu.. ( dah cek tu ada kat dia, pandai2 dia la kan..) aku dah FEDUP ngan semua corruption ni..
or maybe u could explain this, aliaa.

is the lawyer doin da right thing, or is he tricking us to get the money to himself?

UNWELL

( kan baik kalo ia selalu macam ni)

langit mendung lagi..
awan2 komulonimbus dok berarak lagi macam orang2 bengong yang berarak time sbb ISA haritu..Such a waste of time n effort..
kalo korang mau berkumpul beramai2 pegi masjid ke tilawah al-Quran lagi bagus dari dok melaung2 kat SOGO, Jalan TAR, and MAsjid Jamek.. Malu la bila ingat.. Kenapa Melayu senang diperkotak-katik macam tu..
eh.. dah termasuk bab politik lak..

hari ni dan semalam asyik ujan ja..
aku x berapa gemar la bila hujan ni.. sbb aku selalu akan dilanda MIgrain bila nak ujan.. kira macam aku boleh bagitau bila nak ujan.. sbb tetiap kali aku migrain teruk, bbrp minit pastu mesti ujan lebat..
bila ujan lak.. wajib la perangai malas aku menjadi2..
tambah2 bila migrain dtg.. lagi la aku x leh buat pape pun..
mmg ada positive correlation la hujan ngan migrain aku ni.. tapi bila bagitau Pn Noriah.. mesti dia cakap," mindset tu" ( aku sangat x suka teori ni)
tapi.. aku bukannya migrain bila dah ujan.. dari sebelum hujan tu turun lagi kepala aku dah berdenyut2 sakan macam orang dok main drum dalam kepala.

management + entrepreneurship + pediatric

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

banyaknya keja x abih lagi..
semalam kononnya nak stat buat semua.. tapi x jadi,sbb migrain datang lagi!!( macam tora datang lagi pulak)
last2 dok melepak je kat bilik..sambil tengok "i am Sam"-tapi teng0k vid boleh pulak.. bt keja x boleh .. macam2 alasan. ( saya rasa heroin dia sgtla comel.. jeles r)
bila la nak abih suma keja nih?

skrg.. si ujan tengah turn sikit2..( rain is falling..over you and me. sambil nyanyi lagu W-inds ft GD)
haisy... dah mai dah mood malas...

izza.. jia you ba!!!!

newsflash: i'm utterly speechless reading wat happen to daesung .. even if he do not have serious injury.. i'm sure that the post-accident trauma will be very terrible.. like what happen to me (which take about 2 years to subsides)..

Dae.. DAe.. please get well soon!!

BB wouldnt be the same without u!!
n we'll miss you!!

Yes i'm a nurse.. Is that wrong?

ever since school days.. i always dream of becoming an Interior designer, or a graphic designer, VIsual art artist, ...basically anything that is related with art.i'm sooooooo in love with art that i've gone against my father and take Art as my 12th SPM. subject ..
and gladly i did very well back then..
and i believe that I could make a living with my art skill.

then..i got accepted to matriculation. although i did get some other offers to take these Art related program in universities.. but i didn't accept it, because..I wanted to explore what does the matriculation life could offer me.. and anyway, i could still go for those courses after i finish matriculation.
and then.. after a year in matric during the time to choose the course i want to take in university later on, i found myself asking..,
"do i really want to do those art-related job?"

"can i get a satisfaction if i work those area?"

" what can i contribute to the society by working in that area'
and i found myself having these urge to help others.. that's was when i found my love for NURSING. and I'm qualified enough to take up other courses rather thanNUrsing.. but i choose to be in it. (of all 8 choices of courses-7 of em was filled with nursing courses)

my dad totally oppose of this decision.. even in my 2nd year.. he would still suggest me to change courses.. fearing that i have taken the wrong part.. ( because he knew i was always so keen on ART)
and i cant blame him for that..

I thought i have enough love and courage to take up this course.. To say that truth, there were time after I got in the the University that I wanted to quit because it was so hard to struggle with studies, other people's perception and my own expectation of myself . But it's not like I wanted to seriously quit, and I think that's something that everyone thinks at least once inside their heart.

During those stressful days,a lot of time.. i cried on the phone and told my parents about the stresses that i have while on this program. I hate being here so much..
I was betrayed, stabbed behind, lied upon here. Someone spread false rumors about me and that resulting in me being called many times by the lecturers and head of department. And there's once been an incident where my marks was given unjustly.. i just dont understand why that thing happens as it shouldn't been happening.. and my group have given our best to earn better marks.. BUt these things just happens right?
i never felt so depressed in my entire life..

Making thing worst, I always feel so downgraded by other when talking about my career path.When people around me ask about my Course.. and i answer back.. " i'm a nursing student" , the response wasn't always positive.
if at the first, before they know i'm a nurse-they would talk using a differnt kind of way..it would suddenly change to," owh.. a NUrse" like i just say something totally dumb..like i suddenly look dumb to them..

Nursing alone is hard.. and people like that keep making this job harder for us.. and what's wrong with that?
why must people look at me like i'm such a loser for choosing this path..
why must u talk to me like i'm so lower ranking than them.. like suddently i turn stupid just because they know that i'm a nurse.
why must people downgrade me for the path that i take..

Even in the working area.. We were always downgraded by other health care personnel.. Especially doctors. even when we are already working so hard..we were there by the patient side every shift, give them what they need. help them with whatever they ask us to. Nurse them..BUt then, we were always the last person to be appreciated in the ward. and the first to be blamed if something goes wrong..

and i'm tired of this..tired of being unappreciated..
tired of being perceived as stupid and incapable of doing anything right even when we got enough knowledge and skill.
tired as being seen as handmaiden to the doctors even when we have the same educationa level as them.. we are colleagues. not the doctor's servant.
Tired of being seen as soo lower ranking compared to our other working colleagues ( doctor, occupational therapy, Medical imaging ect2)..like getting the.. "oooo.. nurse" and the sudden silence after knowing who we are. or when what we said was the last to be heard just because they think they are superior to us.
i'm tired of all of this bureaucracy thing that keep us low in the eye of the public.

and i'm a degree level student.. but in Malaysia, there are still no posting placement for degree holder nurse to be in the clinical area that enable them to get their salary based on their educational level. we can't get the U41 ranking yet as that would mean that we are the same level as doctors and that was opposed by them ( but .. hello. we got our degree too) And we are no longer the supporter team. ( bukan kumpulan sokongan)..so we deserve to get U41. but then.. People and their Jealousy, close-mindedness and ignorance.. so now, even when i study more than the diploma level student..spend more time in school than them.. i would still receive the payment of a diploma nurse..
and worst, our prospect here in Malaysia isn't too bright as many private hospital also favor to take diploma nurse rather than degree holder nurse.

( my friends and i.. the first student batch taking degree in nursing after our Matriculation)

IT WASN'T EASY TO BE A NURSE.. THUS DON'T MAKE LIFE HARDER FOR US..

for my soon to be doctors friends.. please.. try to understand this. Doctors work on curing the patient and nurses works to nurse the patient..not to just hang around you,or be your handmaiden. We have our own job.. you have your own. We are not your handmaiden. so please.. as much as we respect your job.. please respect our too. but i totally apologize for the wrongdoing of some nurses who just take nursing as a job.. not career-those who did very careless and unprofessional work . but please, don't generalize us based on the wrong doing of others. We are changing. and I want to be one of the changing agent in this nursing profession.

And we are also human, so please respect us as human.. Don't go screaming around in the ward at the nurses for their wrongdoing. please be professional. lets us works with each other, instead of against each other.

i just love this quote " If there are people who are having problems with studies or related to sports....... It might sound harsh, but thinking that you're doing your best is not sufficient, is it? People around you are working even harder. Try harder and harder and if it's still impossible, then you're not suited for it. Suitable, and unsuitable is something that happens to everyone, so you just have to work hard at something else." It was py's who said this.. and i realize..i always feel like i have given my best in everything.. but there are always other people who are working even harder than me, thus i should go all out before i give upon this.. And i'm glad i did.

( i love him for his maturity and deep thinking regarding something. and at the same time manages to pull off that stupid goofy character that i love so much. thanks for the inspiring words..py!!)

after 3 years in the nursing courses.. meeting lots and lots of people. Experiencing enough bitterness.receiving lots of moral support and encouragement from both the patients and some doctors ( who are indeed very helpful and kind).. my own experience in clinical area..I think, Nursing is the best job on earth.
there is no other job that let us touch someones heart soo deeply and at the same time allows us to help them with their pain, suffering,sorrow,worries, uncertainties, loneliness, from the day they were sent to the ward until the day they are able to smile back.. and walk, and talk.., and later come to us with the biggest gift of all..
A "THANK YOU"from a patient that we have help all along..

and i think i want live everyday for things like that to happens..

to be able to help others as long as i can and aspire them to live their life.I

hope i can be a good nurse.. I hope i'll be able to change the current situation here in Malaysia and improve our image.God.. please help me to walk along these path.. and please make me able to do all that i aim to do..

(our practical in 2008.. I had wonderful time learning and experiencing many things here. the doctors are very helpful to teach us thing we don't know )

( in the obstetric and gynecology ward.. I think i had the best time of my life handling the babies here)

( our community program, in negeri sembilan.. It was so much fun and satisfaction to be able to get along with the society here)

i call it baeholic virus

korang dah dengar Gara gara go?
walaupun dah lama, aku still rasa lagu tu macam sangat fresh lagi.

taeyang.. stop making me fall in love with you everyday!!!!
dia punya suara sangat la sedap macam biasa..
boleh angau la macam ni.
dah la de bertambah cool n marcho dalam Video clip tu..
gembira gile aku bila utube dah diunblock kat cni.. mv 1st aku bukak mestila yang ni.
hahaha... saya gumbira dapat tengok youngbae saya. !!



rasanya dah beribu kali dah tengok MV ni.. tapi sbb aku dah tersangat suka suma part Bae nyanyi dalam lagu ni.. x kira la berapa kali pun.. nak tengok jugak.
kalau la baca buku pun boleh rajin macam ni.. mesti mak ayah aku bangga kan..
tapi nak buat macam mana, suma buku Nursing x da model korea langsung.. asyik omputeh ja.. not my taste la.
jadi, secara langsung membuatkan aku x minat sangat nak ngadap buku skrg..
kalaula Bae yang jadi lecturer aku.. aku mesti bleh dapat 4 flat kot semester ni.. heh..
x pun bae jadi model dalam buku anatomi.. Heaven~ ( dah mai dah perangai pervert dia)

sangat suka la bila tengok dia bt camni

( macam sangat marcho la)

atau macam ni

( de ngan GD sangat cumel la.. rasa macam jeles lak kat
GD sbb slalu ngan YoungBae.. gila betul la aku)

atau

bila dia main piano macam ni

Marcho gile dowh!!i totally melt!!
kenapakah dia sangat2 marveles, kakkoi, ensem, manly, comel, dan terer macam nih?

sebelum ni aku x penah suka pun lagu Usher, " u got it bad" ,neyo "so sick" ngan crist brown" with u"
tapi pas dia nyanyi 2 lagu ni.. terus 3-3 lagu ni jadi lagu wajib aku bila pegi karaoke.. ( suka le 2.. sambil berangan nyanyi mcm young bae. nasib baik nisa ngan nina x tau sal hal ni)
Bae.. marry me!!ok..ok.. aku tau aku dah gila ngan dia sangat time ni.. haha ( kalau En yusub tau mesti dia geleng2 kepala. apa nak jadi ngan anak dia nan sorang nih)
atau ini tanda aku patut tido skrg.
dah kul 3. 17 pagi Izza woi..

dah la dari kul 12 tadi satu bunga pun x jadi lagi..
buat keja la woi!! banyak tempahan nih..

(ni la dia benda yang aku dok jual seminggu ni..
bunga aku buat sendiri.. tapi malam ni x jadi keja la nampaknya)
berminat?

kalau Bae yang bagi kat aku.. alangkah bahagianya!!!!

ok.. baik tido dari terus meraban kat cni.. ciao!

cerita 1 ogos

1 ogos..

hari yang sangat bermakna bagi orang2 yang tau maksudnya.. macam aku .. ( bengkeng gile sbb aku tau.. hehe)
Friendship day!!
teringat zaman kat sekolah dulu, kelabEnglish slalu untung banyak time ni sbb ramai orang beli coklat dorang bagi kat kawan2..
seronok betul tengok orang2 dapat coklat.. sambil tu dok tunggu2 jugak " bilala aku nak dapat pulak ni"
tapi aku x slalu dapat pun.. (dengan nada sedih2)
takpela.. sapelah diri ini huhu..

time ni la si senior2 yang popular macam kak Pah ngan drum major Band akan sangat "kembang" dan bangga sbb dorang la orang kaya coklat time musim friendship day ni..
nyesal aku x slalu mencapub time kat sekolah dulu..
kalo x, mesti aku glamer jugak.. ( walaupun mungkin x seglamer nabil raja lawak kan)

time2 friendship day ni jugak la tetiba2 ja dapat la mesej dari kawan2 yang setahun skali baru teringat, kawan2 yang slalu gadoh tapi tetiba jadi baik hari tu, dan kadang2 kawan2 yang aku x penah tau aku ada pun .
hai..
lawak plak bila ingat..
kenapa bila 1 ogos baru kita teringat kawan2 nan jauh dimata ( tapi kdg2 kwn2 yang dekat2 pun x ingat jugak pun)
kenapa mesti aku nak tunggu 1 ogos baru berani nak mesej2 ngan kawan2 lama..
sbb x da benda nak cakap ke?
mungkin la kot.
tapi apapun.. ingatan dari seseorang tu yang lebih bermakna kan..

kepada kawan2 aku dari zaman sekolah sampai skrg... terima kasih banyak sbb sudi berkawan ngan aku nan senget ni..
kalo x da korang, agaknya lagi senget la aku kot.. hoho.

adik aku slalu mengadu, "kak tu kalau kawan2 dia mintak apa2 pun suma dia bagi, bila Atun mintak benda memanjang x da la, x boleh la, tapi kalo kawan dia tu.. huh.. cepat tul. Bagi ja" ( ini kes DVD citer jepun atau DVD konsert Bigbang)

tak pun

" kak tu kalau Atun ajak keluar memanjang tak mau.. ngan kawan2 dia nak pulak"
( ayat2 x puas hati seorang adik yang kurang hasam..heh)

tapi.. bila ingat balik.. memang pun aku banyak kali melebihkan kawan2 aku dari adikku tu.
so.. x heranla dia slalu protes x puas ati..
tapi kadang2 salah dia jugak jugak.. apa suruh slalu gado ngan aku. hahaha

kalau diteliti balik sejarah kejadian ni( ayat.. x tahan..)
aku stat sangat rapat ngan kawan2 sepermainan, sepergaduhan dan sekuturambut ni lebih dari adik2 aku dari time kat sekolah rendah lagi..
adik aku penah sampai nak bermusuh ngan besfren aku time darjah 3 sbb aku lagi layan kawan aku dari dia ( budak nan sorang tu dulu mmg ganas sket.. tak tau nak kata pa la). tapi nsb bek x de pape jadi la.
pastu kat sekolah menengah.. time kat asma dulu.. aku la kaki balik lambat..
aku rasa aku layak digelar budak hostel jugak la sbb aku kul 6 ptg baru balik umah..
so... all that time pun aku ngan kawan2 aku jugak.
sbb tu . sampai skrg.. orang yang aku rasa paling rapat nagn aku selepas mak ayah adalah kwn2

dengan dorang la aku slalu ceriita masalah aku yang mak ayah aku pun x tau..
tolong dengar ketidak puashatiasan aku terhadap sistem birokrasi semasa ( ini sekarang)
tukang support kegilaan aku kat mamat2 jepun/korea
tukang backup bila aku kena marah
tukang marah time aku tak leh marah..( aku sayang la korang sbb korang lebih terasa sal hal Pn N* dulu tu.. sumpah.. aku x penah tau pun aku teraniaya begitu teruk kalau bukan sbb korang)
tukang sedih time aku tengah blur..
tukang angkat tangan nak paksa aku jadi debater ( aku dendam ngan korang sal hal ni.. jahat la wei buat aku mcm tu)
tukang support time aku cakap ntah hapa2 ntah time debate dulu.
tukang bagi pinjam CD, DVD..
tukang pinjam CD/dvd jugak ( sharing is caring kan)
agen2 penghasut aku suruh beli barang time sale ( tapi aku la slalu jadi penghasut orang len tu..haha)
jd penceramah x bertauliah time2 aku nak sesat..( kdg2 tukang bagi lagi sesat jugak)
jd cikgu tak berdaftar time nak exam ( yang ni aku terhutang budi sngat la)
jadi penyebar berita2 terkini time aku sangat blur ( banyak gosip lagi daribanda len)
tukang penyebar virus Bigbang ( ini specific kepada cik Aliaa)
tukang penyebar virus Karaoke ( inin pulak specific kat Nisa)
tukang kacau aku time tengah boring2 dalam kelas.(specific kepada Adib)
tkang bagitau lecturer kalau aku sakit.
mangsa2 time aku PMS ngan migrain.. ( sori byk2 wei)
mangsa2 dengar aku membebel..
mangsa2 yang terpaksa layan jugak lagu2 korea yang aku pasang
penjaga aku time aku demam/ sakit sepanjang idup aku kat hostel ni
-jadi pembekal panadol, air cap badak, air asam jawa dll ( Nina, Nisa..time kasih sebab risaukan aku time tu)
penghibur & penenang aku time aku sedih.. terutama time tok wan aku meninggal.. i was at my hardest time.. and thanks for understanding my condition by then.

macam2 la ertinya kawan2 kepada aku..
tapi yang pastinya.. korang la " my precious one" ( sambil nyanyi2 lagu precious one KAttun)

terima kasih untuk segalanya